humor

Roasted Kabocha With Tahini Sauce

Posted on February 17, 2025 by pauldelancey

Fusion Entree

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ROASTED KABOCHA WITH TAHINI SAUCE

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INGREDIENTS
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1 small kabocha squash (about 1 pound)
1 garlic clove
2½ tablespoons olive oil
½ teaspoon cumin seeds
¼ teaspoon pepper or Aleppo pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2½ tablespoons tahini paste
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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non-stick baking pan
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Serves 2, Takes 50 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Wash squash as the skin is edible. Remove top and bottom of kabocha. Cut kabocha into 1″-thick wedges. Remove seeds and stringy bits..Mince garlic clove.
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Add kabocha wedges to large mixing bowl. Drizzle olive oil over wedges. Add cumin seeds, pepper, and salt. Toss kabocha wedges until well coated. Add coated wedges to baking pan. Roast for 15 minutes at 425 degrees. Flip wedges and roast for another 12 minutes or until kabocha wedges become tender and turn golden brown.
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While wedges roast, add minced garlic, lemon juice and tahini paste to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Spread lemon juice/tahini paste mixture over the kabocha wedges.
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TIDBITS
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1) In 2013, wealthy heiress Carla Sanderson put everything she had into Kabocha food trucks. At first, 20,000 Carla’s Kabocha trucks roamed our nation’s  streets Indeed, by 2020, only 3,000 trucks remained. Was it possible not enough people knew about roasted kaboch?
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2) By last month, the nearly bankrupt Carla had only one working truck. In extreme desperation my social-media friend turned to me for advice. “Why not,” I said, “staff your kabocha trucks with kabuki players? Kabuki players draw in crowds. Then sell your squash. Entertained people love the smell of Roasted Kabocha with Tahini Sauce. Let’s hold the trial run in Pea Ridge, Arkansas.”
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3) The people of Pea Ridge loved it. As of yesterday, 1,000 Carla’s Roasted Kabocha and Kabuki Theater now crisscross Arkansas . Expansion looms. Carla and I are now billionaires. Yay!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chow Chow

Posted on January 16, 2025 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

CHOW CHOW

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INGREDIENTS
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⅓ green cabbage or 2½ cups shredded
⅔ green bell pepper**
⅓ red bell pepper**
1 green tomato*
⅓ sweet onion
2 teaspoons coarse salt
¼ teaspoon celery seeds
¾ teaspoon mustard seeds
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon mustard powder
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
¾ cup sugar
¼ teaspoon turmeric
¾ cup white distilled vinegar
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* = Substitute with green-colored heirloom tomato, tomatillo, or just-picked tomato
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 4-cup Mason jars.
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Makes 1¾ cups. Takes. 8 hours 40 minutes
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PREPARATION
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Shred, or coarsely chop, green cabbage. Seed and dice green bell pepper and red bell pepper. Dice green tomato and sweet onion. Add cabbage, green bell pepper, red bell pepper, green tomato, onion, and salt  to Mason jar. Cover and let sit in refrigerator for at least 8 hours. Drain liquid.
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Add celery seeds and mustard seeds to pan. Toast for 1 minute at medium-high heat or until seeds become fragrant. Stir frequently. Add allspice, mustard powder, red pepper flakes, sugar, turmeric, and vinegar to pan. Stir occasionally. Add cabbage/veggie mixture. Bring to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Ladle contents into Mason jar. Leave ¼” gap at the top of the jar. It should keep for up to 6 weeks in refrigerator.
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TIDBITS
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1) Chow Chow is tasty dish. Chow Chow is also a type of dog. Do not confuse them. You might be wanting a dog for companionship only to find out that the dog you brought home was really relish. You could say hi to it, but it won’t respond. If, however, you made relish chow for chow chows and named it after  your chow-chow dog,”Chow Chow, you could sell Chow Chow Chow Chow’s Chow Chow Chow. This opportunity awaits you. Go for it.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shrimp Gravy

Posted on October 13, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SHRIMP GRAVY

INGREDIENTS

1 green bell pepper
1 celery stalk
1 medium onion
1½ pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined (41-50 count)
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
6 bacon slices
2 tablespoons butter
¼ cup flour
1½ cups beef stock

Serves 6 Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Seed and dice bell pepper. Dice celery and onion. Add shrimp, garlic powder, and seasoned salt to mixing bowl. Stir with fork or hands until shrimp are completely coated.

Add bacon to pan. Cook at medium-high heat until crisp. Remove bacon with slotted spoon and place on paper towels. Crumble bacon. Keep bacon grease in pan. Add bell pepper, celery, and onion. Sauté for 4 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add butter and flour to pan. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 5 minutes or until flour turns copper brown. Stir constantly. Reduce heat if necessary, to prevent burning.

Add beef stock and coated shrimp to pan. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 4 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Stir frequently. Add crumbled bacon. Mix with fork until well blended. Goes well over freshly cooked rice or grits.

TIDBITS

1) When I was a kid, I took speech therapy classes. One of the phrases I had to master was “Butter makes the bitter batter better.” I enrolled in one acting class. I had to say easily, “You need New York, unique New York. You know you need unique New York.”

3) I played Snoopy in my grammar school’s version of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I even danced and sang. I built upon this success to play Wildcat Willie in my middle school’s production of Wildcat Willie Carves the Turkey.

4)Strange to say, I landed no more roles after that. I do however, have the occasional dream where I’m on stage and I don’t know the name of the play or my lines. Sigh.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Laughing Dog Thinks You’re Funny

Posted on April 9, 2022 by pauldelancey

And special as well. Woof!

Ha! Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Brown Sugar Honey Mustard Smoked Ham

Posted on January 22, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BROWN SUGAR HONEY MUSTARD SMOKED HAM

INGREDIENTS

10 pounds ham
⅓ cup barbecue rub
no-stick spray
1⅓ cup brown sugar
1 cup honey mustard
2 cups orange juice

SPECIAL UTENSILS

smoker
apple or cherry wood chunks
meat thermometer
disposal aluminum pan
sonic obliterator

Takes 7 hours 30 minutes. (Times vary with smoker.) Serves 15.

PREPARATION

Preheat smoker to 250 degrees. Add wood chunks to smoker. Rub barbecue rub onto ham. Score ham in a diamond patter ½” deep. Spray disposal aluminum pan with no-stick spray. Let ham sit out at room temperature for 1 hour. Add ham to aluminum pan. Cook for 1 hour

While ham cooks for 1 hour, add brown sugar, honey mustard, and orange juice to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. This is the glaze. Cook until temperature registered by meat thermometer reaches145 degrees. Baste ham with glaze every 45 minutes until done. Remove ham and let sit for 20 minutes

TIDBITS

1) Sometimes, ingredients can be hard to find. Once I looked for a specific herb for a Mongolian dish. However, this herb could only be found in a remote part of northwestern China. You need to get permission from the Chinese authorities to go there. Chinese police will probably start to tail you when you start looking all over the land for this rare herb. And even then, it’s seasonal. I opted for a substitute herb.

2) Then there are instances, like for this recipe. I wanted a 7-pound ham. My local supermarket did not have a ham in the refrigerated aisles. They did not have one on display at the butcher. They did not have one there. They did not have one anywhere. I asked the butcher if there might be one at the back. He said no. He added there were no hams in all of Poway, my fair city. I eventually found a ten-pounder 30 miles away. So if your guests give you any guff about the meal you created, zap them with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your kitchen.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Favorite Funny TV shows – Part 4

Posted on December 15, 2021 by pauldelancey

Waiting for its favorite comedy to come on

So many good, funny shows to remember. I’m probably forgetting some great shows. Some I never saw. I enjoyed all the ones in this list.

Are You Being Served?
Bewitched
Bugs Bunny Show
Carol Burnett Show
Clatterford
Jack Benny Show
Hazel
Hogan’s Heroes
Keeping Up Appearances
The Kennedys*
McHale’s Navy
My Partner the Ghost
Porky Pig Show
Plebs
Ripping Yarns
Sgt. Bilko
Shaun the Sheep
Under Dog

* = Show is side splittingly funny and I wished there had been more episodes.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, my favorite | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cranberry Sauce

Posted on November 25, 2021 by pauldelancey

Bosnian Appetizer

CRANBERRY SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1⅓ cups sugar
¾ cup water
½ cup orange juice
1 pound cranberries

Makes 3¼ cups. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add sugar, orange juice, and water to pot. Simmer at low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves completely. Stir frequently. Add cranberries. Cook at medium heat for 15 minutes or until cranberries crack open and sauce is dark and thick. Remove sauce from heat.(Sauce should thicken more as it cools.) Cool in refrigerator for 1 hour or until ready. Goes well on poultry, pork, beef, and fish.

TIDBITS

1) Cranberries are good for you in all sorts of ways. I forget some of them. Apparently, cranberries don’t help the memory much.

2) The Picts and Celts in Ancient Britain were fierce warriors. They got their energy and stamina from eating cranberries. If the these ancient fighters ate too many cranberries they got tummy aches. They also found oodles and oodles of excess energy coursing through their veins. They became too hot. The Picts and Celts had to let some of their escape or they’d collapse.

3) So the first Britons took off all their clothes to cool off. Being nude, they painted their bodies blue for modesty’s sake. Then they charged the opposing army with a ferocity that’s never again been equaled.

4) But they didn’t wear hats or paint their heads. The skin on their heads turned red under the hot unforgiving sun. The invading Romans their skulls, crania, looked as red as the cranberry that the natives ate. So, the Romans called this red berry, the cranberry.

5) I almost forgot, a Roman chef, Quintus Cato, looked at the cranberry sauce in his mason jar and thought, “The mason jar is much taller than it’s wide. Is it possible to build like that as well?” He wrote of this idea to his pal, Emperor Vespasian of Rome. The energetic Emperor immediately ordered construction of the Colosseum, so named because it’s colossal in size. Now you know

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

We Are Calling You

Posted on August 24, 2021 by pauldelancey

Surely, this has happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Simplify Tic Tac Toe

Posted on July 12, 2021 by pauldelancey

Tic tac toe takes too long. And that’s when the players use a time clock. Moreover if both players, play correctly, the game will always end in a tie. Where’s the fun in that?

I have a brilliant idea.

Make the tic-tac-toe game consist of one box and one box only.

This breakthrough will make the game faster. The first player has only box to put his x.

This first player will always win, no more dreary ties.

I show to the right a simulated game of New Tic Tac Toe. It has an elegant simplicity to it, don’t you think?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor, observations, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Motivational Posters 8 & 9 – Stop the Spread

Posted on July 9, 2021 by pauldelancey

America is facing two health crises, Covid-19 and obesity. We need all the resources we can get to put the epidemic and obesity behind us. The question we should all ask ourselves is, “What can I do to free up time to fight these assaults on our health?”

Here is my contribution.

I am using the same slogan for a poster on covid AND a for a poster on obesity.

People no longer have the memorize two slogans. That freed up brain space can be used to develop a better cure for Covid or to come up with an easier to follow diet. Or they can poster another picture of a kitten on Facebook(tm). Either way our lives have been made better.

Here, then, are my motivational posters.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor, motivational | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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