How many times has this happened to you? You’re at a party you didn’t really want to attend. You gravitate to a corner of the room. You have nothing to do to pass the time. So you pick your nose. Even though you’re minding your business, some oaf shouts out, “Look at that loser, he’s picking his nose.”
You sense that only if you could come up with a fancy, scientific phrase for nose picking, you could intimidate the clod into silence.
How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously minding your own business when suddenly you acquire a country, a province, or a city. How did you end up with such an expanse of land and the people, economies, and possibly nuclear weapons that go along with it?
Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest you do so.
Perhaps you won it on Let’s Make a Deal(tm). Two of the doors had a garter snake behind them and the other door had a document giving you ownership of a country whose flag is blue and white. You picked door #1. Monte Hall shows you door #3 with the garter snake. He then asks you if you stay with the door you had originally picked or will you know pick door #2. You switch your pick, because you now know the chance of winning a country will be 2/3, whereas if you stay with the first door your odds of winning will only be 1/3. And ha,ha, you are rewarded with your very own country.
Perhaps you earned the little land with your frequent-flyer miles? You flew a lot, didn’t you?
Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.
So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to regaing their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.
That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t new; that it’s really part of either an old and peaceful nation or portfolio. How do you do this?
Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?
May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to comforting blue and white? There are, as of presstime, seven wonderful countries, and one entire world!, that use only blue and white in their banners. Here are my favorite blue-and-white flags in order of coolness and power. And you know the saying, “Comforting and powerful flags, comforting and powerful lands.”
1. The United Nations
The United Nations has flag sports a map of the world surrounded by two olive branches that symbolize peace . The world and the olive branches are both encompassed by a lot of blue. This blue represented the world’s sky, the world’s oceans, or blueberries; I’m not sure. The white color for the lands refer to the white blood cells, that we all have and that crush invading illnesses.
You really can’t go wrong with owning the entire world. You could do anything you wanted, like going to the head of all the lines of Disneyland(tm). Because you possess nuclear weapons and stuff.
2. Martinique
Martinique’s flag is by far the coolest of the blue-and-whites. It has four whites snakes on it, each enclosed in a pool of blue water. These are your body guards. People will never give you any guff, when they know can you release your snakes at the snap of a finger. And wouldn’t you like to live in a guff-free world.
3. Micronesia
Micronesia’s is wonderful in its simplicity. The four stars stand for its four big islands. The blue background represents the Pacific Ocean that connects that or my blueberries. The four stars also invoke the image of a baseball diamond. If you crave simplicity, island paradises, blue oceans lapping at your beach, and blueberries, then this is the country for you.
4. Honduras
Honduras went for the ever popular three horizontal bar theme. A country that makes a safe choice for its flag will be a safe nation to rule. The two blue bars represent the equals sign. Honduras chose the equals sign because they hold everyone to be equal and because the country is simply mathematics mad. The five stars refer to the answer to word problem 14.
5. Finland
Finland plonked down for the blue cross on a white background. The cross refers to the land’s christian heritage. All other Scandanavian countries did the same. Finland picked last, that’s why it picked blue. The white background represents the snow that covers much of the country much of the time. The intersecting blue bars also refer to road intersections. Finland is justly proud of its intersections. If you desire to drive your car in the snow, then, by all means, rule Finland.
6. Shetland
Look at the above flag for Finland. Shetland’s flag is the photo negative of Finland. Culinary flagologists tell us the Shetlanders have to do everything the exact opposite of the Finnish. And vice versa. Except for blueberries, the people of both nations love blueberries. Hence the use of blue in their flags
7. Israel
The star in the middle is the Star of David, a Jewish symbol since the Middle Ages. The two blue horizontal stripes on a white background derive from the traditional Jewish prayer shawl. The color blue represents blueberries and the small blue tassels that male Jews should carry.
8. Greece
Greece’s flag combines the three most popular flag ingredients: the cross, bars, and a love of blueberries. It has it all.
9. Somalia
The theme of Somalia is simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. One white star to represent a white star and a blue background to represent the ocean and blueberries.
Now you know the world’s blue flags. Maybe someday you’ll visit the nations their represent.
2 * ½ cup Mason jars. (They really must be hot and newly sterilized.)
Makes 1 cup. Takes 1 hour.
PREPARATION
Peel dragon fruit. Cut dragon fruit into ½” cubes. Add dragon fruit, lemon juice, and water to pot. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning and until well blended. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes or until dragon fruit become quite soft. Stir enough to prevent burning and until well blended..
Add pectin. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir slowly and just enough to prevent burning. Reduce heat to low-medium for 10 minutes or until pectin dissolves completely. Add sugar. Stir until sugar dissolves completely. Bring to low, or rolling, boil using medium-high heat. Boil for 1 minute. Stir slowly and just enough to prevent burning. Skim off any foam from this jam. Remove from heat.
Spoon jam into hot, newly sterilized Mason jars. Let cool for 10 minutes. Store in refrigerator for 3 weeks.
TIDBITS
1) This recipe uses dragon fruit. Dragon fruit is a tropical fruit chock full of antioxidants, fiber, and iron. It might improve metabolic health, Give it a try.
2) One dragon fruit is not the same as one dragon and one fruit, such as a strawberry. Don’t confuse them. Dragon fruit can be found in supermarket. Dragon fruit will let you take it home with no fuss to speak of.
3) Dragons however remain difficult to find. I’ve seen a feral dragon in some years now. All to be fair, I don’t venture out much anymore. You need to bribe a dragon with a gold coin in order to get it to follow you home. I urge care and speed when cutting a dragon into ½” cubes. They don’t like it! May I suggest first honing your slicing skills with the easy-going strawberry?
How many times has this happened to you? You’re a teetotaling introvert who got invited to to the local Petit Point and Tapestry’s weekly meeting. You decide to attend as you think this will be a rather sedate affair with everyone absorbed in their current project. You arrive. You say hello. Then cases and cases of whiskey arrive. Soon people are taking off their shirts and punching others in their big, stupid noses. One of them grabs you buy the collar to tell you how Sweden got screwed at the Treaty of Wespthalia in 1649. And you know the treaty was signed in 1649. But you don’t care anymore.
You feel your soul wilt to a mere wisp. You want to merge your molecules into that wall to avoid any more human contact. You need to go home. You yearn to recline in your chair, watch Lassie, and sip on a cooling lemonade. But if you up and leave, people will hate you, call you a snob, a lutefisk lover. If only there were a way to quickly leave party hell without becoming a social pariah.
¾ teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice or chicken seasoning
1½ pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
½ green bell pepper
1 orange bell pepper
½ red bell pepper
4½ tablespoons vegetable oil (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
1½ tablespoons lime juice (3 times at 1½ tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon TabascoTM sauce or a Mexican hot sauce
1½ cups lettuce
½ cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
salsa (optional)
SPECIAL UTENSILS
4 nonstick tortilla salad bowl molds (nonstick and oven safe)
mandoline (optional)
lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
PREPARATION – FAJITA SHELLS
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray both sides of tortilla with non-stick spray. Gently push flour tortilla down into tortilla mold. Do this for every tortilla mold. Put tortilla molds in oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until tortilla molds brown around the edges and become crispy.
PREPARATION – FIXINGS
While tortilla bowls bake, make spice mix by whisking together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, poultry spice, and Tabasco sauce. This is the spice mix. Cut chicken into strips ½” wide and 2″ long. Add ⅓ of spice mix to chicken. Mix until chicken is coated with spice.
Mince garlic cloves. Use mandoline to slice the onion into rings. Cut rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with garlic and onion. Use mandoline to slice all the bell peppers into rings. Cut bell-pepper rings into fourths. Combine ⅓ of spice mix with bell peppers.
Add garlic, onion , 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ and tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
Add bell pepper, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan. Add garlic, onion, 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil, ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until bell pepper softens. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
Add chicken strips, tablespoons vegetable oil, and ½ tablespoon lime juice to frying pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until cooked through. Stir frequently. Transfer to bowl on lazy Susan.
Shred lettuce. Put lettuce and cheese in bowls on lazy Susan. Fill tortilla bowl with chicken, onion/garlic, bell pepper, lettuce, and cheese. Arriba.
TIDBITS
1) It is doubtful there ever was a real lazy Susan.
2) To clear the good name of Susan, here is a list of famous Susan singers: Susan Boyle, Susan McFadden, and Suzi Quatro–Okay a variation on Susan, but I listened to her in college, so there.
3) Famous Susan actresses: Susan St. James, Susan Hampshire–I watched her in a Masterpiece Theater series during college; she rocked, Ms. Hampshire–Susan Dey, Susan Lucci, Susan Oliver, Susan Sarandon–star of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show–and Susan Hayward
4) Famous Susan authors: Susan Cheever, Susan Isaacs, Susan Sontag–I have a book of hers sitting on my bookshelf–and Susan Fromberg Schaeffer.
5) Famous U.S. senator: Susan Collins.
6) Famous social reformer and women’s right activist: Susan B. Anthony
7) Famous interdisciplinary structural biologist: Susan S. Taylor
8) Famous dog of Queen Elizabeth II: Susan.
9) Famous Susan mass murderers: None.
10) Famous Susan dictators: None.
11) See? Susans are brilliant and nice. I can vouch for the niceness of every Susan I’ve met.
Sometimes a word is so useful and necessary that it has been crying in the ether to be coined. Once used, we all wonder, “It’s so obvious now. How do we ever get along without that word?”
In today’s blog, we celebrate such an occurrence.
We’ve all found change on the ground. Lucky for us! But not so fortunate for the person who lost the money. We’ve been that person as well. Maybe we lost a dollar. Maybe we lost it in the 60s when we could have purchased a simple board game or even 20 packs of Topps(tm) baseball cards. Most often we lost this change through a hole in our pocket.
Sometimes a word is so useful and necessary that it has been crying in the ether to be coined. Once used, we all wonder, “It’s so obvious now. How do we ever get along without that word?”
In today’s blog, we celebrate such an occurrence.
We’re often told the only way to success, to accomplishment, is by diligent activity and hard work. But sometimes we find great things happen to us by doing absolutely nothing, zilch, didly. Which leads us to:
The Bible has brought good news, comfort, and inspiration to billions of people over the millennia.
That is, if it’s heard correctly during the chuch readings.
Am I the only one, who when little, misheard “peace on” during a Christmas service to be “peas on?” This changed the meaning of the following verse and made the mysteries of the faith even more mysterious.
Here is the real verse:
“Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”
Paul De Lancey's Blog 