Posts Tagged With: De Lancey

Fraud! Moby Dick Was Not a Whale

Posted on August 17, 2022 by pauldelancey

Moby Dick was to be portrayed by a whale in the movie with the same name. There are, of course, sperm whales that can be hired for the role. However, sperm whales know they have no serious competition from human actors, not even the ever superb and ever versatile Tom Cruise. Sperm whales realize this and charge $100,000 a day while on the set. White sperm whales are much rarer and command acting fees of $10,000,000 a day. No motion-picture studio can afford such a cost.

This is why the movie Moby Dick starring Gregory Peck did not film actual white sperm whales. The studio simply could not afford to cast Spanky the Sperm Whale.

So what did they do? There answer was ingenuous. They simply boiled some far-cheaper weisswursts. German white sausages, and drew mouths and eyes on them with a black marker. You really can’t tell the difference unless you see the white sperm whale and the weisswursts side by side and motionless as can be seen below

Of course, Hollywood always wants a sequel to any blockbuster. It never happened in this case, because the studio’s coffee lady moved to New Zealand, However, my sources told me the sequel would have been called Caleb Dick, Moby’s son. The above picture on the right was a promotional poster for the never-materialized second movie. Now you know.

Oh, and it took more time than I care to reveal to come up with the above pictures. However, that time would have surely been spent by me fomenting revolution in the streets. And we don’t need that.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: are you a dick, observations, you need to see | Tags: black marker, blockbuster, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, film, German, good food, Gregory Peck, hunks, Lutheran, motion picture, Mpby Dick, New Zealand, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, revolution, sausage, sequel, sperm, sperm whale, studio, thriller, Tom Cruise, weisswurts, whale | 4 Comments

Grilled Jerk Salmon

Posted on August 16, 2022 by pauldelancey

Jamaican Entree

GRILLED JERK SALMON

INGREDIENTS

2½ tablespoons jerk seasoning*
2½ tablespoons olive oil
2½ tablespoons lime juice
4 5-ounce salmon fillets with skin

* = Jerk seasoning or Jamaican jerk seasoning can be found at many supermarkets, ethnic grocery stores or online. It’s good to have some of this around particularly here where the jerk seasoning combines 14 ingredients.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

outdoor grill
meat thermometer

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add jerk seasoning, olive oil, and lime juice to large mixing bowl. Stir this marinade with fork until well blended. Brush both sides of all fillets with marinade. Place coated salmon fillets on plates. Let marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour 30 minutes.

Preheat outdoor grill to medium Place salmon fillets on grill, skin side down. Grill for 5 minutes. Flip fillets. Grill for another 3 minutes or until salmon is opaque and flaky.

Or if you have a meat thermometer, take the salmon off the grill when the internal temperature reaches 125. Let the fillets sit for 3 minutes. This will get a medium salmon fillet. The FDA recommends an internal temperature of 145 degrees. Goodness.

TIDBITS

1) Jamaicans love grilled jerk salmon. The salmon of choice remains the King Salmon which can weigh over 120 pounds. Strong chefs lifted the hefty salmon to the cleaning table to clean the fish.. Then the chefs brushed the King Salmon with a jerk marinade. After an hour, the cooks placed the salmon on the grill. The whole process became the Clean, Jerk, and Grill.

2) Many people watched the muscular men lift and prepare the salmon. In 1921, preparing this dish became a national sport. The Clean, Jerk, and Grill became an Olympic sport in 1948. As salmon goes bad quickly under hot summer sun, organizers switched out salmon for metallic weights and so the event has remained as the Clean and Jerk. (Because you can’t grill weights.) Now you know.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, De Lancey, entree, ethnic, fillet, good food, grilled, grocery, hunks, Jamaican, jerk, Lutheran, murders, Olympics, Paul De Lancey, recipes, salmon, thriller, weights | Leave a comment

Computer Mistakes

Posted on August 15, 2022 by pauldelancey

The struggle is real.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: appetizer, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, computer, cookbook, De Lancey, good food, hunks, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller | 1 Comment

When Life Gives You

Posted on August 14, 2022 by pauldelancey

Always move forward.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: obsevations | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, good food, lemonade, lemons, life, Lutheran, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller | Leave a comment

Quinoa Shrimp Stew

Posted on August 13, 2022 by pauldelancey

Peruvian Entree

QUINOA SHRIMP STEW
(Quinoa Atamalada con Camarones)

INGREDIENTS

2¼ cups quinoa
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 tomato
¼ cup vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
1¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup chicken or beef broth
½ cup grated Chihuahua or mozzarella cheese
¾ pound medium-large shrimp (36-40 count) peeled, deveined
3 tablespoons fresh parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

fine-mesh colander

Serves 6. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse and drain quinoa in colander. Do this 2 more times or until the run-off water is clear. Add quinoa to medium pot. Add enough water to cover quinoa. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning. Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 12 minutes or until quinoa absorbs all the water. Stir enough to prevent burning.

While quinoa simmers, mince garlic, onion, and tomato. Add vegetable oil, garlic, and onion to large pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium. Add cumin, oregano, pepper, red pepper flakes, and salt. Stir with spatula until well blended. Add broth, quinoa, tomato, and cheese. Simmer for 3 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shrimp. Simmer stew for another 3 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Stir occasionally. While quinoa stew simmers, mince parsley. Garnish stew with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) If you’re going to propose after dinner, make a dish that’s just enough for two. Some recipes don’t say how many people they’ll serve. You have to guess. But if it the entree actually feeds 5,223, you’ll be too busy cooking to propose. And you’ll be eating leftovers for a long, long time.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, entree, good food, hunks, Lutheran, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, Peruvian, quinoa, recipes, shrimp, stew | Leave a comment

You Keep Using the Word

Posted on August 12, 2022 by pauldelancey

Haiku to Heteroskedasticity

Some words are quite long
Heteroskedasticity
Is one of those those.*

* = “Those those” because the last line needs five syllables. Haikus aren’t easy to write either.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: I Do Not Think It Means | Tags: apocalyptic, artist, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, haiku, heteroskedasticity, hunks, I Do Not Think It Means, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller, work | 2 Comments

An Author Hard At Work

Posted on August 11, 2022 by pauldelancey

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, artist, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, hunks, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller, work | Leave a comment

Chocolate Frosting

Posted on August 10, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

CHOCOLATE FROSTING

INGREDIENTS

1¾ cups heavy whipping cream
1¾ cups (10 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips
3¼ cups confectioners’ sugar

Makes 4½ cups. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

FROSTING NEEDED

Dessert Type Needs Cups of Frosting
—————– —————————–
2 layer cake 3
3 layer cake 4
12 cupcakes 2
13″ * 9″ cake 2

PREPARATION

Add heavy whipping cream to pan. Heat whipping cream at medium heat until cream just starts to bubble. Stir constantly. Remove from heat. Add chocolate chips. Stir with spatula or fork until all chips melt. Transfer to large mixing bowl. Keep in refrigerator until cooled and still pourable, about 40 minutes. Gradually add confectioners’ sugar.

Mix with whisk or fork. Lasts for 7 days in refrigerator when stored in Mason jar or other airtight container.

TIDBITS

1) Chocolate has pleased billions of people for thousands of years. Just saying “chocolate” puts even the most stubborn people in a good mood. This is why chocolate figures prominently in peace treaties, legislation, and court cases.

2) If only there were enough chocolate to dispel all disagreements, the world would be perfect.

3) But there isn’t. Powerful people try to secure the globe’s chocolate supply for themselves. The Aztec nobility monopolized Mexico’s chocolate. This bred fierce resentment among the poor Aztecs and in all of the surrounding tribes. So, when Cortés and his fellow conquistadors set out in 1519 to conquer the Aztecs, the chocolate-lacking Mexicans said, “Sure, why not? Go ahead.”

4) The gold-lusting Spanish then went onto conquer the Incans in Peru for its gold. Spanish gold financed over a hundred years of wars in Europe. And all this happened because the Aztec elite wouldn’t share its chocolate. So when people ask for part of your chocolate bar, give them some. Oh look, I have an extra line left. Let’s use this space to daydream about chocolate. Mmm.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: apocalyptic, Aztec, Chef Paul, chocolate, Comic Chef, cookbook, Cortes, Cortez, De Lancey, dessert, Europe, frosting, gold, good food, hunks, Lutheran, Mexican, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, peace treaties, recipes, thriller, wars | 2 Comments

Wanda Wunder Wonders About Unspoken Words

Posted on August 9, 2022 by pauldelancey

Wanda Wunder #24

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, good food, hunks, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller, unspoken words, Wanda Wunder | Leave a comment

French Physicist Apologizes For ‘Planet Photo’ Which Was Actually A Slice Of Chorizo

Posted on August 8, 2022 by pauldelancey

I try hard to make up funny things for your enjoyment. Occasionally life whoops my funny bone. This blog shows one of those instances. Congratulations to
9gag.com for finding this.

See the entire article by clicking on the following link:

https://9gag.com/hot/a2136Ad?utm_campaign=link_post&utm_medium=social&utm_source=Facebook

If another planet gets discovered in our Solar System, I want it named, “Chorizo.”

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, chorizo, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, entree, French physicist, good food, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, planet photo, recipes, thriller | 2 Comments

Posts Tagged With: De Lancey

Fraud! Moby Dick Was Not a Whale