what I did

What I Did and Didn’t Do Today

My quarterback stunt double

I went to physical therapy today to get the muscles in my lower back and legs stretched. Indeed, I am making progress despite spectacular fall in the kitchen last night.

My tight muscles, tendons, thingies are, no doubt, I did not start as quarterback for ANY NFL team last weekend. And my prospects for playing this weekend are fading rapidly.

But I shall perservere. Soon you will, Paul “TD Man” De Lancey leading a lucky team to the Super Bowl. Go, Paul, go!

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Know You Want to Party With Me

My pantry, it’s organized

I want straight from sleeping in bed to fighting a website in order to schedule an MRI. It was much harder than it should have been.

Watched a squirrel run around outside my outside door. The therapeutic value of squirrels is immense. Also, it just so happens that the squirrels who hide in the hedges are veterans from Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron. They worked alongside our regular armed forces and did the jobs that are literally too small for our human service people to do. They have seen things no squirrel should have to see and performed mighty deeds for our country. I salute you, my furry warriors.

Four 8-cup Mason jars were delivered last night. So with a lilt in my heart, I further reorganized my shelves of flours, sugars, etc.

A well-earned bowl of strawberry Cheerios provided the sustenance I needed for my next project.

I completely reorganized the pantry. I know, such fun!

Now, I’m writing up my activities in the hopes that they’ll inspire you to peform your own deed of greatness. And dare  I say it, impel you to meet up with me where we will knock back great steins of cranberry grape juice and sing the songs of our people until the police shoo us outside for causing a ruckus.

I will now take a bath–with bath bombs of course–and read a book about the worst modern teams in baseball.

And then at night, I’ll view the detective series Vera and Death Valley Days hosted by the Old Ranger.

You know you want to party with me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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What I Did Today

Destined to be pickles

Woke up, got up, showed, and dressed. Go me, you little bundle of energy.

Went to my office. I divided my time between making a recipe for Refrigerator Pickles, looking at my finances, and looking at bunnies outside my window.

Then I went to a doctor’s office for my second post-surgery visit. The doctor was early. I know! I was doing fine. I finished my visit early as well. I tried to leave by elevator, but accidentally went to the third floor instead of the first. But it was all to the good as I was able to hold the elevator doors open at both floors for a woman and her quite elderly mom. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy keeping those doors open. But it all ended well.

Then I headed to a nearby gourmet supermarket. They didn’t have Kirby cucumbers or pickling cucumbers as they weren’t yet in season. I drove to a Middle Eastern supermarket near my home where pickling cucumbers were in season. I also purchased some Middle Eastern food items that are hard to get elsewhere.

I had some free time on my hands, so I organized a flash olympics at Poway’s main park. Such fun!

I made a humble dinner. Then I started making Refrigerator pickles. They’re marinating in the fridge. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I do hope you behaved yourselves while I was preoccupied.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Did Today

Liechtenstein, a tough nut to crack

After much internal debate, I got out of bed, showered, and got dressed. Look at me, all adulty and everything.

Poked around my finances instead of taking to the street and fomenting revolution.

Make an appointment to have my ears looked at.

When shopping at the supermarket. I was planning to make a two course meal.

I decided instead to invade Leichtenstein. It did not got well.

Me: Yo ho, I’m invading your country. I’m going to rule your country.

Border Guard: No you’re not. I’ll stop you.

Me: You and what army?

Border Guard blows whistle. Three burly sorts run up to me.

Border Guard: Me and the Leichtensteinan army.

Me: Aw, man.

Border Guard: Shoo. Shoo.

So, I went home, dejected and tired. I jettisoned plans to make Cilbir (Turkish eggs with yogurt.) and made Powegian Pastrami Pepperoni wraps instead.

I’ve had a couple glasses of chocolate glasses since then and am feeling more upbeat.

I hope you behaved yourselves while I was careening around Europe.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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My Busy Day

My stunt double’s kitchen. It’s tidy as well.

All sorts of things in my finances demanded attention. Nothing at all serious, it just took much of the day to sort things.

Number One Son is flying home for the weekend. Huzzah. I made pot roast for him.

I did a lot of organizing in the kitchen and in the office.

All this work made my back hurt, but I have a clean kitchen and office.

I hope you behaved yourself in my absence.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

I was very busy today, so this post will be matter of fact.

Number Two Son passed his second of four tests for his CPA. Yay.

Drove across town for physical therapy for my lower back which hurts more than usual and is stiffer than usual.

Went shopping at Dollar Tree and got some coffee drinks, pie crust, and taco shells.

Ate lunch.

Shopped at a supermarket.

Helped friend with weed wacking.

Went to a crafts class. I worked on my latch-hook project. I am now completely accepted by the group.

What a wonderful day.

Then evil poked its nose into the tent. My CPAP company is committing fraud against me and Medicare. They claim I ordered a CPAP machine last year, which I did not do.

Declared a truce with the universe and took a nap.

Number One Wife made macaroni and cheese using the smoked ham I made Monday. Yay!

Oh, and five minutes a spaceship landed. A lime-green alien shaped a bit like an aorta asked me, “What is my favorite color? I said, “Lime green.” I think the alien nodded. Then it went back to its spaceship and left. I think I might have saved the world, but I dunno.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Did Today

It hid under a floor mat

I got up, showered, and dressed.

My friend and  I went to a doctor. Then we went to an exercise class. Then we took lots of bags to what we thought to be a recycling building. It turned out to be a dumpster. The errand took such a long time. Let me tell you Google Maps(tm) is far from infallible.

As am I.

I got home and found out my cell phone was missing. I searched everywhere in my car. I called and called my phone. Nothing. I called my friend. She looked all over and called and called. Nothing. I tried tracking my phone via Google. Nothing. I tried tracking my phone an Apple app. It asked for my password. I didn’t know it as one of the younger natives only picked one to register my phone. The Apple app on my computer informed me that it would take days to get me a new password.

My friend then looked again.

She found it!

It was under one of the floor mats in her car. How was it possible for my phone to find its way there? The mind boggles.

Now I’m too tired and worn out to do anything. I had planned to scurry across the country causing mischief. Maybe tomorrow.

I hope you behaved yourself when I was looking for my phone.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

I got a standing ovation!

I got up and contemplated the infinite; it’s quite complex.

After that I showered and dressed.

I went to one of my exercise classes. Helped a friend I had to hurry with my shopping for I am in the Berlin Circus. Rushed to the airport. I did my act. The crowd gave me a standing ovation. That made me very happy.

Flew back from Germany. Made an appointment for physical therapy. (Ongoing issue, I did not injure myself at the circus.) I cooked beef and bean burritos for dinner. Now, I am taking it easy. Whew.

I hope you behaved yourself when I was out of the country.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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What I Didn’t Do Today

I spent most of today trying to make an Easter Lamb Cake. The first attempt was a complete disaster. The second try produced an Easter Lamb on meth. Then it ended its troubled life when it’s head fell off. Also, the relatively complicated icing proved too much for my poor manual dexterity. So many ingredients. So much time. So many things went wrong. I had hoped to post a cooking blog for Easter. I am sad.

– Paul De Lancey

 

 

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What I Did Today

Eyes on the prize

Woke up feeling a tiny bit better than the previous three days. Not starting the day with a big headache is a definite plus. Took a nice warm bath while doing New York Times’ Thursday crossword puzzles.

Didn’t do finances as nearly all of the world’s financial markets and stuff were closed. So, I took the car out for a spin. Even though I had no particular place to go, I still managed to get lost. I almost landed on Uranus. Horrors! As contrived luck would have it, an alien* took pity on me and hurried me home. Left me tell you, the current UFO models are sleek and fast.

* = The alien asked me not to give his name.

Anyway, I spent about seven hours collecting sourdough recipes, understanding them, and making my own recipe.

Also bought sourdough  things. I’ll be receiving them late tomorrow. They are:

flour-sack towels
banneton or bread proofing basket
6-quart enameled cast iron Dutch oven
bread lame (This is basically a razor blade attached to a stick. You won’t want to meet me in a dark kitchen.)

Then I made Cuban Garlic Bread Soup for dinner. I celebrated with a piece of chocolate cake.

That’s it for today. Try not to get into mischief.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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