Posts Tagged With: cheese

Oklahoma Venison Burger

American Entree

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OKLAHOMA VENISON BURGER

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INGREDIENTS­
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1 onion
1 pound ground venison or ground beef
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
4 hamburger buns
1 ½tablespoon vegetable oil
4 slices American or cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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mandoline
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Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Use mandoline to cut onion into slices 1/16″ thick. Add venison, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Divide venison into 4 balls..
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Add venison balls to flat surface. Top venison balls with equal amounts of onion slices. Use large spatula to smash venison balls into patties ¼” thick. (Make sure the onion slices are totally smashed into the patty.)
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Add vegetable oil to pan. Use spatula to add as many flattened patties to pan ast will fit without touching. (You might to cook in batches.) Cook patties at medium heat for 4 minutes or until the bottom of the patties brown and the edges start to crisp.
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Use large spatula to carefully turn over patties. Cook for another 3 minutes or until onion bits turn golden brown, or caramelize, and patties reach desired level of doneness. Top patties with a cheese slice. Cook for 1 minute more or until cheese melts. While venison patties cook, toast buns. Assemble burger with your favorite toppings and dig in. Yum.
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TIDBITS
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1) Smashing onion into burgers during the Great Depression was a way to stretch expensive beef. This idea is credited by culinary historians for lifting America of the Great Depression.
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2) On the other hand, their cousins, the culinary physicists, are using particle accelerators to test the properties of Oklahoma Venison Burgers, OVB, under extreme conditions. What do they hope to find? They’re not saying. We should worry.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Emotional Cheese

American Entree

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EMOTIONAL CHEESE

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Emotional food really is a thing. Emotions foods evoke positive emotions in you. These foods bring back memories of pleasant, happy dinners with friends and family. Emotional foods also please us due to their simplicity. The world is just getting too complex. We crave simple foods
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The best emotional foods are yummy, simple, and taste like childhood.
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Cheese pizzas are tasty and provide the basis of happy. family memories
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But pizzas do not qualify, at least to me, as an emotional food. They are simple but they take an eternity to make from scratch. Motoring to a Italian restaurant, waiting for a waitress and waiting for the chef to cook your pizza is like watch paint dry. Excessive waiting births negative emotions.
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What then is quick way to make emotional food? Look at the below recipe to find out how.
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INGREDIENT
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1 block of cheese
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PREPARATION
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Cut off a slab of cheese from a block cheese. That’s it. Now you’re filled with yummy cheese and emotions. Yay.
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Serves 1. Takes 1 minute
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And now, your emotional cheese.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Flatbread Cheese Pizza

Fusion Entree

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FLATBREAD CHEESE PIZZA

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INGREDIENTS­
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3 Roma tomatoes
6 9″ flatbreads
2 tablespoons olive oil (1 teaspoon on each flatbread)
1½ cups pizza sauce (¼ cup on each flatbread)
½ tablespoon basil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
½ tablespoon oregano
½ teaspoon pepper
3 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (½ cup on each flatbread)
¾ cup shredded Parmesan cheese (2 tablespoons on each flatbread)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 baking sheets
parchment paper
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Serves 6. Takes 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Slice each Roma tomatoes into 6 slices. Use brush to spread 1 tablespoon olive oil on each flatbread. Use brush to spread ¼ cup pizza sauce over each flatbread. Add 3 tomato slices to each flatbread. Sprinkle basil, minced garlic, oregano, and pepper evenly over each flatbread. Sprinkle ½ cup mozzarella cheese on each flatbread. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese on each flatbread.
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Put parchment paper on baking sheets. Place flatbreads on baking sheets. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 minutes or until cheese starts to brown.
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TIDBITS
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1) Flatbread is great. It sure can satisfy any hunger. Flatbread is great. Just let it dry out and it can patch sails.
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2) Columbus used dried flatbread to patch his ship’s sails during his epic voyage of discovery in 1492.
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3) Columbus and his Spanish explorers gave the natives flatbread. In return, the local tribes presented the adventurers with corn. Relations between the two peoples would soon deteriorate, but it wasn’t the flatbread’s fault.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chicken Tostada

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN TOSTADA

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INGREDIENTS­
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2 garlic cloves
1 green onion
1 green or red bell pepper
⅔ red onion
⅔ small yellow onion
1 pound canned refried beans
½ cup crema Mexicana or sour cream
2 tablespoons olive oil
1⅓ pounds shredded chicken
2 teaspoons cilantro
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon lime juice
¾ teaspoon Mexican oregano or oregano
⅛ teaspoon pepper
6 tostada shells
1½ cups shredded lettuce
½ cup shredded cotija cheese or Four Mexican cheeses
½ cup salsa (optional)
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PREPARATION
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Dice garlic, green onion, bell pepper, red onion, and yellow onion. Add refried beans and crema Mexicana to pot. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy.
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Add garlic, green onion, bell pepper, olive oil, red onion, yellow onion, shredded chicken, cilantro, coriander, cumin, lime juice, Mexican oregano, and pepper to pan. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink.
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Divide refried beans equally between tostadas. Put similar amounts of chicken/bell pepper mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, shredded cotija cheese, and salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Reginald “Chicken Tostada” Hernandez, terrorized the Arizona railroads in the early 1880s. People say Reginald held up the Southern Pacific and the Atlantic & Pacific railroads 17,223 times. Other, less feverish souls, believe this number to be too high. At any rate, his robberies gave him enough cash to maintain his colossal chicken-tostada habit. This last bit could very well be true as he dined on chicken tostadas for every meal he had since he turned 16. It’s a mystery, though, why his mother Senora Maria Hernandez named her son, Reginald. Perhaps it’s after the famous cricketer Reginald Smythe-Parkinson who toured Sonora with the British national cricket team in 1856.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Anglesey Eggs

British Breakfast

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ANGLESEY EGGS

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INGREDIENTS – POTATOES­
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1½ pounds russet, Yukon gold, or King Edward potatoes
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2 large leeks
3 tablespoons butter (2 tablespoons more later)
½ tablespoon butter (1½ tablespoons more later)
1¼ cups milk
6 hard boiled eggs
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* = Caerphilly can be difficult to find and be expensive to buy online.
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE & TOPPING
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1½ tablespoons butter
5 teaspoons flour
1 cup milk
¼ cup breadcrumbs
½ cup grated, or crumbled, Caerphilly* cheese or Cheddar cheese (½ cup more later)
½ cup grated, or crumbled, Caerphilly cheese or Cheddar cheese
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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9″ casserole dish
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION – POTATOES
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into eight pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes. Add pepper and salt. Mash potatoes with potato masher.
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While potatoes boil, remove stringy root end of the leeks. Remove the dark green tops. Wash leeks. (Dirt can get between the leek layers.) Slice leeks into circles ¼” thick..Add 3 tablespoons butter and sliced leeks. Sauté for 12 minutes at medium heat or until leek slices soften.
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Coat casserole dish with ½ tablespoon butter. Add leek circles and mashed potatoes to large mixing bowl. Mix with large spoon until well blended. Add leek circles/mashed potatoes to casserole dish. Smooth with spatula. Boil eggs. (6 minutes for soft-boiled and 12 minutes for hard-boiled.) Peel and cut eggs in half. Arrange egg halves evenly over mashed potatoes. Press eggs gently into the top of potato mix.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE & TOPPING
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While eggs boil, add 1½ tablespoons butter to pot. Melt butter using low heat. Add flour. Mix with spatula until well blended. Cook for 2 minutes at medium heat. Stir frequently. Add milk. Mix with spatula until well blended. Cook for 3 minutes at medium heat or until sauce thickens. Stir constantly. Add ½ cup cheese. Cook for 1 minute at medium heat or until cheese melts. Stir frequently. Ladle sauce over mashed potatoes and egg halves.
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Add bread crumbs and ½ cup cheese to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Sprinkle bread crumb/cheese mix over sauce. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until  golden brown and crispy.
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TIDBITS
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1) How many times has this happened to you? You’ve made scrambled eggs just before the start of the seventh game of the World Series. You made a lot. You get ready to clean the pan.
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2) But your friends in the den yell, “The game’s started.” As you head to the TV, you tell yourself that you’ll scrub off the eggs bits from the pan when there’s a lull in the ball game.
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3) But there is never is lull in the action. In fact you are watching the most exciting baseball game ever, and in the game of the World Series! And between the Mariners and the Pirates. They had gone decade after decade without appearing in baseball’s fall classic.
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4) It’s the sixth inning. Barney Bubble and Louis Courgette are both throwing perfect games. How exciting is that? But in the back of your culinary mind, you sense the eggs in the frying pan petrifying into rock. You sense a cup has fallen into the mixing bowl used for whisking the eggs. You feel the egg remnants in the mixing bowl cementing the cup to the bowl in a bond so strong that it will last until the Sun becomes a red giant and incinerates the Earth.
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5) “Why, oh why?” you think, “didn’t I make Anglesey Eggs for everyone. It’s ever so tasty and it leaves no egg glue.”
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6) Your synapses fire an existential thought. “Why didn’t I tell my wife to make us sandwiches?” But you knew why not. She tried to kill you the last time you tried this stunt. An all-woman jury acquitted her.
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7) 22 innings later, the Mariners win. A walk-home run ends it; it’ provides the only man on base. But there is no joy in your kitchen. That pan will never scrub clean. In fact, a rhino’s become fossilized in the egg strata that lies between the cup and the mixing bowl.
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8) How the rhino get into your kitchen without anyone noticing? Perhaps it tiptoed? How did it get between the cup and the mixing bowl? Perhaps it was on a diet.
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9) So plan your meals wisely.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cheese Lasagna

Italian Entree

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CHEESE LASAGNA

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INGREDIENTS – PASTA
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3 cups flour*
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
½ cup water or more
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* = More might be needed for dusting, texture.
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INGREDIENTS – CHEESE
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3 garlic cloves
1 white onion
2½ cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1¼ cups shredded Parmesan cheese (2 tablespoons more later)
2¼ cups ricotta cheese
⅓ cup red wine
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 26-ounce jar spaghetti sauce
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon basil
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon thyme
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INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
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2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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9-inch x 13-inch baking dish
no-stick pastry mat
rolling pin
hand crank pasta machine
cooking scissors (If your baking dish is 8-inches x 8-inches, for example)
no-stick spray
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Serves 12. Takes 3 hours 10 minutes.
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PREPARATION – DOUGH
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Combine 3 cups flour, eggs, egg yolk, and water into large mixing bowl. Knead with hands for 15 minutes. Make a ball of the mixture. It should be only slightly sticky and should just be able to come off your hand. If some of the ball sticks to your hand, then add a bit more flour, mix again, and try the new flour. If the flour ball is powdery, it is too dry. Add a bit more water, mix again, and try the consistency of the next ball. There may be a number of these iterations but it must be done. Divide dough ball into 3 equal mini-dough balls. Wrap mini-dough balls with plastic wrap and let sit in refrigerator for 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – CHEESE
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Add mozzarella, Parmesan, and ricotta cheeses to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended
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Add onion, garlic, and olive oil. to frying pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add red wine, spaghetti sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, bay leaf, Italian seasoning, oregano, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.
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PREPARATION – PASTA
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This preparation needs to be done 3 times. Dust no-stick pastry mat with flour. Remove 1 dough ball from refrigerator. Keep remaining dough balls in fridge until needed. Put this dough ball on pastry mat. Dust rolling pin. Roll out dough into oval shape 5½” wide and ¼” thick. (Anything thicker inhibits dough from going through hand-crank pasta machine.)
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Use pasta machine’s thickest setting. (#1 on mine.) Hold dough vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Turn crank slowly to feed dough oval through roller. Fold resulting dough sheet in half. Cut about ¼” off each side to make it rectangular and thus easier to feed into roller. (This also makes for uniform dough sheets.) Run this folded sheet through roller.
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Dust dough sheet. Set pasta’s setting the next narrower setting. (#2 on mine.) Again, hold dough sheet vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Repeat process, selecting a narrower setting each time, until final pasta sheet is about 1/16″ thick. Repeat entire pasta-sheet preparation until all dough is used. Trim pasta sheets to be 13″ * 4½”. The cutoff pieces of dough can be used to make another sheet.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Grate 2 teaspoons Parmesan. Use no-stick spray on baking dish. Put a layer of lasagna, 2 side-by-side noodles on the dish. If the noodles happen to be longer than your baking dish, snip off the excess length with your scissors. In this recipe, 6 noodles will make one lasagna dish with 2 layers of meat sauce. Reserve about ½ cup meat sauce. Divide remaining meat sauce and cheese equally between layers.
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Cover this 1st layer of noodles with a layer of meat sauce and a layer of cheese. Add a 2nd
layer of noodles, meat sauce, and cheese. Add a 3rd layer of noodles. Spoon just a little meat sauce atop the top layer along with 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Put glass lid or aluminum foil on top of baking dish. Cook lasagna in covered baking dish in oven at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Cook uncovered for an additional 15 minutes or until bubbly. Remove and let sit for 5 minutes more.
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TIDBITS
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1) Lucy Olduvai of Olduvai Gorge was the world’s first human. Her parents were almost human. And oh my gosh, her brother Ogg, older than her by two years, was oh so close to be human. But with Lucy, they had finally got birthing a human right.
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2) But, sad to say, Little Lucy was a brat. She taunted her sibling mercilessly. “You’re subhuman,”  The sensitive Ogg ran crying to Mama Olduvai. Mama Olduvai got cross with Little Lucy. “Go play with that herd of mammoth cattle until you’re ready to apologize to your brother.”
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3) Oh, tidbit 3) proves that the nearly humans and first humans had the power of speech and in fact, could speak English. Well done, you.
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4) Anyway, proud Little Lucy wasn’t ready to apologize. So, she spent a lot of time poking the cattle. Then she started pulling. Fortunately for the ascent of humanity, she didn’t start with a bull. She began with a cow and got milk. “Wow, this tastes great! I call it milk.”
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5) Then she spotted a field of wheat. The equivalent of a light bulb turned on her first-human brain. “I’ll bet if I can get the cattle to stampede over the wheat field, they’ll trample and crush the wheat into flour.*”
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6) * = First Human speech was much complex than was first suspected, constructing complicated sentences with commas and everything.
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7) So, Little Lucy, ran back to her family as fast as her first-human legs would carry her. “Mama, Mama, I’ve discovered milk and wheat. We can evolve.”
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8) Mama Ogg scowled. “Evolution can wait. Are you ready to apologize to Ogg?”
“I am. Sorry Ogg.”
“It’s okay,” said Ogg, “Do you think we could make lasagna? I’ve had visions of it in my sleep?”
“Well,” said Little Lucy, “we need culture to make cheese.”
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9) So, the Olduvai Gorgers invented cave painting and five-act plays. But this was the wrong culture for making cheese out of milk. The next day, however, they discovered the right culture.
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10) The Gorgers, being hunter-gathers, par excellence, gathered eggs, garlic, cloves, onions, grapes, olives, tomatoes, basil, bay leaves, peppercorns, thyme, and salt. With their almost-human synapses firing something fierce, they eventually uncovered the secret of making tasty cheese lasagna. Life was truly good for the Gorgers.
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11) Until the mammoth-cattle herd migrated out of Africa. Oh no! No herd, no milk. No milk, no lasagna. “What’s the point of evolving?” said Papa Ogg, “if we can’t dine on lasagna?”
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12) “Let’s follow the mammoth cattle,” said Little Lucy. “Let’s follow the most important ingredient in lasagna.” so they did. And this is how humanity spread over the entire planet. Yay.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Valentine’s Day Feast

I’m way too tired and my back is too sore to be clever on this post. So, I’ll just describe what I made.

Beverage: Arrowroot custard from St. Vincent

Ingredients were: arrowroot powder, milk, sugar, vanilla extract, and egg yolks.

Dinner: Cheese lasagna

Ingredients were: flour, eggs, egg yolk, water, garlic cloves, white onion, mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, ricotta cheese, red wine, olive oil, spaghetti sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, bay leaf, Italian seasoning, oregano, pepper, salt, and thyme.

Dessert: Angel Food Cupcake with Whipped Cream Frosting

Ingredients were: cake flour, sugar, salt, cream of tartar, egg whites, vanilla extract, water, confectioners’ sugar, heavy whipping cream, vanilla extract, and sprinklies.

Whew.

I hope had a good day.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Navajo Tacos

Navajo Entree

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NAVAJO TACOS

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INGREDIENTS
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1 small onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil.
8 Navajo fry breads (See previous recipe for 4 fry breads and double its ingredients)*
1 pound ground beef
1 15-ounce can pinto beans or red kidney beans, drained
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes (1 more cup later)
1 4-ounce can diced green chiles
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 avocado
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 cup sour cream
1 cup diced tomatoes
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* = Or halve the ingredients in this recipe. You’ll need to find 7.5-ounce cans. Life is hard.
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Serves 8. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Dice onion. Add vegetable oil and oil to pan. Sauté onion at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add ground beef. Cook at medium heat for 3 minutes or until beef is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.
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Add pinto beans, 15-ounce can diced tomatoes, green chiles, chili powder, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt. Stir until well blended. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Cover fry breads with an equal amount of this mixture. Top each covered fry breads with equals amounts of avocado, cheddar cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and 1 cup diced tomatoes.
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TIDBITS
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1) It’s not very well known, but Vincent van Gogh absolutely loved Navajo tacos. In fact, culinary art historians have recently uncovered his Navajo taco still life. Magnificent, isn’t it?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Toasted Rice-and-Bean Burrito

Mexican Entree

TOASTED RICE-AND-BEAN BURRITO

INGREDIENTS

¼ medium onion
½ red bell pepper
1 avocado
¾ cup rice
1½ cups water
1 15-ounce cans pinto beans with jalapeno peppers
1 7-ounce can diced tomatoes
2 ounces Cotija cheese
¼ cup sour cream
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon onion powder
½ cup grated Four Mexican Cheeses
8 medium flour tortillas
8 teaspoons Parmesan cheese
4 slices Swiss cheese

 

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Dice onion and bell pepper. Peel avocado, remove pit, and slice the good part into thin slices. Cut each Swiss cheese slice into 3 strips.

Cook the rice according to instructions shown on bag. (Unless, of course the instructions are in a foreign language. In this horrible case, take the appropriate intensive three-minute foreign language course.) If you are fortunate to own a rice maker, follow its instructions. (If you don’t own a rice maker, ask for one for Christmas. Make gentle hints as well for a gun to protect the first gift from increasingly desperate gangs of rice-maker thieves.)

While rice is cooking, drain water from pinto beans and diced tomatoes. Add onion, bell pepper, pinto beans, diced tomatoes, Mexican cheeses, Cotija cheese, sour cream, cumin, and onion powder to large frying pan. Cook on low-to-medium heat. Stir occasionally. (Unless, of course you are a hibernating polar bear, then just chill.)

When rice is ready, add it to frying pan. Stir. Put about 4 tablespoons of frying-pan mixture in lower-center part of tortilla. Fold edges in and roll up from the bottom. Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Put burrito on cookie sheet with folded side down. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top of burrito.

Put cookie sheet with burritos on it in pre-heated oven. Bake for 10 minutes, or until tortilla or most of the Parmesan cheese is turning golden brown.

Remove cookie sheet from oven and cover the top of each burrito with thin avocado slices. Add a half slice of Swiss cheese on top of each burrito. Bake for 2 minutes or until the Swiss cheese turns brown or begins to melt.

TIDBITS

1) Avocado comes from a Native American word meaning “testicle.” Apparently, they thought avocados looked liked that. My Gosh, these early Americans must really have bulged in their loincloths.

2) Rocky Mountain Oysters are beef testicles. Yuck. Who would eat them? Deliberately?

3) Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company is, not surprisingly, famous for its chocolate.

4) Chocolate has been confirmed to have a slight–-slight means slight, guys-–effect on women. This is why, over the decades, men have given women chocolate when going on dates.

5) And if the woman refuses the chocolate, it wasn’t meant to be and the man has something to eat.

6) But, at least, the man has much higher chance of success with his date if he offers chocolate instead of Rocky Mountain Oysters.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Southwest Stuffed Bell Peppers

American Entree

SOUTHWEST STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

1 green chile
5 green bell peppers
½ red onion
2 garlic cloves
1 cup pepper jack cheese
2 ounces Cotija cheese
1 pound ground turkey
1 7-ounce can diced tomatoes (1 can more later)
4 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
3/4 cup water
4 tablespoons sour cream
2 stalks green onion
1 7-ounce can diced tomatoes
¾ cup water

Serves 5. Takes 55 minutes.

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from green chile. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise. Remove stem, white innards, and seed from green bell peppers. Dice green chile, red onion, garlic cloves, and green onion. Grate or shred pepper jack cheese and Cotija cheese.

In a large frying pan or skillet, cook the turkey, green chile, red onion, and garlic over medium-high heat until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.

Add 7-ounce can diced tomatoes, chili powder, corn starch, cumin, oregano, cayenne, green onion, and 3/4 cup water. Bring to boil then reduce heat. Simmer uncovered for about 15 minutes. (No, this does not mean to get angry and cook in the nude. Sauces can splatter.)

Place bell-pepper halves in a microwavable dish. (You’ll need a 3-to-4 quart dish if you want to use just one.) Add 3/4 cup water to dish. Cover and microwave on high for 7 to 8 minutes. (Microwaves vary in strength, so in general it’s best to heat for a short time, check the food and, if necessary, microwave some more.)

Pour any water out of the bell peppers. Fill each bell-pepper half to the top with ground-beef mixture. Put an equal amount of sour cream, 7-ounce can diced tomatoes, and cheese on the bell peppers.

Serve to adoring guests.

TIDBITS

1) Bell peppers have recessive genes that prevent them from having capsaicin, the stuff that makes other peppers hot.

2) Red bell peppers are important in Portuguese cuisine.

3) In 1801 my great-great-great-grandfather Napoleon I directed an invasion of Portugal by French and Spanish troops.

4) In 1808, Napoleon I invaded Portugal again. Say what you will about his megalomania and the countless deaths he caused, he did possess an admirable work ethic.

5) Oh, and he invaded Spain as well in 1808, unleashing more bloody, unrestrained guerrilla warfare.

6) Strange to say, most Napoleonic historians fail utterly to mention how six years of conflict in that region affected red-bell-pepper production in Portugal.

7) It seems likely, though, that red-pepper planting and harvesting fell precipitously in previously culinarily happy Portugal.

8) One’s mind recoils at the thought of wary-weary Portuguese reduced to eating beef-and-red pepper sandwiches without red peppers.

9) Bad French emperor, no éclaire.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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