Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

Good Chefs Always Use Natural Ingredients

Yes, they do.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: wise words | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Candidate Paul Fights for America

Consider all the things that infuriate you every day. Does the present lot of politicians ever propose anything to help end such frustration?

They do not.

America clearly needs me to be its president.

If elected, I will . . .

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Squink

Our manners remain so ingrained in us that we always apologize for any misdeed.  So much so, that we apologize when no ones around.

But we don’t have a word to describe this behavior.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

squink

Awesome entry #16

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I hope I Have Enough Quarters

Not too far from where I live is a business called “Coin Mart Jewelry.”

They sell valuable coins. They have a market for coins, hence “Coin Mart.”

They also sell jewelry, which is why that word is also in their name.

­However,  my first impression was that you needed coins to buy jewelry at their mart, just like at one time you had to have four quarters to buy a cheese sandwich, In this case, buying a $4,000 diamond necklace would require 16,000 quarters. I imagine it would be frustrating to discover that after putting in 15,999 quarters into the slot, that you were one quarter short. Look at the vending machine below and mentally replace the sandwich with a pearl necklace. Such is the way I think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bife Koygua (Beef Stew)

Paraguayan Entree

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BIFE KOYGUA

(Beef Stew)

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INGREDIENTS
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2 garlic cloves
1 large onion
1 medium potato
1 tomato
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 8-ounce steaks, sirloin or tenderloin
2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil (1 tablespoon more later)
1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon oregano
2 cups water
2 eggs
2 teaspoons fresh parsley
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
mandoline (optional)
Serves 2*. Takes 40 minutes.
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* = Multiply the amount of ingredients by 2 if you’re serving 4. Multiply by 1.896,310 if everyone in Los Angeles is coming for dinner. And with that many people coming, insist that they at least bring their dishes to the sink. That’s how I was raised.
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PREPARATION
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Mince garlic. Cut onion and potato into ¼” slices using mandoline or knife. Dice tomatoes. Rub garlic, pepper, and salt onto steaks. Add oil and onion to large pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Remove onion. Add 1 tablespoon olive oil. Add steaks. Sauté steaks for 3 minutes or until they brown. Flip steaks once.
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Add potato slices, bay leaf, oregano, and water, enough to cover potato. Cook at medium-high heat for 15 minutes or until potato becomes tender. Place onion and tomato on steaks. Crack an egg over each steak. Reduce heat to medium. Cook until eggs and steaks are done to your liking. (If you prefer your meat to be less cooked, the steaks may be taken out before the eggs are done or even before the eggs are added.) Remove bay leaf. Dice parsley. Garnish steaks with parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) Look at the above photograph for Bife Koygua. There’s something about this entree that’s different from any other.
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2) Notice the potatoes.
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3) No, the potatoes slices are not worthy of note because they all are exactly ¼” thick, although well spotted you!
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4) It’s because the spud bits are just wee bit off the close end of the plate.
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5) That’s is no accident. The potato slices are, indeed, trying to make an escape.
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6) If I had delayed snapping this photograph by just ten minutes, they would have completely escaped the plate. Ten more minutes would have seen them escaping the open front door for the safety of your bushes. (Another reason to keep your home locked up.)
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7) For no sentient potato looks forward to being eaten.
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8) Are all potatoes capable of rational thought?
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9) No.
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10) The only cogitating tuber is the Patata Rapida of Paraguay.
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11) Who grows the Patata Rapida?
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12) Patatas Son Nosotros Corporació (PSNC) does.
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13) Why did PSNC come up with the quick moving Patata Rapida?
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14) The corporation was not trying for sprinting spuds. Instead they had hoped to create potatoes that cooked quicker. Imagine baking a potato in just five minutes instead of up to an hour or more?
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15) What could you do with all the extra time?
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16) You could take up painting. Or you could spend some frisky time with your spouse.
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17) Unfortunately, PSNC’s genetic experiments yielded quick taters, not to be confused with dictators.
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18) Can you find Patatas Rapida in supermarkets?
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19) No, they always escape. Culinary police point with horror to the mass Rapida escape of 2021 in Paducah, Kentucky. Surly gangs of Patatas Rapida (PRs) roamed the Paduchan night, harassing good citizens out for a pleasant evening stroll. Most states and municipalities now ban the sale of PRs. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivating You With Slogans, #1

Life is hard. We bow our head against the fierce wind battering our face. We want to give up.

If only we had a slogan to motivate us.

And here it is:

Motivational Slogan #1

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: motivational slogan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Bloval

We’ve all done pointless, but difficult things. Perhaps it was completely filling in the “o”s i  War and Peace. Perhaps it was balancing an egg. Perhaps it was balancing an egg on its pointy end. The skill and determination needed to bring these efforts to a success are truly worthy of our praise, if only they weren’t so useless.

But we don’t have a word to describe these utterly unimportant achievements.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

bloval

Awesome entry #15

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angry Man Rants About the Post Office

This happens all too often. And not only with the Post Office.

Angry Man #24

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Tomato Pie

American Entree

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TOMATO PIE

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INGREDIENTS­
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1 tablespoon fresh basil
1½ tablespoons fresh dill
3 green onions
1½ tablespoons fresh oregano
1 tablespoon fresh parsley
2½ pounds tomatoes
½ tablespoon salt
¾ cup mayonnaise
¾ cup shredded mozzarella cheese
¾ cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1 9″ pie shell
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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mandoline (optional)
aluminum foil
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 360 degrees, Dice basil, dill, green onions, oregano, and parsley. Use mandoline or knife to Slice tomatoes into slices ¼”-thick slices with mandoline or knife. Place tomato slices 1-layer deep on paper towels. Sprinkle slices with salt. Place paper towels on tomatoes. Pat tomatoes dry. Let sit 15 minutes. Pat tomato slices dry again with new paper towels. Add mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses, basil, dill, green onion, oregano, and mayonnaise to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.
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Arrange ⅓ of the tomato slices over the pie crest. Spread ½ of the cheese/mayonnaise mixture over the tomato slices. Repeat. Arrange last layer of tomato slices over the 2nd cheese/ mayonnaise layer. Press these slices firmly into the cheese/mayonnaise. (This makes the layers come together.) Wrap only the edges of crust with tin foil to prevent the crust from browning excessively.
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Bake at 360 degrees for 35 minutes or until the mayonnaise/cheese mixture turns golden brown and begins to bubble. Garnish with parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) Lucy of Olduvai Gorge had a brother called Tomato. His skeleton has yet to be discovered. That’s why know so little of him. While most homonids were content to be hunter-gathers, Tomato developed the tomato by careful cross pollination. He then scattered tomato seeds along his way to North and South America. It’s only fitting that we named the tomato after him.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Chatting With Chefs, cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Tidyfinding

The surest way to lose something is to misplace it. Then put something else on top of it You can’t see the thing you want to find because it’s covered. You don’t even know where to start looking as you weren’t paying attention when you put it down. Where did it go? The only way to find it is to clean house until you see it. If you discover it early in your cleaning then, hurray, you’ll have time for other projects. If however, you have to tidy up for hours, then you’ll gain a home that’s will sparkle with cleanliness. King Charles III will be proud to accept your invitation. It’s a win-win situation. But we don’t have a word to describe this process.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

tidyfinding

Awesome entry #13

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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