Monthly Archives: December 2021

Cardamom Cookies

Posted on December 11, 2021 by pauldelancey

Afghan Dessert

CARDAMOM COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

¼ cup shelled pistachios (36 more later)
2¾ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ tablespoon cardamom
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
⅔ cup vegetable oil
⅓ cup butter, softened
2¼ teaspoons rose water, orange water, or lemon
no-stick spray
36 shelled pistachios (1 for each cookie)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

spice grinder
electric beater
cookie sheet

Makes 36 cookies. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Use spice grinder on ¼ cup shelled pistachios until you get little bits. Add flour, baking powder, cardamom, and confectioners’ sugar to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until well blended.

Add oil to pan. Warm oil using low-medium heat for 90 seconds. Gradually blend in oil to mixing bowl with beater set to low. Gradually add in butter with beater still set to low. Add rose water. Blend for 5 minutes with beater set to medium or until you get dough.

Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Form dough into 1″ balls on cookie sheet. Don’t let them touch each other. Make imprint in middle of dough balls with thumb. (Hold sides of cookie as you do. This prevents the cookie from crumbling.) Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or until cookies are crumbly, start to crack, and are just starting to brown around the edges. Sprinkle pistachio bits over cookies. Gently push a shelled pistachio into the imprint of each cookie. (Hold sides of cookie as you do. This prevents the cookie from crumbling.)

TIDBITS

1) Cardamom cookies are fun looking. See them in the picture above playing “Guess the herb.” There is no rule against the cookies bringing books on herbs. Cardamom cookies can’t read. Can other cookies read? I don’t think so and and anyway, they’re not talking.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Stand Upside Down

Posted on December 10, 2021 by pauldelancey

If you wish to stand upside down, you must move to Australia or to another country in the Southern Hemisphere. The following two photos prove that people there stand upside down.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jane the Judgmental Cat: Why Aren’t You Working?

Posted on December 9, 2021 by pauldelancey

Jane the Judgmental Cat says, “I know I’m beautiful, but if you’re looking at me, you’re not working. Why aren’t you working? Get back to work.”

Jane

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Jane the Judgmental Cat | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Meatball in Pasta Nest

Posted on December 8, 2021 by pauldelancey

Italian Appetizer

MEATBALL IN PASTA NEST

INGREDIENTS

6 Italian pasta nests*
6 premade meatballs
9 tablespoons Alfredo sauce
½ teaspoon Italian seasoning
1½ cups mozzarella cheese
2 teaspoons parsley

* = Found in supermarkets with a large pasta section or online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

sonic obliterator, how have you gone so long without one

Serves 6. Takes 20-to-40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook pasta nests according to instructions on package. Cook meatballs according to instruction on package Place nests on plate. The nests might need some gentle reshaping to look like a nest again.
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Spoon an equal amount of Alfredo sauce into the middle of each nest. Place a meatball in center of each pasta nest. Sprinkle an equal amount of Italian seasoning over each meatball.

Add mozzarella to pan. Heat at medium heat until it becomes gooey. Spoon 1/6th of the mozzarella over each meatball. You might need to reshape the mozzarella so that it totally covers the meatball and not much else.

Sprinkle an equal amount of parsley over each egg. The whole thing should look like a speckled, white egg in a nest. Use sonic obliterator to zap any oafish guest who says your cheese-covered meatball doesn’t really look like an egg. You don’t need negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The photo for this recipe is a Rorschach test.

2) Do you see a bird’s egg or only a meatball covered with Alfredo sauce?

3) Or did you see a space alien with two small eyes, one large pointy ear, a big nose, a slightly open mouth, a shoulder, part of a chest, and a glorious mass of tangled blond hair? Me neither.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lorna Dune – Hollywood Blockbuster

Posted on December 7, 2021 by pauldelancey

Do you love movies? Do you jump for joy when Hollywood updates old classics? If so, you’ll need to see:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Need to See a Laughing Puppy and Toddler

Posted on December 6, 2021 by pauldelancey

 

Seeing cute things make us smile. They make us happy. Laughter is contagious, which is good because it’s great at relieving stress. Watching toddlers makes us happy. Looking at puppies lightens our souls. So, this photo of a laughing puppy and little girl should make your day. You are now immune from sadness for sixteen hours.

Have a great day.

Therapists busy at work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Kunde

Posted on December 5, 2021 by pauldelancey

Kenyan Entree

KUNDE

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rice
1 medium onion
2 tomatoes
½ cup unsalted peanuts or ¼ cup creamy peanut butter
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ teaspoon coriander
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon salt
1½ pounds black-eyed peas, cooked and drained
½ cup water

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor or coffee grinder

Serves 4. Takes 25 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package. Mince onion. Dice tomatoes. Grind peanuts in food processor until you get a paste. Add oil and onion to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Sur frequently. Add coriander and turmeric. Cook for 1 minute or until fragrant. Stir constantly.

Add tomato and salt. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 5 minutes or until liquid disappears. Stir frequently. Lightly mash black-eyed peas with a fork. Add peanut paste, black-eyed peas, and water. Bring to boil at high heat. Reduce temperature to low medium. Simmer for 5 minutes or until dish gets to the consistency of a stew. Stir enough to prevent burning. Serve over rice.

TIDBITS

1) Really ancient humans worshiped the Sun as a god. They could have adored the potato instead. But they didn’t. Not many peoples even had potatoes. So, it never occurred to these tribes to worship the mighty spud. It’s just like wanting to eat lutefisk when you’ve never heard of it. You wouldn’t want to; it’s horrible. Not enough half-centuries have gone by before I’ll eat lutefisk again.

2) Anyway, the Rohohoe tribe, prehistoric Kenyans, had the Sun and they worshiped it. After much discussion, the religious leaders decided that the best way to worship Sun was to make an entree out of: rice, onion, tomatoes, peanuts, veggie oil, coriander, turmeric, salt, black-eyed peas, and water. The brownish mix of ingredients in the middle represents the Sun and the rice, its rays. There.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fun Festivals – Poutine

Posted on December 4, 2021 by pauldelancey

Looking for something to do after your significant other combusted? Then make your way to the Poutine Festival in Drummondville, Quebec.* Poutine, perhaps Quebec’s most famous dish, consists of French fries, beef gravy, and cheese curds or mozzarella. Listen to wonderful music while tasting caloric culinary greatness. Heart specialists are standing by.

This year’s festivities occurred from September 2 to 4. So, you missed it unless, of course, you have a time machine. If history is anything to go by, next year’s excitement will take place anytime from July to September. Keep checking, because 2021’s event only allowed 1,500 festivalgoers per day.

The highlight of the event is seeing which poutinier food truck will win the coveted Gold Fork for making the festival’s best poutine. See if you agree with the judges by sampling as many poutiniers as you can. It’ll be an experience you’ll long remember.

Reflect for a moment that this festival honors poutine. Ah, poutine. Tasty.

The festival is also called la Festival de la Poutine for those who only speak French.

* = Well, 1 hour 15 minutes from the city.

Again, there will many exciting musical groups to hear. I don’t recognize any of them, but I’m not up on my acts from Quebec. The winner of the 2020 Francouvertes attended this latest festival. What is a Francouverte? I don’t know. My imperfect French tells me it means “Green French Thing” or maybe “Open French.” Google translate(tm) is no help at all. It translates “francouverte” as “francocouverte.” However, winning the Francovertes is probably a good thing.

Go there next year and find out what a francouverte is. Please, let me know. And eat lots of poutine. It’s really, really good.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Circumnavigate the Earth

Posted on December 3, 2021 by pauldelancey

Paul De Lancey, circumnavigating

On September 8, 1519, Ferdinand Magellan and 238 seamen of various ranks left Spain to circumnavigate the Earth. It was a long ocean voyage! Just over two years. Only 30 of the 239 returned home. Then out of those 30, twelve had spent some in a Cape Verde prison.

We can draw two conclusion from this.

1) You are more likely to survive sailing around the world if you go to prison en route.

Survival rate, no prison sentence = 7.9% (18 sailors out of 227)

Survival rate, prison sentence = 100% (12 sailors of 12)

Noting this, NASA plans to equip all long-range spaceships with prisons.

2) It takes a lot of time and a lot of people dying just to get back to the spot where you started. I mean, what the heck?  If getting back to the same spot is circumnavigating, then I’m doing it right now. And no one’s dying, either.

You too can go around the world. Just stand still and say, “I’ve gone around the world.”

Congratulations, you world traveler, you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quinoa Api

Posted on December 2, 2021 by pauldelancey

Bolivian Breakfast

QUINOA API

INGREDIENTS

1¼ cups quinoa
2¾ cups milk
2⅔ cups water
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon honey
2½ tablespoons sugar
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

fine-mesh colander

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse quinoa in colander. Add quinoa and 2⅔ cups water to pot. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir enough to keep quinoa from burning. Add milk. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir constantly Reduce heat to low. Add cinnamon stick, honey, sugar, and vanilla extract. Simmer for 35 minutes or until mixture thickens and quinoa cracks open. Stir enough to keep milk and quinoa from burning. Remove cinnamon stick. Serves in bowls.

TIDBITS

1) According to Colombian culinary mythology, quinoa was given us 7,123.26 years ago by the condor god, Yclept.. Yclept also gave them the secret of planting and harvesting, thus freeing the Andean people from hunter gathering. Hunter gathering is much the same thing as driving around from one supermarket to another looking for mocha creamer for your coffee.

2) But with Ycelpt’s help, the Andeans always had quinoa, a great source of nutrition, right at home. This is like winning a refrigerator at a raffle. But there’s more. You open the fridge to see dozens of coffee mocha creamer bottles inside. You are freed, freed I tell you, from searching dispiritedly all over town for coffee mocha creamers.

3) So in gratitude, the Andeans switched from worshiping, Qi the god of hunter gathering to Yclept. Since quinoa looks like the stars, the Andeans worshiped them. This ticked off Qi, who tried to blot out the stars with milk. “Na, na, na, poo, poo,” said Yclept. “You didn’t throw enough milk. You only tossed enough to make the Milky Way.”

4) Yclept was right. We can still see the stars. Whew! We can still spot the Milky way. But we humans eventually got an immensely popular candy bar out of it. The Milky Way gave the Andeans the idea for this Quinoa Api. It just shows you how good things can come out of a god’s tantrum.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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