Posts Tagged With: plate tectonics

Muamba Nsusu (Congolese chicken peanut soup)

Congolese Soup

MUAMBA NSUSU
(chicken peanut soup)

INGREDIENTSMuambaNsusu-

2½ pounds chicken breasts
½ teaspoon salt
1 large carrot
1 red chile
1 large yellow onion
2 tomatoes
5 cups chicken stock
¾ teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon lemon zest
¾ cup creamy peanut butter
5 ounces tomato paste
1 tablespoon red palm oil (1½ tablespoons more later)
1½ tablespoon red palm oil
⅓ cup peanuts

Makes 12 bowls. Takes about 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Rub salt onto chicken cubes. Dice carrot, chile, onion, and tomatoes. (Don’t remove seeds from chile and be sure to wash your hands afterward.) Add chicken stock, cumin, lemon zest, peanut butter, diced tomatoes, and tomato paste to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended.

Add 1 tablespoon red palm oil and chicken cubes to large pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink on outside. Stir frequently. Set aside. Add 1½ tablespoons red palm oil, carrot, chile, and onion to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. The chicken in the pot and the red palm oil/carrot/onion mix in the pan can be sautéed at the same time.

Add chicken stock/peanut butter/tomato mixture from mixing bowl to pot. Simmer on low-medium heat for 20 minutes or until the soup is well blended. Stir occasionally. Add chicken cubes to pot. Simmer for 5-to-10 minutes or until soup thickens. Garnish with peanuts.

TIDBITS

1) All chefs make the occasional mistake. It’s useful in these events to have a prepared excuse. Mine is plate tectonics. The shifting positions of the Earth’s continents made me burn those eggs. If the mistake was caused by someone ELSE, zap the offender with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your life.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Great Excuses For Late Homework

 1) Teacher, I wrote my homework on paper made of matter. While I was walking to school, my homework paper collided with homework paper made of anti-matter. Woowee! It was almost theSurlyPotatoes end of the universe. Thank goodness, it wasn’t, huh? Anyway, my homework and the anti-homework obliterated each other.

– (your name here)

2) My homework got contaminated with ebola.  Turning it in would only put you at great risk.

3) Plate tectonics, need I say more?

4) I was so tired when I did my homework that I inadvertently switched over to the ancient Incan language. Unfortunately, I don’t speak Ancient Incan, so I’ll need more time to redo it in English.

Surly potatoes

5) Lutefisk vendors moved into the neighborhood. Things got ugly.

6) I wrote my homework on edible paper. Then the dog ate it.

7) The dog ralphed the homework back up, but I figured you wanted something with clean, attractive margins.

8) My homework was erased from the hard drive by the NSA before I could print it out.

11) I took a shortcut to school through Boko Haram territory and they burned my homework in hatred for all Western teaching.

12) I got depressed over Sweden’s treatment in the Treaty of Westphalia in 1648.

13) I’m living backward in time like Benjamin Button. I just haven’t unwritten it yet.

14) The mysterious forces that take single socks from the clothes dryer have switched to taking my homework.

15) Spontaneous combustion. Hoo boy! Good thing it didn’t happen while you were grading it.

16) I wrote it on ancient papyrus. London’s Museum of Egyptology wanted the papyrus back.

17) My homework got sucked into a black hole that’s parked outside my front door. Come in through the back if you want to speak to my parents.

18)  There were surly potatoes between me and my homework.

– Paul R. De Lancey, friend of students everywhere.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Costa Rican Pork Casado

Costa Rican Entree

PORK CASADO

INGREDIENTSCasado-

8 tablespoons orange juice
4 tablespoons orange zest
2 teaspoons garlic salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin

¼ head cabbage
1 small carrot
1 small tomato
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

1 cup basmati or white rice
1 onion (1 additional onion later)
2 red bell peppers
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (5 additional tablespoons later)

2 plantains
5 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 onion
4 pork loins

1 15-ounce can black beans

PREPARATION MARINADE

Coat pork loins throughly in orange juice, orange zest, garlic salt, chili powder, and cumin.. Let marinate for 30 minutes. Keep marinade.

PREPARATION – SALAD

Shred cabbage. Dice carrot and tomato. Add cabbage, carrot, tomato, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with fork.

PREPARATION – RICE

Add rice to pot. Cook rice according to instructions on package. While rice cooks, mince 1 onion and red bell peppers. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Keep rice and onion/bell pepper mix warm.

PREPARATION – PLANTAINS

Peel plantains. Slice plantains in half lengthwise. Add 5 tablespoons vegetable oil and plantain to pan. Sauté on medium heat for 5 minutes or until plantains become tender and turn golden brown. Drain and keep warm.

PREPARATION – PORK

Cut onion into four slices. Grill onion and pork loins on barbecue grill at high or 450 degrees. Grill onions for 10 minutes or until they start to char. Turn them over once. Grill pork for 20 minutes or until it is cooked through (white inside) or starts to brown. Turn over every 5 minutes. Brush with marinade each time.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Put beans in pot. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes or until sauce begins to bubble. Add pork to plate with grilled onion slice on top. Add rice to side and top with onion/red pepper mix. Add 2 plantains to the side. (Lots of sides, aren’t there?) Add cabbage to a remaining spot on plate and top with carrot and tomato.

(snarky comment. ☜ Weeks later: I was interrupted by a melee in the house, plate tectonics, or something, so I typed “snarky comment” as a place filler. Clearly, I had hoped to come back in a jiffy with a brilliant thought intact. However, my brilliance was as fleeting as the perfect ripeness of an avocado. So let this be a cautionary tale to everyone; write down your thoughts if you suspect a bout of plate tectonics coming on.)

Enjoy!

TIDBITS

1) This recipe is made with orange zest. As far as I know there are no movies titles with the word zest in them.

3) But there is a classic movie called “Lust for Life” starring Kirk Douglas and Anthony Quinn. It’s about the life of Vincent Van Gogh.

4) Van Gogh was an artist. So am I. I had a vase displayed in the Gemente Museum in the The Hague, Netherlands.

5) I am much more into cooking now. The upcoming movie about my life is likely to be called, “Lust for Zest.”

6) Any dish I create gets eaten.

7) You are not allowed to eat paintings in art museums, particularly so at the Louvre in Paris.

8) Not even if you bring the correct spices and wine. However, you can eat popcorn at the movies. As of press time, however, few movie theaters serve gourmet dinners and fine wine. It’s a hard world out there.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Tunisian Harissa Recipe

Tunisian Appetizer

HARISSA

Harissa-

INGREDIENTS

12 dried chile de arbol peppers or milder red chile peppers
4 garlic cloves
3/4 teaspoon caraway seeds
3/4 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil

PREPARATION

Remove stems and seeds from peppers. (Always, always wash hands after handling chile peppers.) Put peppers in bowl of hot water. (This softens and relaxes the peppers.) Remove peppers after 30 minutes. Mince peppers and garlic cloves. Combine all ingredients in bowl.

Store in refrigerator for up to one month. This is one tough condiment.

TIDBITS

1) Caraway seeds reduce flatulence.

2) Moving quickly on, the word Tunisia comes from Tunis, the country’s capital, not the fish, tuna.

3) It’s a fact, Germany was never called Hamburgeria after its import port city of Hamburg.

4) The burg Hamburg is not named after ham. Ham is an English word. Hamburg is still in Germany and is likely to remain that way.

5) Unless of course, the movement of the Earth’s plates increase to such a phenomenal pace that Hamburg ends up being next to Boston sometime by press time for this book.

6) I would like to point out that if the Earth’s plates do move that fast there will be immense worldwide devastation. Book signings will be difficult to schedule.

7) Surfers though would have a great time. Those fast moving continents would generate tons of primo waves. Cowabunga, dude.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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