Posts Tagged With: flags

Flags of the World – Triangles, Part Four

Posted on July 28, 2024 by pauldelancey

In Part One, we saw how geometry haters tyrannized lovers of triangles. We also discovered how geometry made better living possible. In Part Two, we learned of the terrible rivalry between circles and triangles. When, oh when, will trianglistas ever bask in the sunshine that is peace and security? Here in Part Four, we learn of the unintended side benefits that accrue to lands that incorporate triangles into its flag.

And now, the:

ROLL CALL OF FREEDOM

13. Equatorial Guinea

Here, blue stands for the bountiful ocean that laps at Equatorial Guinea’s enchanting beaches. Green stands for the nation’s green plants that grow through the miracle of photosyntheis. White represents the white blood cells that defend the citizens from nasty bacteria. Red stands for the nation’s mythical red bunnies that will protect Equatorial Guinea in times of great need. Note the small blue triangle to the left. This represents (I’m really need to look up synonyms in my Thesaurus for “represents.”) the tenuous hold the trianglistas have on this troubled land. Please send thoughts and prayers to Equatorial Guinea.

The flag’s coat of arms indicates this nation’s committment to unity, peace, and justice. The green tree in the coat of arms symbolizes green trees. These trees provide shade for picknickers. The five stars indicates the average grade-level of literacy. This is fine, as everybit of linguistic knowledge after that is only needed for specialized knowledge such as econometrics or archeology.

14. Eritrea

Eritrea fought a long war for independence. This flag clearly represents the aspirations of the trianglista revolutionaries. Eritrea’s flag contains not one, not two, but three triangles. (And three is a special number in many cultures.) The red triangles refers to tomatoes, yum, and to the land’s armed struggles for self rule and independence. The laurel wreath harkens to the one in the United Nations flag. (Note that their copyright infringement does not apply to flags.) The weird thing in the middle of the wreath symbolizes the claw prints of the reclusive mok-mok bird.

The green triangle stands for green things. The blue triangle indicates blue skies and blue waters. It’s important to note that these two triangles are orthogonal. Together with the red isoceles triangle this flag manages to incorporate just triangles into its rectangular flag. That last big is a bummer, but still an “A” for effort.

15. Guyana

This flag was chosen through public competition. Cool. More countries should try this. The color white symbolizes the nation’s waters. Aren’t oceans and lakes blue? Perhaps white is a nod to white-water rafting. Red stands for sacrifice, just like the red-shirted crews in Star Trek(tm). Black means the nation’s perservance in building a brighter future. Yellow symbolizes Guyana’s mineral deposits and egg yolks. (I need my egg yolks cooked through because of allergies.) Green refers to the land’s abundant vegetation.

Together, the yellow triangle and the white trim harken to the emblem sewn onto Star Trek uniforms. This symbolizes the nation’s desire to go boldly into the future. Best wishes, Guyana. Please note that this happy land starts with one triangle ends with two. This is as it should be.

16. Jamaica

Jamaica is the home of excellent reggae music and fantastic jerk chicken. I wish these two things could have made their way into this flag, but I suppose that would have been hard to do. Anyway, the Pan-African colors of black, green and yellow were placed around the cross of Saint Andrew. The two black triangles stand for hardships that will be overcome. Yellow symbolizes the Jamaican sun.” The two green triangles refer to this land’s beautiful greenery. And well done, Jamaica, for putting four triangles in your flag. You rock.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Equatorial Guinea, Eritrea, flags, flags of the world, Guyana, independence, Jamaica, jerk chicken, justic, peace, Saint Andrew, Sun, triangles, trianglistas, unity | Leave a comment

Flags of the World – Triangles, Part One

Posted on June 23, 2024 by pauldelancey

Few conflicts are as external as the conflict between lovers of geometry and its haters. A few other spats come close: wars of aggression, sibling rivalries, lutefisk vendors and people, spam callers and call blockers, and road repair and activity.

Geometry lovers wax rhapsodic over the ability to determine the height of a distant building without every going near it. Wow! All you need to have is a tree between you and the building and a few distances. What can be more beneficial to humanity than calculating that?

Alas, evil people, geometry haters stalk the land, people fell asleep during geometry class, people who snap after being asked to prove the Pythagorean Theorem one time too many. These people are the reason we can’t nice things. These folk constitute the hard-core unemployed. All those jobs that requiring calculating building heights, remain forever shut to them. Indeed these people find no jobs at all in the construction industry. Would you trust erecting a skyscraper to a ne’er do well who won’t measure angles? I didn’t think so.

It’s hard to spot a feral geometry hater on the street. You need to make repeated visits to people’s homes or diners. A geometry lover, GL, will often cut his cheese sandwich into two pieces diagonally. A geometry hater, GH, never.

Over the centuries, GHs took control of most countries and eliminated all traces of triangles in their nation’s flags. In these lands, GHs relentlessly persecute geometry lovers. The coup d’état remains the only way for GLs to assert their freedom. You can tell these plucky lands by the triangles in their flags.

And now, the roll call of FREEDOM

1) American Samoa

American Samoa remains firmly in the grasp of the Order of the Triangle, OT, or Overtimers as the underground resistance calls them. This wondrous land features nested triangles with a heavily armed and rather pissed-off bald eagle ever ready to defend geometric freedom.

2) Antigua and Barbuda

Oh Antigua! Oh Barbuda! How the Sun blesses your happy shores! Indeed, contentment here runs riot to such an extent, that this Eden proclaims its joy with five flags, five! (See if you can find them all.) The poly-coloric–Yes, that is now a word, by decree–triangles reflects the two islands’ committment to diversity and to the land’s influential painters. community.

3) Bahamas

The colors of the Bahamian flag represent the three main groups of the island chain: black-haired people, golden-haired people, and, of course, the teal-haired people. (You really should visit and see all the wonderful ‘dos.) Anyway, the black triangle also stands for the graphite pencils and black-ink pens favored by the GLs. Although diverse in geometric sentiment, Bahamas is no mathematics tyranny. The dominant GLs freely share power with the GHs. If only we could all be like the Bahamas.

4) Bhutan

Such a happy land! It loves triangles. The Bhutanese don’t see things in black and white; they view the world in yellow and orange! How wonderful is that? The joy of the land often erupts in games of Four Ball. (The dragon in the flag below holds a ball in each of its four claws.) In Four Ball, the side that collects and then defends four balls, wins. But it’s a friendly game; the winners treat the losers to triangular scoops of lemon and orange sherbets.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: flags | Tags: American Samoa, Antigua and Barbuda, Bahamas, Bhutan, diversity, eagle, flags, freedom, geometry, happy, mathematics, sherbets, spam, triangles, wars | Leave a comment

Flags of the World – Blue and White

Posted on February 28, 2024 by pauldelancey

How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously minding your own business when suddenly you acquire a country, a province, or a city. How did you end up with such an expanse of land and the people, economies, and possibly nuclear weapons that go along with it?

Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest you do so.

Perhaps you won it on Let’s Make a Deal(tm). Two of the doors had a garter snake behind them and the other door had a document giving you ownership of a country whose flag is blue and white. You picked door #1. Monte Hall shows you door #3 with the garter snake. He then asks you if you stay with the door you had originally picked or will you know pick door #2. You switch your pick, because you now know the chance of winning a country will be 2/3, whereas if you stay with the first door your odds of winning will only be 1/3. And ha,ha, you are rewarded with your very own country.

Perhaps you earned the little land with your frequent-flyer miles? You flew a lot, didn’t you?

Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.

So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to regaing their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.

That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t new; that it’s really part of either an old and peaceful nation or portfolio. How do you do this?

Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?

May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to comforting blue and white? There are, as of presstime, seven wonderful countries, and one entire world!, that use only blue and white in their banners. Here are my favorite blue-and-white flags in order of coolness and power. And you know the saying, “Comforting and powerful flags, comforting and powerful lands.”

1. The United Nations

The United Nations has flag sports a map of the world surrounded by two olive branches that symbolize peace . The world and the olive branches are both encompassed by a lot of blue. This blue represented the world’s sky, the world’s oceans, or blueberries; I’m not sure. The white color for the lands refer to the white blood cells, that we all have and that crush invading illnesses.

You really can’t go wrong with owning the entire world. You could do anything you wanted, like going to the head of all the lines of Disneyland(tm). Because you possess nuclear weapons and stuff.

2. Martinique

Martinique’s flag is by far the coolest of the blue-and-whites. It has four whites snakes on it, each enclosed in a pool of blue water. These are your body guards. People will never give you any guff, when they know can you release your snakes at the snap of a finger. And wouldn’t you like to live in a guff-free world.

3. Micronesia

Micronesia’s is wonderful in its simplicity. The four stars stand for its four big islands. The blue background represents the Pacific Ocean that connects that or my blueberries. The four stars also invoke the image of a baseball diamond. If you crave simplicity, island paradises, blue oceans lapping at your beach, and blueberries, then this is the country for you.

4. Honduras

Honduras went for the ever popular three horizontal bar theme. A country that makes a safe choice for its flag will be a safe nation to rule. The two blue bars represent the equals sign. Honduras chose the equals sign because they hold everyone to be equal and because the country is simply mathematics mad. The five stars refer to the answer to word problem 14.

5. Finland

Finland plonked down for the blue cross on a white background. The cross refers to the land’s christian heritage. All other Scandanavian countries did the same. Finland picked last, that’s why it picked blue. The white background represents the snow that covers much of the country much of the time. The intersecting blue bars also refer to road intersections. Finland is justly proud of its intersections. If you desire to drive your car in the snow, then, by all means, rule Finland.

6. Shetland

Look at the above flag for Finland. Shetland’s flag is the photo negative of Finland. Culinary flagologists tell us the Shetlanders have to do everything the exact opposite of the Finnish. And vice versa. Except for blueberries, the people of both nations love blueberries. Hence the use of blue in their flags

7. Israel

The star in the middle is the Star of David, a Jewish symbol since the Middle Ages. The two blue horizontal stripes on a white background derive from the traditional Jewish prayer shawl. The color blue represents blueberries and the small blue tassels that male Jews should carry.

8. Greece

Greece’s flag combines the three most popular flag ingredients: the cross, bars, and a love of blueberries. It has it all.

9. Somalia

The theme of Somalia is simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. One white star to represent a white star and a blue background to represent the ocean and blueberries.

Now you know the world’s blue flags. Maybe someday you’ll visit the nations their represent.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: flags | Tags: blue, blueberries, cross, Finland, flags, Greece, hedge fund, Honduras, Israel, Let's Make a Deal, Martinique, Micronesia, ocean, Shetland, Somalia, United Nations, white | Leave a comment

Flags of the World – Green and White

Posted on November 10, 2022 by pauldelancey

Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest people do so.

Perhaps you own stock in a large corporation, like Amazon(tm), for example. Amazon is growing by leaps and bounds all the time, so it’s plausible to assume that they might buy a small country or parts thereof, to help lower distribution costs.

Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.

So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to diversify your retirement portfolio be regainging their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.

Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?

May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to calming green and white? There are simply scads of wonderful countries that use only green and white in their banners. Here are my favorite green-and-white flags in order of coolness and usefulness. And you know the saying, “Cool flags, cool people.”

1. North Caucasian Emirate

The North Causian Emirate had flag sported a white happy face on a green background. It was the coolest green-and-white flag ever.*

Was.

Unfortunately this Islamic stated existed for less than a year during the Russian Revolution of 1919 to 1921. Then communists forcibly absobed the North Causian Emirate into the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics with their boring-hammer-and-sickle-on-an-endless-red-background flag. Friggin’ commies.

2. Pakistan

Pakistan has a green and white flags in the world. It possesses nuclear weapons. So if you acquire Pakistan, from playing poker perhaps, you also get its thermonuclear capability. That would come in handy when confronting medical insurers who refuse to bill you correctly. Oh, and bothersome neighbors.

3. Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia flag also uses a green-and-white flag. The Arabic inscription says, “There is no god but Allah; Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” The sword at the bottom will deter people coming to your house to sell a tree-trimming service. And what kind of monster comes unannounced to your front door, anyway?

4. Norfolk Island

Norfolk Island’s flag causes excitement wherever flaps in the wind. (Pretty much just on Norfolk Island.) You just can’t get around ithe green tree in the middle of its flag. They could have put a spoon, a bug, or an advertisement in the middle, but they didn’t. Well done, Norfolk. Your neighbors will never doubt your commitment to Go Green when you run this flag up your flagpole.

5.Nigeria

The Nigerian flag is the same as Norfolk Island’s, but with no beautiful tree in the middle. The theme of “simplicity, simplictity won out in the nationwide competiton.

6. Rotterdam

The city of Rotterdam in the Netherlands has its own flag. It is the Nigerian flag rotated 90 degrees.

7. Siberia

Siberia’s green-and-white flag boldly dispensed with the boring rectangles prevalent in so many of the world’s flags. Yes, it had two triangles, which I like to think pay hommage to the Pythagorean Theorem. The green triangle represents Siberia’s vast forest. The green triangle stands for the White Russians who fought for the Tsar’s and against the Communists. I prefer to think it stands for the snow that blankets Siberia. At any rate, the green-hating Communists, Philistines everyone of them, threw this flag away in favor of their dreary red banner.

8. The regions of the regions of Saxony, Andalusia, Antioquia, and Esmeralda

The down-to-Earth inhabitants hailing from these lands went with simple white rectangle on top of a green one and left it at that. Unpretentious, you bet.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: flags | Tags: Andalusia, Antioquia, apocalyptic, Chef Paul, communists, cookbook, De Lancey, Esmeralda, flags, good food, green, green and white, hammer and sickle, idependence, Lutheran, murders, Nigeria, Norfolk Island, North Caucasian Emirate, nuclear weapons, Pakistan, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, portfolio, Pythagorean theorem, recipes, retirement, Rotterdam, Saudi Arabia, Saxony, Siberia, thriller, USSR, white, White Russians, world | Leave a comment

Iran is Niger, Only Upside Down!

Posted on December 31, 2021 by pauldelancey

Look at the following map of the world. Notice anything spooky?

Iran is Niger upside down. Look, look! Someone copied Niger (ctrl-c), flipped it vertically, and plopped it down (ctrl-v) between Turkey and Pakistan.

Niger and Iran even have the same color.

Wow.

Proof you cannot deny.

It’s so clear! It’s so clear.

Okay, maybe you’re not convinced.

Let’s compare the map of an upside down Niger with that of a right-side up Iran.

Identical. The maps don’t lie

So, the boundaries of Iran and flipped Niger are the same. But for my hypothesis to hold, Iranians must be flipped Nigeriens. Is this true? Yes. How do we know. People that are upside down will have a flag that’s turned upside down as well. Is this true? Let’s see.

Upside down Nigerien Flag Rightside up Iranian flag

But for the fact that the orange print cartridge on the upside down Nigerien flag deteriorated into red on the Iranian flag and the ink started to run out in spots on the right, the flags are identical. Proof you cannot deny.

There you have it. The land and people of Iran are identical to those of Niger, only upside down. So you only need to visit one of the countries. Remember to stand on your head and walk upside down if you travel to Iran. It is for this reason people usually choose to vacation in Niger.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: international, observations, Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, flags, good food, hunks, Iran, Iranian, Lutheran, maps, murders, Niger, Nigien, Pakistan, Paul De Lancey, recipes, thriller, turkey, upside down, vacation | 2 Comments

Flags of the World – Red and White

Posted on March 26, 2021 by pauldelancey

How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously observing quarantine regulations. But you’re finding abiding them harder and harder to take. You find yourself developing a serious case of cabin fever. Finally, you can stand it no longer, so you rush outside. But before you know it, you’ve somehow organized a massive military uprising. Your forces, armed men and women who were drawn to you by your animal magnetism, have conquered a large part of a large country.

You find yourself filled with rebellion remorse. You try to give back your conquered lands, but the brave lads and lasses who fought for you won’t have any of that. “Go back to school,” you say to them. They say, “We missed our deadlines for turning in our essays. No teacher is going to accept the excuse ‘I couldn’t get term paper done as I was participating in a rebellion. ‘Begone,” the teacher will say, ‘like I haven’t heard that one.’ So, we will all get Fs. Our GPAs will plummet. We’ll lose our scholarships. We’ll have to drop out of university. But we won’t be able to get a job anywhere because taking part in bloody insurrection is such a resume stain.”

So, there you have it. You’re stuck with your new country. But won’t the old country that still exists be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to reconquer their lost lands? Absolutely. Can they do it? No, you inadvertently overpowered their armed forces earlier. Remember? What happens if they ally with some powerful nation and attack you?

That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this international coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t a new, that it’s really part of an old and peaceful nation. How do we do this?

Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country. How do I do that?

May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to red and white? There are simply scads of countries that use only red and white in their banners. Look at the Polish flag.

Poland is at peace with everyone. Adopt this flag and the foreign armies will think you’re at peace with everyone. If you don’t want to use the Polish flag, possibly for copyright reasons, you flip it on its side, like this. And add a little cross and you get . . . Malta.

Malta is a tiny and peaceful land. But choices for your flag still abound. Remove the cross and rotate the flag one more time and you get . . . Monaco’s and Indonesia’s flags.

Monaco is far too tiny to invade anyone and Indonesia hasn’t tried anything like that decades. And now, if you still want a flag that’s guaranteed to confuse your fledgling nation’s with those of more-established countries but is a little bit more stylish, may I suggest that your peruse the following red-and-white flags.

You don’t even have to draw your flagian, not really a word, from a real country’s banner. Look at the Swiss and Red Cross flags.

They’re almost the same flag! One of the two entities just switched colors with the other. Is this okay? And if you stare at the Swiss flag long enough will you see the Red Cross flag and vice versa? Something to think about.

Other countries have red-and-white flags, but didn’t make the cut for displaying their flags. Anyway, honorable mention goes to: Denmark, Georgia, and Japan.

So now you have many, many red-and-white flags to choose from. You new nation needn’t fear invasion, secure in the knowledge that the rest of the world will confuse your country with another. And that’s a good feeling.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: humor, international, obsevations, politics | Tags: apocalyptic, Austria, Bahrain, cabin fever, Canada, Chef Paul, conquered, cookbook, deadlines, Denmark, flags, Georgia, good food, GPA, Greenland, insurrection, Japan, Lutheran, Malta, military, Monaco, nightmare, Paul De Lancey, Peru, Poland, quarantine, rebellion, Red Cross, remorse, school, Singapore, Switzerland, term paper, thriller, Tonga, Tunisia, turkey, uprising, world | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: flags

Flags of the World – Triangles, Part Four

Flags of the World – Triangles, Part One