Italian Entree
FIVE LAYER CHICKEN FLORENTINE
INGREDIENTS 
FIRST LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE
1 10.5-ounce can of cream of celery
½ cup mayonnaise
¾ cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon lemon juice
⅛ teaspoon salt (⅛ teaspoon more in FOURTH LAYER)
⅛ teaspoon pepper
⅛ teaspoon Mediterranean rice spice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
SECOND LAYER – RICE
1 cup rice
THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN
2 chicken breasts
2 tablespoon vegetable oil
FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE
1 10-ounce package creamed spinach
½ cup milk
¼ cup grated Swiss cheese
1 small onion
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
⅛ teaspoon thyme
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
⅛ teaspoon salt
FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE
½ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter, melted
¼ cup Parmesan cheese
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT
large casserole dish
medium casserole dish
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
PREPARATION
The five layers are from bottom to top:
First: bottom sauce
Second: rice
Third: chicken breast
Fourth: top sauce
Fifth: cheese and bread crumbs
FIRST LAYER – BOTTOM SAUCE
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add celery soup, mayonnaise, Cheddar cheese, lemon juice, Mediterranean rice spice, ⅛ teaspoon salt, pepper, and rice vinegar to baking dish. Mix thoroughly with fork or whisk. Bake in large casserole dish for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. Set aside. (You can save time by preparing the fourth layer and putting in the oven after you have put this layer in the oven.)
SECOND LAYER – RICE (Above bottom sauce)
Cook rice according to instructions on package. Spread evenly over FIRST LAYER in large casserole dish when both are done.
THIRD LAYER – CHICKEN BREAST (Above rice)
While at the bottom sauce is baking and the rice is cooking, cut each chicken breast into 12 pieces. Add chicken and vegetable oil to non-stick frying pan. Sauté chicken on high heat for 10 minutes or until it starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Put chicken breasts on top of the SECOND LAYER of rice when all 3 layers are done. (Resist the temptation to drive to KFC.) Set aside,
FOURTH LAYER – TOP SAUCE (Above chicken breast)
Dice onion. Add creamed spinach, milk, Swiss cheese, onion, Dijon mustard, thyme, coriander, poultry spice, and ⅛ teaspoon salt to medium casserole dish. Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. Remove and set aside. Put sauce on top of the THIRD LAYER of chicken breast when all 4 layers are done.
FIFTH LAYER – BREAD CRUMBS AND CHEESE (Above top sauce)
After you have taken the casserole dishes out of the oven, and have placed the first four layers in order, spread the bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese evenly over the FOURTH layer. Pour the melted butter evenly, as always, over everything. Put the five layers in the large casserole dish back in the oven.
Bake for 25 minutes at 375 degrees. The sauce layers should be set and the chicken cooked through.
Grab a cold mug of root beer. Sip it slowly. Savor the taste. Grab the frying pan with your other hand. Use the pan to threaten anyone who complains about the wait for this dish. Then eat it all yourself. It’s great.
TIDBITS
1) Spinach was cultivated 2,000 years ago in Iran. Now, Iran may very well be contemplating building a nuclear bomb for dubious purposes.
2) The ancient Romans and Greeks cultivated spinach as well and never built a nuclear device.
3) So maybe we shouldn’t worry about Iran.
4) After all Popeye The Sailorman always consumed cans of spinach in times of crisis and always fought for the honor and welfare of his beloved Olive Oyl.
5) California produces half of America’s spinach.
6) Did Popeye’s spinach come from California?
7) Did Popeye ever marry Olive Oyl? I’d like to think so, even if they had to elope to do it.
8) I had a Yogi The Bear lunch box in first grade. I don’t believe I ever had Five Layer Florentine Chicken put in it.
9) This recipe originally called for 10.75-ounce can of cream of celery soup. The recipe uses a 10.50-ounce can.
10) Why?
11) Shrinkflation. Inflation describes how prices rise over time. Companies know we don’t want to keep paying more for the same thing. So, they shrink the size of their products. They still get the same amount of money from us, but smaller amounts of ingredients, means their products cost them less to produce. They make bigger profits as they think we aren’t clever or observant enough to notice.
12) Shrinkflation is rampant, especially in times of higher inflation. The size of cans, bottles, jars, and packages in most of my recipes have decreased since press time. Bastids.
13) It makes me wonder about the opportunities for shrinkflation outside the food industry.
14) Instead of raising the price of basketballs, make them smaller and smaller. Would this affect basketball games in the NBA? Yes, it would.
15) Car tires. The price of these tires are already high. Why not make them smaller? And smaller tires will slow your car. You’ll receive fewer speeding tickets. Note, there’s a limit to tire smallness. If the tires become so tiny that they can’t reach the road, the car won’t more. No more shrinkflation. Yay!
16) Lens size for glasses. Why pay more for a pair of glasses, when you can shrink the lenses? After a while others and you won’t be able to see them. (See what I did there?) No more self consciousness about your appearance.
17) There should be three more lines of tidbits, but I shrank this section’s size.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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