Vera the Virus #4, 12/18/2023
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef
Vera the Virus Tells a Joke
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: apocalyptic, banana, beneficial, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, humans, hunks, Lutheran, murders, split, thriller, tiny world, Vera the Virus, virus
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Amchoor Chutney
Indian Appetizer
AMCHOOR CHUTNEY
INGREDIENTS
½ cup jaggery* or dark brown sugar
¼ cup amchoor powder** or tamarind powder or citric acid powder
¼ chili powder
¼ teaspoon ginger powder
¾ teaspoon roasted cumin powder* or cumin powder
1 teaspoon black salt* or salt
½ cup water
* = Available in Asian supermarkets or on line.
** = Available in Asian supermarkets or on line. Amchoor powder is powdered mango. Mango is a fruit. Fruits are important to chutney. So, please try to find amchoor, or amchur, powder.
Makes ½ cup. Takes 20 minutes.
PREPARATION
Add all ingredients but water to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Add this mixture and water to pan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir constantly. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.
This chutney goes well with curries, cheese, lamb, and poultry. Amchoor chutney also makes a good sandwich and even is tasty just by itself. It’s quite versatile.
TIDBITS
1) On December 31, 2022, Ayansh “Armchair” Chandra became, by far, the richest man in the world with an estimated wealth of $1.3 trillion dollars. He was immediately deluged with spam mail and calls from sons of Nigerian dictators and penny-stock, dessert-topping speculators.
2) How did he get to be so rich? Simple, the International Patent and Trademark Board (IPTB) mistakenly awarded him the above sum for violations of his armchair patents and trademark on the word “armchair.” However, late on January 1, the IPTB realized its mistake and cancelled the award. A suitably chastened director, Pieter van Poffertje, commented, “Jeetje, that’s the last time we have such a big New Year’s Eve party.”
3) To atone for such a serious gaffe, the IPTB decreed for one day to give “Armchair” Chandra all royalties derived from all amchoor chutneys sold in Antarctica. Of course, the IPTB possesses no enforcement powers there, but Chandra appreciated the thought. And so, everything was settled.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: cuisine, history, international
Tags: amchoor, Antarctica, appetizer, black salt, chili powder, chutney, Comic Chef, cookbook, curries, ginger powder, Indian, jaggery, Nigerian dictators, patents, royalties
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What I Did the Day After Yesterday
1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.2) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.
3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.
4) But didn’t go out. It’s too peoply out there.
5) Went over finances.
6) Spent hours failing to deal with an email issue arising from a misbegotten union between Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm).
7) Cussed a lot. Verizon, can you hear me know.
8) Worked on a family Christmas picture.
9) Wrote letters to our six sponsored children abroad. Sent them Christmas gifts.
10) Took a long relaxing fizzy bath. I’m really clean.
11) Read from the highly enjoyable bath book, Mary’s Land.
12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.”
13) Noticed that the Earth was upside down.
14) Turn it rightside up again.
15) Reasoned that my hypothesis in 14) was faulty. It was only perceived to be upside down. Many would have thought it was rightside up in the first place.
16) Thought it best to return things to their original state, by turning it downside up. Sorry, if I made you dizzy. Let this be a lesson in humility for me. On the plus side, people in both hemispheres got to see constellations they never would have otherwise.
17) Made sausages and beans for dinner.
Behave yourselves.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: what I did
Tags: children, Christmas, cleanliness, Comic Chef, constellations, cookbook, dinner, Earth, finances, supermarket, thriller, virtue, Western civilization, what I did
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What I Did Today
Sewing the Earth back together, one spool at a time
1) Woke up.
2) Got up. The streak continues
3) Worked on finances.
4) Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.
5) Got dressed. Wore dress casual again.
6) Drove to my massage therapist. Emerged feeling better.
7) Did errands with a friend.
8) Bought food, including a ham for Christmas.
9) Drove home.
10) Ruthlessly extirminated errors in a financial spreadsheet.
11) Made taquitos for the natives.
12) Watched an episode in the lecture series, “Foundations of Western Civilization.
13) Noticed that the Earth was coming apart.
14) Double stitched the Earth back together. It’s safe now. By the way, my grandmother was a professional seamstress.
15) Contemplated the infinite. It’s relaxing. You should try it.
Behave yourselves.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: what I did
Tags: cleanliness, Comic Chef, cookbook, Earth, finances, ham, massage therapist, natives, seamstress, supermarket, taquitos, thriller, virtue, Western civilization, what I did
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You Need to See Little Kids Going Back to School
You get overwhelmed. You get crabby. You see nothing in the big picture to relieve the gloom in your future.
You need to take a step back. You need to look at the present. You need to look at the little picture.
Specifically, a picture of little kids going back to school.
Ponder their adorable little faces. Seeing these children brightens the future oh so much.
Your heart while not quite soaring like a hawk, flits here and there like a butterfly.
You are no longer in your future. You are in a happy now.
You need to see #35
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: you need to see
Tags: back to school, big picture, butterfly, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, future, good food, happy, kids, Lutheran, recipes, school, thriller, you need to see
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Buddha’s Hand Vinaigrette
American Appetizer
BUDDHA’S HAND VINAIGRETTE
INGREDIENTS
½ cup olive oil or grapeseed oil
½ tablespoon salt
¼ cup lemon juice
5 tablespoons Buddha’s hand zest *
2 garlic clove
2 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
½ teaspoon thyme
* = It is quite possible that you’ll need to make your own zest from a Buddha’s hand citron. Buddha’s hand citron in organic or specialty supermarkets such as SproutsTM.
SPECIAL UTENSILS
zester, if as likely, you bought Buddha’s hand citron
Mason jar
Makes 1 cup. Takes 10 minutes or 25 minutes if you need to make your own zest.
PREPARATION
Add all ingredients to Mason jar. Shake until well blended.
TIDBITS
1) Buddha’s Hand is supposed look like the hand of Buddha. Apparently, Buddha had about 16 fingers on a hand. Who knew?
2) Baseball at one time, also had strange nicknames that referred to parts of the body. The best ones are:
Bris “The Human Eyeball” Lord. His middle name is Robotham. Really.
Nick “Tomato Face” Cullup
Walt “No Neck” Williams
Wilbur “Raw Meat” Rodgers
Football had Lou “The Toe” Groza
The best non-body nickname is “Death to Flying Things” and was applied to Jack Chapman, Bob Ferguson, and Franklin Gutiérrez.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: cuisine, sports
Tags: appetizer, balsamic vinegar, baseball, Buddha, Buddha's Hand, Chef Paul, citron, Comic Chef, cookbook, football, Lou Groza, nicknames, raw meat, The Human Eyeball, vinaigrette
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Vera the Virus Tells a Joke
Vera the Virus #3 12/12/2023
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Vera the Virus
Tags: apocalyptic, beneficial, card, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, hunks, hybrid, Lutheran, murders, new virus, thriller, tiny world, Vera the Virus, virus
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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s word: Afterbuy
Why is it so hard to find something we needed or would really like? Why do we only spot those items after we pay the cashier?
If only there were a word to describe this phenomenon. It’s time to correct this oversight.
TODAY’S AWESOME WORD
afterbuy
Awesome entry #29
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay
Tags: afterbuy, awesome, checkout, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, dictionary, English, hunks, Lutheran, murders, on time, oversight, Paul's, recipes
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Persimmon Pomegranate Arugula Salad
American Appetizer
PERSIMMON POMEGRANATE ARUGULA SALAD
INGREDIENTS
4 Fuyu persimmons
3 cups arugula
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup pomegranate seeds*
2 tablespoons pomegranate juice.
* = 1 pomegranate will yield sufficient amount of these ingredients.
SPECIAL UTENSILS
mandoline (optional)
vegetable peeler (optional)
Serves 4. Takes 15 minutes or a bit longer if you have scoop the seeds out of a pomegranate.
PREPARATION
Peal persimmons with peeler. Use mandoline to cut persimmons into slices ¼’ thick. Add all ingredients to large serving bowl. Toss with forks or spoons until well blended.
TIDBITS
1) On April 1, Farine du Ble demonstrated on her show, Talc Chef, how to make Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad, or APPs for short. Viewers tried it and recommended this salad to all their friends. “If want to have this dish, check it out on APPS. Unfortunately, most human ears cannot distinguish between APPs and apps. So, most people heard “Check it out on apps.”
2) And so they went to their apps’ store to buy Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad. So many billions of people tried that they crashed the worldwide web and crashed communication everywhere. E-commerce looked ready to collapse. Decades-long depression loomed. Militaries from most countries ceased to function from lack of orders. The very few armies that didn’t rely on the internet could have conquered us all. It looked bad.
3) Fortunately, world leaders had already decreed April 1st to be Global Nap Day. No orders for Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad could have been shipped that day. Thus, the Great Interest crash couldn’t have affected commerce at all. Soldiers napped all over the Earth. So, no wars of conquest took place. Everything was okay. Still, it had been quite the close call. An emergency session of the United Nations renamed this dish to be Persimmon Pomegranate Arugula Salad, or PPAS. The threat to the internet vanished. Serenity returned to the world. Something to chew on.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: history
Tags: American, appetizer, apps, arugula, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, commerce, cookbook, depression, internet, olive oil, persimmon, pomegranate, salad, United Nations
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Vera the Virus
Vera sets goals.
Vera the Virus #2
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Vera the Virus
Tags: apocalyptic, benefical, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, comic strip, cookbook, die young, goals, live fast, murders, Paul R. Delancey, Ph.D., thriller, Vera, virus
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