Posts Tagged With: teenagers

“A Canine’s Guide to the Good Life” by Donna Cavanagh – Book Review

Canine'sGuide

Dogs steal our hearts. Dogs take control of our lives. In A Canine’s Guide to the Good Life, Donna Cavanagh, The Empress of Comedy, tells us how. Well actually, she got her dogs to relate their plans for world domination to her, but even understanding Dog is an amazing achievement.

And if you’re a dog, Donna and her dogs show you how to get a good owner. (Always let the human think she’s the owner.)

Then learn: how to order at a fast-food drive through, proper etiquette for vomiting, how to wear a seat belt, ways to look cool in a bandana, proper behavior in bed, techniques for spitting on windows, the best ways to greet people, and how to be polite. This useful book even doubles as a primer for raising teenagers.

Donna Cavanagh writes humor with a deft, light touch. I enjoyed A Canine’s Guide to the Good Life very much and recommend it highly.

See her book on Amazon.

– Paul De Lancey, reviewer

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Categories: book reviews and excerpts, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Morog Polao (Bangladeshi chicken pilaf)

Bangladeshi Entree

MOROG POLAO
(Chicken pilaf)

INGREDIENTSMorogPolao-

4 chicken breasts
1 medium onion
1 ounce cashew nuts
4 large garlic cloves
1½ ounces ginger root
1 tablespoon poppy seeds
1 teaspoon cardamom
¾ teaspoon chili
½ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon mace
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon turmeric
½ tablespoon lemon juice
¼ cup milk
¼ cup plain yogurt

2 cups basmati rice
3½ cups water
2 bay leaves
1¾ cups water
1 cinnamon stick
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ cup ghee or butter
1 gram saffron (.035 ounce. Tiny but mighty, you bet.) or ½ teaspoon safflower

SPECIAL UTENSILS

spice grinder
sonic obliterator (essential for all sensitive chefs)

Takes about 3 hours. Serves 4.

PREPARATION

Cut each chicken breast in half. Dice onion. Put the following ingredients one at a time in spice grinder and grind until you get four different pastes: cashew nuts, garlic cloves, ginger root, and poppy seeds.

Add chicken, onion, ginger paste, cashew paste, garlic paste, poppy-seed paste, cardamom, chili, coriander, mace, nutmeg, salt, turmeric, lemon juice, milk, and yogurt to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand until chicken pieces are well coated with spices. Marinate in refrigerator for at least 1 hour.

While chicken marinates, add rice and 3½ cups water to large bowl. Let rice set in water for 30 minutes, then drain water. Add bay leaves, cinnamon stick, and 1 cup water to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Boil for 5 minutes. Remove bay leaves and cinnamon stick with tongs. This is the spicy water.

Add marinated chicken and vegetable oil to pan. Sauté chicken on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until chicken starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat. Add ghee, saffron, and drained rice to second pan. Sauté rice for about 5 minutes or until rice starts to splutter. Stir constantly.

Add chicken, sautéed rice, and spicy water to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and cover. Simmer for 20 minutes or until rice is tender. Serve to adoring quests. Sonically obliterate the unappreciative; it just means more for those who like this entree. And besides, you don’t need negativity.

TIDBITS

1) The similarities between Bangladesh and Tennessee are astounding and many.

2) Morog Polao, this Bangladeshi entree, has four vowels, o, in it.

3) Tennessee has four vowels in it as well, e in this case.

4) Morog Polao is served at Bangladeshi weddings.

5) Food is also served at Tennessean festivals, including deep-fried ice cream and deep-fried Caesar’s salad.

6) Julius Caesar never made it to either Bangladesh or Tennessee.

7) Bangladesh is an anagram for bagel hands. Tennesseans eat bagels with their hands.

8) Tennessee is an anagram for seen teens.

9) Teenagers have been seen in Bangladesh and in Tennessee.

4) Uh oh!. We’ve already seen 4). I hope this is just a typo, not an indication that we are going back in time. In which case, my twelve-minute eggs will never get ready. I mean they’ve been cooking for eight minutes now and pretty soon they’ll be three-minute eggs because we’re going back in time. My gosh!

10) Ah! 10). We are not going back in time. It was just a typo.

11) Typos occur in both Bangladesh and Tennessee. If all these similarities can occur in two widely separated spots in the world, who’s to say involuntary time travel can’t happen? Watch your eggs.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sococho (Panamanian Soup)

Panamanian Soup

SOCOCHO

INGREDIENTSSococho-

4 garlic cloves
1 large onion
2 tomatoes
2 pounds yucca or cassava root
1½ pounds potatoes
2 pounds boneless chicken parts
2 teaspoons olive oil (additional ½ tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon cilantro
½ teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon olive oil
4 cups chicken stock

SPECIAL UTENSILS

Dutch oven
rocker knife or knife with thick blade

Serves 8 bowls and can take up to 2 hours to prepare depending on the battle between you and the yucca root goes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Dice onion and tomatoes. Peel yucca and cut it into ½” cubes. (Cutting yucca root is much easier with rocker knife or thick-bladed knife.) Chop potatoes into ½” cubes. Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Add 2 teaspoons olive oil, cilantro, oregano, salt, and chicken to mixing bowl. Thoroughly coat chicken with herb/salt/olive oil mix. Let marinate for 20 minutes.

While chicken marinates, add ½ tablespoon olive, garlic, and onion to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add chicken and its herb/salt/olive oil marinade to large soup pot. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Stir occasionally. (How about “Pink Chicken” as a name for avant garde band?)

Add chicken stock to soup pot. Keep heat on medium. Add potato and yucca to pot, cover, and cook for 45-to-60 minutes or until potato and yucca are tender. Add tomatoes and cook for an additional 5 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) Van Halen has a song called, “Panama.” A lot of people thought the words were actually “Padded bra.”

2) Either version makes as much sense in the song.

3) I keep hearing Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders singing, “I’m gonna make you, make you malteds.” I like the idea of a famous singer making me a malted. I do prefer them over milkshakes.

4) Does anyone else hear “Do the hustle” as “Tuna hustle?” How does a tuna hustle?”

5) And of course, Creedence Clearwater Revival tell us, “There’s a bathroom on the right.” That’s nice to know.

6) Okay, okay, tidbits 1) to 5) are a prime example of what happens what I look up fun facts for a country and find nothing exciting except . . .

7) In Panama, the sun rises in the Pacific and sets in the Atlantic.

8) This is because time runs backward in Panama

9) In Panama, the people use American dollars for transaction involving paper currency, but their own home-grown coins, the Balboas for vending machines and buses.

10) Panama’s coins are named after Rocky Balboa the hero of all those Rocky boxing movies.

11) How is it possible that the Balboa coins came before the Rocky movies but are named after the series’ main character? Time runs backward in Panama. Remember tidbit 8)?

12) People in Panama win all the American lotteries, since they know all the winning numbers.

13) But they lose the big jackpots when they exchange all that loot when they buy their lottery tickets. Does this frustrate the Panamanians?

14) Yes it does.

15) Invariably the American lotteries are then won by Americans or by citizens of other nations where time moves forward.

16) Augh! I’ve lost my train of thought.

17) Whew, I’ve got it back. Time gets a bit dicey when passing from a country where time moves forward to Panama where it regresses. Often people crossing the Costa Rica/Panamanian border find themselves in a sort of stasis field where time doesn’t move at all.

18) Which is a boon for parents of surly teenagers. If you have the cash, simply deposit your young know-it-all, whatever, in anyone of the stasis fields dotting the border there and leave him there.

19) Don’t forget to take your child home when he’s old enough to leave home for good.

20) You get up to eight years of clean bedrooms and the teenagers won’t get embarrassed by your ignorance. It’s a win-win situation.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cheese Fondue and World Peace

Swiss Entree

CHEESE FONDUE

INGREDIENTS??????????

6 ounces gruyère cheese
6 ounces emmenthaler cheese
1/2 baguette or French bread
3/4 cup dry white wine
½ teaspoon lemon juice
½ tablespoon corn starch
1 ½ tablespoons kirsch or dry sherry
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

SPECIAL UTENSILS

fondue pot
fondue forks

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grate gruyère cheese and emmenthaler cheese. Cut baguette into 1″ cubes. Place baguette cubes on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 3 minutes or until cubes become toasted to your liking.

Add white wine and lemon juice to large pan. Warmt wine using medium heat for 5 minutes or until wine starts to bubble. Immediately reduce heat to low. Gradually stir in the grated gruyère and emmenthaler cheeses. Cook on low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until melted cheese begins to bubble. Stir frequently.

Blend cornstarch with kirsch in mixing bowl. Add cornstarch/kirsch mix, pepper, and nutmeg to pan. Cook on low-medium heat for about 3 minutes or until cheese fondue sauce becomes thick and creamy. Stir frequently

Transfer fondue in pan to fondue pot. Adjust flame under fondue pot so that the cheese fondue barely bubbles. Use fondue forks to dip toasted baguettes cubes in fondue sauce. Marry anyone who consistently buys you the ingredients.

TIDBITS

1) Dry sherry sounds wrong, kinda like dehydrated water.

2) To get water from dehydrated water, just add water.

3) A lot of shower water get wasted just waiting for it heat up.

4) Agriculture always needs more water.

5) But people like their hot showers.; won’t give them up.

6) The solution is to have the water that would normally go down the drain before the person gets in the shower be sent to the corn, wheat, rice, and lettuce fields of the world.

7) Of course, it would be impractical to build pipes from people’s showers to all the farms.

8) Instead, we must move everyone’s showers to the farms.

9) Commuting hours to our showers will be a hardship at first.

10) But things will get better when we move our homes, equipped with showers, to the farms.

11) But not entirely.

12) We will now face horrendous commutes to our jobs.

13) But that will get better when our factories move out to the farms as well.

14) Everything will be right next to us, our homes, our food, our employment, and our showers.

15) We won’t have to spend any more money on automobiles for commuting nor will we need trucks for shipping foods and merchandise.

16) We will have the money we spent or cars and trucks to buy things we really want.

17) The economy will boom.

18) With no gas being used on combustion engines, pollution and global warming will decline dramatically. The Earth will become a new Eden.

19) With little oil needed to make gasoline, there will be no need for nations to fight each other for that energy product. Putting all of humanity in these small farm/city/shower islands will free up previously used lands for all future and larger populations. An enduring peace will break out over the world.

20) No commuting and more income will mean that the two biggest stresses on the modern family disappear. Families will become bundles of happiness.

21) Teenagers will even clean their rooms.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sausage and Lentil Soup

American Soup

SAUSAGE AND LENTIL SOUP

INGREDIENTSSausageLentilSoup-

1 pound Italian sausage
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 garlic cloves
3 medium onions
1 1/4 cups brown lentils
2 stalks celery
2 carrots
1 bay leaf
3/4 teaspoon thyme
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
64 ounces chicken broth
12 leaves spinach

makes 8 bowls

PREPARATION

Sauté sausages in olive oil in pan on medium heat for 10 minutes or until done. Remove sausages. Cut sausages into slices 1/4″ thick. Dice garlic cloves and onions. Add garlic and onion to pan. Sauté garlic and onion on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Devein celery. Dice celery, carrots, and spinach. Add all ingredient to large pot. Cover pot and simmer on warm-low heat for 2 hours.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses garlic. Garlic wards off vampires.

2) Italy uses a lot of garlic. It has hardly any vampire sightings worth mentioning.

3) Garlic never wards off sausages. Italy has a lot of sausages.

4) So, it could be argued it’s all those Italian sausages that keep vampires away.

5) I’ve looked at garlic and Italian sausage. Neither item looks particularly scary to me. But then again, I’m not a vampire. However, most vampires don’t fear tax auditors as much as we humans do. This is because they don’t have jobs. They just bite necks of teenagers who don’t have the wit to get out of a scary building.

6) The United States, Russia, and China don’t have vampires. It’s safe to say the armies of these mighty nations are well equipped with garlic and Italian sausages.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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