Monthly Archives: November 2024

Goofy Man on Being Weird

Serious projects need a serious mindset. Having fun, however, requires being weird.

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Goofy Man #5

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: goofy man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pumpkin Milkshake

American Dessert

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PUMPKIN MILKSHAKE

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INGREDIENTS
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3 graham crackers*
1¼ cups milk
3½ teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 cup pumpkin puree
3 cups vanilla ice cream
whipped cream (optional, or is it?)
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* = I’ve seen the amounts called different things. Here, a graham cracker is the entire individual rectangle that you pull out of the graham-cracker bag.
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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electric blender
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Serves 4. Takes 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to electric blender. Blend using milkshake, or middle, setting until well blended. Top to your heart’s content with whipped cream.
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TIDBITS
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1) Gasoline is incredibly popular. Every single day, millions and millions pull to the gas pump to fill up their cars.
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2) Pumpkin Milkshakes rival gasoline in popularity. In fact, there remains a colossal, untapped thirst across the width and breadth of this great land this soothing beverage.
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3) Indeed, Pumpkin Heaven(tm) has been monitory this pent up demand, merely waiting for sufficient capital to grow.
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4) And for many years now, Tiny Rhombus Oil(tm) has waited impatiently to expand, to take its place along the big boys, aka the Boys of Gas. So it was inevitable that the two companies would merge.
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5) As Tiny Rhombus Oil’s CEO, Carl La Fong said, “We’re proud to announce the inclusion of Pumpkin Heaven’s pumpkin milkshake to our gas pumps. Yes, we’re now able to service your motoring and dessert beverage needs. And oh,  don’t worry, gas and pumpkin milkshake will have their own separate nozzles. Thank you.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Carl La Fong, cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thanksgiving Dinner

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. This will be a relatively short post as I slept rather poorly last night and I am tired from the effort of so much cooking.

I made brined turkey breast, cranberry sauce, gravy, dinner rolls, creamy garlic mashed potatoes, pumpkin pies, and whipped cream. Number Two Son made stuffing. I’ll try to make pumpkin milk shakes tomorrow. No other cooking tomorrow as there are lots of leftovers. Again, best wishes to everyone.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, my life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Busy, Busy Day

Woke up. Fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Then I left the Beatles’ song to have a much need massage. It went for an hour and my muscles must have been super tight as the masseuse worked hard on me. I almost said, “Stop.” I’ve said that maybe once in my many years of physical therapy. Then I helped my friend got her prescription. I then did about 90 minutes of latch hooking, which is part of my eye therapy. Did about 90 minutes of driving.

Back home I did finances, ground spices, cleaned some in the kitchen. I am now making two pumpkin pies.

Gosh my back hurts.

In case I get too busy tomorrow:

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase – Stepping In

Who doesn’t like parties? Finally, you have an exuse to step out in style. Parties also have scrumptious food. The host usually owns the cutest cats and dogs. The other guests look magnificent in their tuxedos and designer gowns.

Uh oh, there’s the rub. This fancy evening wear always comes with people inside them. They come with extroverts inside. Extroverts expect you to talk back to them about  mind numbing topics such as finance, algebra, or French senate debates. Oof. And they have no respect, no respect at all, for your personal space which is a modest twenty feet.

We need a  phrase for this dressing up versus parties angst.

And now we have.

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Stepping In

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Awesome entry #54

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary: Today’s Phrase – Pantry Raid

Life changes as we get older. Things that once thrilled you, now leave you unmoved. The panty raids of your frat-house days exist only in memory. You find yourself wanting a slower, more self-indulgent pursuit.

If only there were  a phrase more suited to the hungrier and sedater you.

And now there is:

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Pantry Raid

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Awesome entry #53

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay, wise words | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Zereshk Polo Morgh (Barberry Rice Chicken)

Persian Entree

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ZERESHK POLO MORGH

(Barberry Rice Chicken)

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INGREDIENTS – SAFFRON BLOOM
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½ teaspoon saffron threads
⅓ cup hot water
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INGREDIENTS – CHICKEN
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1 large onion
½ red bell pepper
3 pounds bone-in chicken pieces (breast, thighs, or legs)
2 teaspoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 4 more tablespoons later)
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon turmeric
2 tablespoons butter
1½ tablespoons olive oil (3 tablespoons more later)
1 tablespoon olive oil (2 tablespoons more later)
¾ teaspoon advieh* (Persian spice mix) or coriander
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation, 2 more tablespoons later)
1⅔ cups water
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INGREDIENTS – BARBERRY RICE
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1 cup dried barberries*
1⅔ cups long-grain rice or basmati rice
2 tablespoons saffron bloom (obtained below in preparation)
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
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* = May be obtained at Middle Eastern supermarkets or online.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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Dutch oven
rice cooker
colander
4 ramekins or cups
sonic obliterator
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Serves 4. Takes 2 hours.
PREPARATION – SAFFRON BLOOM
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Add saffron threads to 1st small mixing bowl. Use fingers to crush saffron threads. Add crushed saffron to small bowl. Pour ⅓ cup hot water on crushed saffron. Let steep for 10 minutes or until liquid turns deep orange.
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PREPARATION – CHICKEN
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Dice onion and red bell pepper. Add chicken pieces, 2 teaspoons saffron bloom, pepper, salt, and turmeric to large mixing bowl. Turn chicken parts over until thoroughly coated. Marinate in refrigerator for 20 minutes. Add marinated chicken, 2 tablespoons butter, and 1½ tablespoons olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté for 10 minutes at medium-high heat or until chicken turns golden brown. Stir and flip occasionally . Remove chicken and set aside. (Keep remaining olive oil in Dutch oven..)
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Add 1 tablespoon olive oil, diced bell pepper, onion, and advieh to Dutch oven. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato paste. Sauté at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir constantly.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom and 1⅔ cups water to Dutch oven. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add back the set-aside chicken. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 45 minutes or until chicken pieces become tender.
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PREPARATION – BARBERRY RICE
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While chicken simmers, While barberries sit, rinse rice in colander. Add rice to rice cooker. Cook rice according to instructions that come with rice cooker or on rice package. (You might need to cook in batches.) Add barberries to 2nd small mixing bowl. Add enough water to cover. Let sit for 15 minutes. Drain barberries in colander.
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Add 2 tablespoons saffron bloom to the barberries in the 2nd small mixing bowl. Mix with spatula or spoon until barberries become well coated. Add 1 tablespoon butter and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at low-medium heat for 2 minutes or until barberries swell. Stir frequently.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Fluff rice with fork. Add rice and sautéed barberries to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Fill ramekins with sauce from Dutch oven. Add a chicken to each guest’s plate. Place barberry rice next to chicken. Set ramekin next to chicken and rice. By all means, use your sonic obliterator on any oaf who gives you guff, any guff at all, about this creation of yours or if he arrives to dining table more than two minutes late.
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TIDBITS
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1) What if a man comes running toward you yelling, “Zeresk polo morgh?” Your frantic brain might think he’s saying, “I want to bury you in zucchinis.” That’s terrifying. Now if you know he’s saying “Barberry rice chicken,” you’d be less frightened. Okay, a man charging you shouting, “Barberry rice chicken” is still intimidating. Best to run away, but not as fast as when he wanted to bury you in zucchinis. So, never shout your country’s entrees while running toward someone or not.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase – Droney Man

How many times has this happened to you? You’re at a lecture in college. You barely care about the subject, but you vow to endure the professor’s monotonic delivery. Will he ever stop? Many years later, you wonder if he ever did. Maybe you spontaneously teleported away while in a deep stupor. My gosh, how he droned droned on.

We need a word for this sort of man.

And now there is:

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Droney Man

 

Awesome entry #52 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay, Plato | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word – Finspeak

I’m not making up the following finspeak. I earned my doctorate in International Economics and yes, such utterances make my brain hurt and my teeth itch.

We need a word for this gobbledigook.

And now there is:

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

Finspeak

 

Awesome entry #51

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yoga Instructor on Revolutions

Stalin did not practice yoga. Hitler never went to yoga classes. Mao Tse Tung avoided yoga altogether.

Yoga Instructor #17

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: yoga instructor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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