Posts Tagged With: parties

I Wish You a Happy New Year

I don my metaphorical armor as last year could have been a lot better; I’m looking a you, The Summer That Sucked where I was sick the whole. I’m also aprehensive about nation’s future.

But this is a time to wish great things to your loved ones, your friends, and all the other good people of the world. Evil sorts, such as the one who gave me Covid, can just suck eggs for the next twelve months.

For all good people, I wish  you a year of the following good things:

1)  health
2) tacos
3) tasty, yet healthy, doughnuts
4) Full employment or full retirement, your choice
5) Self-cleaning dishes
6) finding salt pork at the first supermarket you visit
7) true love and true friendshio
8) Not being a victim of crime
9) fun and safe drivng
10) sales on tortillas
11) cheap eggs
12) reuniting with loved ones and lost friends
13) steaks cooked exactly to your liking
14) peace in your neighborhood and in the world
15) success in at least one endeavour, no matter how small as long as it makes your proud of yourself
16) finding a new and comfy pair of shoes on the first try
17) perfectly home cooked meals everytime.
18) Many great parties if you’re an extrovert and many non-mandatory parties if you’re an introvert
19) Waking up refreshed everytime.
20) the ability to fold fitted sheets
21) All sorts of good tv shows and movies to watch
22) writing a best seller
23) consistent Capitalization
24) a wonderful vacation
25) friendship with cats and dogs
26) healthy air-fried Twinkies
27) an uplifting conversation with a guy named Ralph
28) No paper cuts except for your enemies
29) you master the health-care system
30) catching almost no red lights
31) picking the right line when waiting for something
32) your fitted sheet never comes off a mattress corner while you try to get to sleep
33) ability in directing your spam mail to your worst enemy
34) cheese
35) your typos magically disappear as soon as you type them
36) and all sorts of other good things
37) finding your car keys right away, even when you’re pressed for time

Happy New Year

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase – Stepping In

Who doesn’t like parties? Finally, you have an exuse to step out in style. Parties also have scrumptious food. The host usually owns the cutest cats and dogs. The other guests look magnificent in their tuxedos and designer gowns.

Uh oh, there’s the rub. This fancy evening wear always comes with people inside them. They come with extroverts inside. Extroverts expect you to talk back to them about  mind numbing topics such as finance, algebra, or French senate debates. Oof. And they have no respect, no respect at all, for your personal space which is a modest twenty feet.

We need a  phrase for this dressing up versus parties angst.

And now we have.

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Stepping In

­

Awesome entry #54

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Things Faster Than Plate Tectonics

Watch Earth’s plates separate.

And they are:

1) The wait in an urgent care’s waiting room on a Tuesday morning after Labor Day. 2,700 people were there 15 minutes after opening. (All the people who would have gone on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday stampeded the facility today.)

2) Road repair. (The jury’s out on this one, but I suspect plate tectonics is a little slower.)

3) Watching a foreign move because your good looking date wanted to.

4) The line at the DMV.

5) Red lights. (There’s always a direction of traffic that gets massively favored and one that gets screwed.)

6) Any line when you have a bad back.

7) Reading the last 200 pages of War and Peace. (Again, another close call.)

8) Parties where you are the only introvert, don’t know anyone, and have no ride home.

9) And there are no snacks to eat and no animals to pet.

10) Recovering from Covid.

11) Watching a pot of water and waiting for it to boil.

12) Games of Risk(tm), Uno(tm), and Monopoly(tm).

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Tuluk From Vanuatu

Vanuatuan Entree

TULUK

INGREDIENTS

1 cassava root (Also known as manioc or yucca)
1 garlic clove
1 green onion
1 small yellow onion
¾ cup coconut milk
⅓ pound ground pork
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
2 banana leaves

SPECIAL UTENSILS

grater
double boiler
toothpicks, if necessary
sonic obliterator

Serves 8. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel and grate cassava root. Dice garlic, green onion, and yellow onion. Add, coconut milk, garlic, green onion, and yellow onion to pan. Cook at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Add pork, pepper, and salt. Lower heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until milk has been absorbed. Stir enough to prevent burning.

While pork simmers, cut banana leaves into 10″-to-12″ squares. Run hot water over leaf squares. This will make them easier to roll up. Add 2 tablespoons of cassava to center-bottom of banana square. Gently flatten cassava, leaving a depression in middle

Put 2 tablespoons ground pork in cassava depression. Cover pork with an additional 2 tablespoons of cassava. Gently flatten cassava a bit. Fold in edges of leaf square. Slowly but firmly roll up banana square. This will be a tuluk. Repeat until all cassava, pork, or banana squares are used up.

Add water to bottom part of double boiler until it is 1″ from where top part of double boiler will be. Add tuluks, open side down. Use toothpicks if necessary to keep banana coverings in place. Pute tuluks next to each other. Put lid on. Bring water to boil. Reduce to low and steam for 1 hour or until the outer cassava of the tuluk is firm. (Check about 40 minutes into this hours to see the bottom will need more water. If there’s no water left, the tuluks won’t steam as well and you’ll burn your pot.) Serve to appreciative guests. Zap uncouth complainers with sonic obliterator. You don’t need negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) Do you hate to go to parties? If forced to go, do you find yourself gravitating to the meatballs, shrimp cocktails, and Tuluks? Do you do this because you don’t know what to say, that the other guests will find you boring?

2) Well be shy now longer. Everybody loves a good joke about the ever so tasty Tuluk. Simply recite Tuluk jokes from this magnificent book. Soon, a crowd of partiers will be hanging on every joke. You will be become wildly popular. And wait there’s more. The opposite sex is drawn like a moth to a flame by Tuluk-joke tellers. Be admired. Be loved. Buy 1001 Sure-Fire Tuluk Party Jokes. You’ll be glad you did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fun Festivals – Redhead Days

They’re going to Redhead Days

The Redhead Days Festival will be held this year in Tilburg, Netherlands during August 26 to 28. Be there to strut your awesome redheadness or if you’re not redheaded yourself, to absorb the sunshine emanating from so much redheads assembled in one place.

The whole thing started when painter from Asten, Bart Rouwenhorst, asked for 15 redheads to sit for portraits for an exhibition he planned to hold. However, 150 showed up. The artist took a group photo of all the gingers. So began the first Redhead Day. A humble beginning surely, but the event has grown ever since.

Oh, before I forget, January 12 is Kiss a Ginger Day. Don’t you forget, too.

40,000 people, including 6,000 redheads, attended the 2019 event. This year’s event promises to have just as many gingers and redheadophiles (well, it could a word).  People come from all over the world, from here, there, and Micronesia. Be sure to check the event’s website before you bring your clothes. Attendees all dress in the same color, which will have been decided by voting.
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The planned highlights of the three-day event include: are a dress-up contest, pub crawl, kids playground, hot tubs (not in the kids playground), food stands, cocktail workshop, BBQ, art exhibition with a red-haired theme , open stage, singing, salsa dancing, lectures, photoshoots, poetry, and cycling tours.
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Spend your days at the festival, then head to the exciting after-festival parties. There’s even a late night, redhead party at Netherland’s best known gay bar, The Lollipop. All are welcome. Book your flights and lodgings now. Go red!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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