Posts Tagged With: Tex-Mex

Loaded Nachos

Tex-Mex Appetizer

LOADED NACHOS

INGREDIENTS

1¼ pounds ground beef
½ teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 16-ounce* can refried beans
½ cup warm water
½ pound yellow tortilla chips
3 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar, Monterey Jack, four-Mexican cheeses, or combination)
3 green onions
1 avocado
1 jalapeno pepper
½ cup black olives, drained and chopped** (optional)
½ cup sour cream
1 cup salsa or pico de gallo

* = It might be hard to get exactly one pound. Manufacturers of canned are notorious for gradually shrinking the sizes of their products. It’s much easier for them to make money by shrinking sizes than by raising prizes. Boo.

** = Some people love black olives. Others hate it. Are our special forces forcing olives on prisoners to make them spill important information? It’s hard to say; no one’s talking.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

baking sheet
aluminum foil

Serves 12, 6 if served as an entree. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Add ground beef, chili powder, cumin, and pepper to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Add ground beef to skillet. Cook for 5 minutes at medium heat or until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally. Drain grease. Add beans and water. Stir until well blended.

Line baking sheet with aluminum foil. Spread tortilla chips evenly over foil. Sprinkle tortilla chips with grated cheese. Top tortilla chips evenly with ground beef/bean mixture. Bake for 5 minutes at 350 degrees or until cheese melts and starts to brown. While nachos bake, dice green onions. Seed and dice avocado and jalapeno pepper. Remove sheet from oven. Top nachos evenly with sour cream, avocado, green onion, salsa, and jalapeno.

TIDBITS

1) Sometimes great inventions take place slowly. Here, progress occurs only after much brainstorming and experimentation. Such is the case of heavier-than-air flight. Your flight to see your Aunt Minnie most likely took place in a heavier-than-air jet. BoeingTM and AirbusTM have manufactured thousands of heavier-than air passenger planes.

2) Some inventions, like nachos, happen in a day.

3) Señor Ignacio Anaya opened up his restaurant, “Victory Club”, one fine morning in 1940, little dreaming that was destined for greatness and that he would change the trajectory of humanity forever.

4) A regular customer–We know her name! Her name was Mamie Finan, oh dear lady, blessed by fate!–came into his Anaya’s establishment. She had three female friends with her. This quartet had crossed the border from Eagle Pass, Texas to do some shopping in Piedras Negras, Coahuilla and had gotten quick peckish.

5) “Senor,” said Ms. Finan, “we’d like to try something different today. Would you be a dear and make us a totally new snack?”

6) The worthy restauranteur went to the kitchen. What to make? What to make? He saw freshly made tortillas. Then the culinary gods struck Anaya’s brow with cosmic inspiration. He fried those tortillas and cut them into triangles. He topped the triangles with shredded Colby cheese. He quickly heated the cheese-topped tortilla triangles. Anaya was on a roll. Adding sliced jalapeño pepper provided the crowning touch to his ground-breaking pièce de résistance.

7) Mamie Finan dubbed this culinary wonder, “Nacho’s Special.”

8) Why? Because Señor Anaya’s first name was Ignacio. The nickname for Ignacio in Mexico is Nacho. But the dish didn’t have be called ‘nachos.” It could have just as easily been named one of the following:

anayas – from the restaurateur’s last name
mamies – from Ms. Finan’s first name
finans – from her last name
victory clubs – from the name of the restaurant
piedro negrans – from the name of the town
coahuillans – from the name of the province
or evan
piedro negrans coahuillans

But I think we all agree that Nachos was the best choice.

10) Other dishes are named after people as well. Some of these culinary delights are:
Napoleons – named after the French emperor Napoleon.
beef Wellingon – named the English general who defeated Napoleon
franks – named after Frank. We don’t know he last name because he never routed any enemy army.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tex Mex T Rex

Cretaceous Entree

TEX MEX T REX

INGREDIENTSTRex-

1 medium tyrannosaurus rex
300 garlic cloves
1,500 medium yellow onions
2,999 jars (18 ounces) barbecue sauce
1 15 ounce bottle organic ketchup
200 pounds chili powder
100 pounds cumin
25 pounds thyme
1/4 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
40 gallons lemon juice
120 gallons Worcestershire sauce
12,000 hamburger buns

Note: Getting the amounts exact is critical. If your sums are off you just have to recount.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 time machine
1 sonic obliterator (not sold in Oregon as of publication)
1 culinary chainsaw (I recommend the Bushnell 303TM model)
1,500 crock pots
1 multi-story mixing bowl
1 24,000-hole toaster
1 deluxe surge protector

PREPARATION

Set time machine to Wednesday, June 3rd, 3 p.m., 65,403,002 B.C.. (For goodness sake, don’t push things and try to get yourself a T-Rex minutes before that giant meteorite slams into the Earth killing nearly everything. If you die in this cataclysm and don’t come back, your guests will never talk to you. You don’t need this social awkwardness.)

But it does remind me, to make Tex Mex T Rex you really need to kill a T Rex. For this job, you’ll want to get a premium sonic obliterator. One with a T-Rex rating. Don’t expect to waltz into a WalMartTM and buy the first sonic obliterator you see. You’ll be sorry. Indeed, you’ll be dead when the feeble sonic vibration from your off-the-shelves obliterator merely angers the T Rex into charging you. Always, always buy quality kitchen utensils.

Do not forget to kill the T-Rex. Be sure to slice up the T Rex into the various cuts of meat at the site and the time of the killing. This takes a long time and culinary chainsaws are noisy. You don’t want to annoy your current time, human neighbors. But in the Cretaceous period the chainsaw noise will scare off all those pesky predators who’d want to eat you. Take all your T-Rex cuts back with you. Don’t drop any. No one likes a litterbug.

Mince garlic cloves and onions. This should take no time at all as you have a time machine. Put T-Rex bits in crock pots. Add garlic, onion, barbecue sauce, organic ketchup, chili powder, cumin, salt, thyme, lemon juice, and Worcestershire sauce.

Set crock pots to high and cover them. Cook for 6 hours or until meat is tender. Remove T-Rex meat. Shred meat and return meat to crock pots for 30 minutes. Toast buns. Serve meat on buns. Note, this is a big meal. May I suggest serving it picnic style with plastic utensils and cardboard plates?

TIDBITS

1) Until the invention of the time machine, Cretaceous cuisine was impossible,

2) We have, of course, always had Cretan cuisine. However, food from the island of Crete is usually considered to be indistinguishable from the rest of Greek cuisine.

3) However, things would change dramatically if a Cretan restaurateur were to successfully transport T-Rex meat back to the current time. Crowds would certainly flock to Kronos’ Cretan Cretaceous Crudités.

4) This development would certainly provide a challenge to the Tex Mex T Rex cuisine of southwest Texas.

5) As of press time, 43% of all Tex Mex T Rex sandwiches are served in El Paso, Texas.

6) There are lots of non-culinary things to do in El Paso, Texas.

7) Be sure to take in the town’s T-Rex processing plant. Tours cost $20 person if you book now. However, the cost conscious can always go back in time, deposit a dollar in the bank, and gather enough interest to pay for the tour.

8) For an alternative experience, go to Hueco Tanks State Park and scale its huge boulders.

9) Those in your group who survive this experience will want to take in the Museum of Art and see American and Mexican colonial art.

10) Stargazing is quite popular here, especially at night.

11) So is sleeping.

12) Pleasant dreams.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fish-Stick Fajitas

Mexican Entree

FISH-STICK FAJITAS

INGREDIENTS

12 fish frozen sticks
2 garlic cloves
1 medium white onion
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon Seafood MagicTM spice
6 small flour tortillas
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses

UTENSILS

No-stick frying pan
A lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.

PREPARATION

Cook fish sticks according to instructions on package. Use food processor to mince garlic cloves. Use knife to slice the onion and all bell peppers into rings. Then cut rings into fourths.

Pour vegetable oil and lime juice into no-stick frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat. Saute one at a time the following ingredients: onion, green bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and red bell pepper. (Saute means to leap in French. You will leap too if the oil gets on you. Always be careful.) Put each ingredient in its own bowl. Put bowls on lazy Susan, again if you have one. Add more vegetable oil and lime juice if you run out while sauteing all the ingredients.

Whisk together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, and Seafood spice. Apportion equally over the onion and bell-pepper bowls. Put an equal amount of TabascoTM sauce, about two drops in each bowl.

Heat each tortilla in microwave for 12 seconds. Put a tortilla with 2 fish sticks on each plate. Let the guests take as much of the onions and bell peppers as desired.

TIDBITS

1) Many believe Sonny Falcon operated the first fajita stand in Texas in 1969.

2) The word “fajita” entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 1971. Way to go, Falcon.

3) So, fajitas are not technically Mexican, but Tex-Mex.

4) TabascoTM sauce is not Mexican either. It comes from Avery Island in Louisiana and is used extensively in Cajun food.

5) The TabascoTM company was formed by the McIlhenny family, presumably not Mexicans, in 1868.

6) Mr. McIlhenny’s first instinct was to name it “Petite Anse Sauce,” but everyone else objected. Good for them.

7) Before 1863, the family made its fortune from the salt mines on Avery Island. However, in that year, Union soldiers destroyed the mines, leaving only a crop of hot peppers. Those peppers became the genesis of the TabascoTM company.

8) So, a lot of culinary good came out of the Civil War.

9) You should visit the TabascoTM factory on Avery Island. Don’t leave without going through the island’s Jungle Gardens, which boasts of a wonderful collection of flowers, birds, and alligators which can scoot as fast as 25 mph.

10) Only the alligators there scurry up to 25 mph. Don’t infer from the last sentence of 9) that flowers in Avery, Louisiana can move that fast. Flowers there and indeed everywhere else in that state are rather sedentary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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