Posts Tagged With: supermarket

What I Did Today

Posted on January 7, 2025 by pauldelancey

Augustus the Angry Avocado, leader of the pack

Got my french-fry cutter in the mail.

Went to exercise class. Felt like a Greek god who had let himself go a while back. Gosh, the arthritis in my shoulders hurts. Sometimes I have to move my arms in slow motion.

Swam to the island of Hawaii. Had a SPAM sandwich. SPAM is so, so big there. Drank a root beer in a glass that had a tiny umbrella in it.

Swam back home. How did I not get cramps? Whew.

Shopped at a supermarket. It did not have duck fat. Life is hard.

Herded some angy avocadoes back into the barn.

I  played Number Two Son in a game of Strat-O-Matic Football. He had last years Chiefs and I had last years Packers. He won 30-6.

I’m supposed to have physical therapy tomorrow morning and craft class at 1 pm. I don’t know if high winds tomorrow will cancel everything.

I’m going to check the planetary orbits of our Solar System. I’ll water some Horrible Histories and Death Valley Days after that.

Take care and have fun.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Angie the Angry Avocado on Supermarket Behavior

Posted on October 23, 2024 by pauldelancey

Angie Avocado #8

 

 

­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on August 26, 2024 by pauldelancey

Liechtenstein, a tough nut to crack

After much internal debate, I got out of bed, showered, and got dressed. Look at me, all adulty and everything.

Poked around my finances instead of taking to the street and fomenting revolution.

Make an appointment to have my ears looked at.

When shopping at the supermarket. I was planning to make a two course meal.

I decided instead to invade Leichtenstein. It did not got well.

Me: Yo ho, I’m invading your country. I’m going to rule your country.

Border Guard: No you’re not. I’ll stop you.

Me: You and what army?

Border Guard blows whistle. Three burly sorts run up to me.

Border Guard: Me and the Leichtensteinan army.

Me: Aw, man.

Border Guard: Shoo. Shoo.

So, I went home, dejected and tired. I jettisoned plans to make Cilbir (Turkish eggs with yogurt.) and made Powegian Pastrami Pepperoni wraps instead.

I’ve had a couple glasses of chocolate glasses since then and am feeling more upbeat.

I hope you behaved yourselves while I was careening around Europe.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Boyhood Baseball Hero – Lou Johnson

Posted on June 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

There have many baseball greats. One of them, Willie Mays, has quite rightly received much praise, especially recently.

But I’d like to tell you about the player who has a firm place in my heart.

He’s Lou Johnson.

He was an outfielder during the 1960s. He played in 677 games, was at at bat 2,049 times, hit 48 home runs, and had a batting average of .258.

But he was very, very nice to me.

I believe it was the summer of 1966. I lived in Arcadia, California. Southern California suffered through about six days a week of heavy smog. I could not see mountains a mere mile away. I can still feel the horrible stinging in my eyes whenever I think of that smog. I’m suffering through such a flashback as I type.

I was an Angels fan; my brother rooted for the Dodgers. And because my brother followed the Dodgers, I felt obliged to hate them. So, I felt quite unhappy when my mother said we were going to a supermarket parking lot to get a signed poster of a Dodger!

The line was long. The polluted air stung my eyes. Tears rolled down my face. I could not keep my eyes open. My mom had to lead me forward.

I don’t remember exactly what happened. But Lou Johnson noticed my distress and talked to me. I really can’t remember what he said, my eyes were in too much pain. I made the effort to get a glimpse of this wonderful man.

Oh gosh, I’m tearing up something fierce, it must be from that onion I’ll be dicing for dinner.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did the Day After Yesterday

Posted on December 16, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.2) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.

4) But didn’t go out. It’s too peoply out there.

5) Went over finances.

6)  Spent hours failing to deal with an email issue arising from a misbegotten union between Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm).

7)  Cussed a lot. Verizon, can you hear me know.

8) Worked on a family Christmas picture.

9) Wrote letters to our six sponsored children abroad. Sent them Christmas gifts.

10)  Took a long relaxing fizzy bath. I’m really clean.

11)  Read from the highly enjoyable bath book,  Mary’s Land.

12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.”

13) Noticed that the Earth was upside down.

14) Turn it rightside up again.

15) Reasoned that my hypothesis in 14) was faulty. It was only perceived to be upside down.  Many would have thought it was rightside up in the first place.

16) Thought it best to return things to their original state, by turning it downside up. Sorry, if I made you dizzy. Let this be a lesson in humility for me. On the plus side, people in both hemispheres got to see constellations they never would have otherwise.

17) Made sausages and beans for dinner.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on December 15, 2023 by pauldelancey

Sewing the Earth back together, one spool at a time

1) Woke up.

2) Got up.  The streak continues

3) Worked on finances.

4) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

5) Got dressed. Wore dress casual again.

6)  Drove to my massage therapist. Emerged feeling better.

7)  Did errands with a friend.

8) Bought food, including a ham for Christmas.

9) Drove home.

10)  Ruthlessly extirminated errors in a financial spreadsheet.

11)  Made taquitos for the natives.

12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.

13) Noticed that the Earth was coming apart.

14) Double stitched the Earth back together. It’s safe now. By the way, my grandmother was a professional seamstress.

15) Contemplated the infinite. It’s relaxing. You should try it.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did This Day

Posted on December 4, 2023 by pauldelancey

Pluto. Looks like a malt ball, doesn’t it?

1) Woke up.

2) Got up. Go me!

3) Worked on finances.

4) Showered.

5) Got dressed. The day is still early. Go me.

6) Went to the discount supermarket.

7) Got the things I needed.

8) Looked for targets of opportunity, also known as sales.

9) Put things away.

10) Organized the racks of canned drinks. Did you know that if you knock a fizzy drink to the floor, if can explode? Fizz goes everywhere, mostly onto the floor. However, a powerful jet made its way into my eye. Fortunately, thank goodness, that spray hit only the white of my eye. Even so, the pain was intense. But only for two seconds. Whew! And whew again. Thank goodness.

11) Caught up on people’s lives on Facebook(tm).

12) Made a shrimp cocktail

13) Contemplated the inequities in the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia.

8) Worked on a Thursday, New York Times(tm) crossword puzzle.

9) Read from Mary’s Land, a wonderful novel and designated bathtub book.

10) Finished fizzy bath.

11) Checked in Pluto. Resentment still festers about its demotion from planetary status. Right now, Pluto’s sadness dominates its anger. But if that changes, watch out! There’s nothing worse than an angry dwarf planet. I think I managed to talk Pluto down. It says, “Hi.”

12) Made hot dogs.

13) Finally got around to writing this blog. I had almost forgotten. Egad.

17) Sent my weekly condolences to Pluto for losing its full planetary status.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Bountiful, Versatile Pumpkin

Posted on November 3, 2023 by pauldelancey

Halloween is over. Pumpkins have been thrown in the trash bins. My local supermarket gave away its remaining pumpkins.

I was happy to take one. The pumpkin is so much more than a jack o’lantern.

With my pumpkin I was abled to cut and scoop out:

2¾ pounds of pumkin pulp (no stringy bits)
1 cup pumpkin seeds

From my pumpkin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recovered enough pulp and seeds to make the following five dishes and pumpkin shea butter soap.

 

­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bring Back the Milkman

Posted on October 23, 2023 by pauldelancey

Often enough, I only need a half gallon of milk, four sticks of butter, or a pound of cheese. Sure I could drive to the store, but it hardly seems worthwhile for just a half gallon of milk when the whole process of driving to the supermarket, parking, finding the milk, checking out, leaving the parking lot, and driving home.

If only there were a simple, convenient way to buy a small amount of dairy. Oh wait, there was. We called him the milkman. We place an order on our door step and he’d bring it from the stores of his truck.

Easy peasy.

And quite often the milkman brought other products as well. Here’s what I remember about the milkmen from the various towns of my youth.

Arcadia, California: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter.

Earlwood, Australia: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter and eggs.

Voorburg, Netherlands: The milk truck carried: milk, eggs, cheese, cans of soups, soda, and beer! I believe the milkman also delivered juice and jams.

I want a milkman who will bring all the items his counterpart in the Netherlands did. I want it! I want it!

Going to the store takes too long, cars are driven by nuts, and the stores are far too peoply.

I am willing to pay more for this service than from stores. I worked and saved all my life so I can now afford this service to my door.

Please make this happen. Thank you.

And please also let me know what your milkman delivered? Thanks again.

­­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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A Near Success

Posted on October 13, 2023 by pauldelancey

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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