Posts Tagged With: technology

You Need to Clear Your Mind

We get stressed. We have too many responsibilities. Too many things to ponder. Our mind gets pulled in more and more directions and all at once. We find ourselves performing ever shallower analysis on our projects. We shun contact with the people around us. No time.

Our brain’s ability to function decreases all the time. We have forgotten there’s no “function” without “fun.” Of course, we also can’t “function” without “ction,” but that’s a subject for a future blog.

Anyway, our minds cry to the heavens for some rest, some time off to recalibrate.

How do we do that? As they say in internet technology, “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

We will turn off our minds. We’ll do that by thinking of nothing. Nothing. Like what is shown in the rectangle below. Look inside it.

Nothing

 

If you still have troubling clearing your mind, try again while chanting, “Iggy piggy poo” over and again. You’ll be amazed how much more revitalized you will feel.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to get | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Post Tonight: Technology Stinks

I took a picture with my cell phone. I was planning to use a photo on it for today’s blog. I tried to send the picture to my computer.

But no, it was impossible. I tried different ways over a fairly large stretch of time to transmit it to my computer’s email account. The cell phone prevented me each and everytime. You might think a $400 cell phone can do basic things like this and not repeatedly butt-call people.

The cell phone designers continually boast of their super duper apps, I just want it to do a few things correctly. But all I get is more death by enhancement.

Well, I guess I typed up a post after all. If you’ll excuse, I need to bang my head against a wall.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Angry Man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Techfind

Our forefathers and foremothers tamed the wild frontiers, desserts, and ocean armed only with: grit, the five senses, and above all, single-minded determination.

The present batch of humanity is not so impressive. We can do so little using only what our creator gave us. We need inventions to accomplish anything.

But we don’t have a word to describe this behavior.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

techfind

Awesome entry #19

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Technology

 

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

You put me on hold.

What’d I ever do to you

To be put on hold?

 

ON HOLD HAIKU #2

I am still on hold.

I feel my will to live leave.

I grow old waiting.

 

SPAMMED

You spammed me again.

I want to send you to Hell,

If they’ll accept you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Avocado Soup From Colombia

Colombian Soup

AVOCADO SOUP

INGREDIENTS

2 avocados
1¼ cups heavy cream
1 garlic clove
1 small onion
1 tablespoon butter
3¼ cups chicken stock
2½ teaspoons lime juice
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup fresh cilantro

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

Serves 6. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel and seed avocados. Add avocados and heavy cream to food processor. Blend until pureed. Mince garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion and butter to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently.

Add pureed avocado, chicken stock, lime juice, cumin, pepper, and salt to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until soup is smooth. Stir frequently.

Dice cilantro. Garnish soup with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) H20 comes in three forms: steam, water, and ice. So does avocado soup. Everybody loves avocado soup. Not so much with avocado ice. In fact, putting avocado-soup cubes in guests’ whiskey or root beer riles them quite a bit. Avocado PR firms are toying with the idea of spraying avocado-soup mists outside the entrance to restaurants serving this dish.

2) Everything comes in three states. For example nearly all, I think, buildings are solid. It is good to live in a solid building. Not so much for a liquid building. However a gaseous building is easy to move. Just heat up your building until it becomes a gas and let the wind blow it to its newly desired location. Now a problem arises. As of now, it’s not possible to freeze the building back to its original shape. You will get a solid building splat. Our dreams outpace our technology.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, science | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bad Artist #26, Technology

BadArtist26

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

You put me on hold

What’d I ever do to you

To be put on hold.

 

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

I am still on hold

I feel my will to live leave.

I grow old waiting.

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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