Today was a tough day, full of stress. Despite your best intentions, many more things went wrong than right. You desperately need to relax. You need to see a setting Sun.
You need to see #41
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Like can be stressful. Too stressful. A small child relaxes by playing in mud. You need to do the same.
You need to see #29
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Avoid this
I’ve been busy all day: making soap, balancing the checking account, reading, checking up on friends, and cooking up a storm. Time to relax.
So this blog is short. Behave yourself while I gone. Don’t push the Earth out of its orbit and send it spiralling into the Son.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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Just one trial of bath salts can lead to intense withdrawal symptoms such as: physical weakness, shaking, insomnia, visual and auditory hallucinations, panic attacks, paranoia, extreme aggression, and suicidal behavior. Withdrawal symptoms are so nasty that the user often needs another dose to alleviate all these symptoms. Bath salts when put in a bath, however, relax tight muscles, soothe aches, and just overall calm the bather. Although I am loathe to rush to judgment, it does that the bathtub, not inside the body, really is the best place for bath salts.
So it truly was a pleasant surprise when a crook high on bath salts broke into a home in Vandalia, Oho and put up Christmas decorations. There’s no word whether the family appreciated enough this manifestation of the Yuletide spirit to offset the damage caused by the break in.
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Celebrate the drive and determination of the bath-salts burglar with this tasty American entire. It uses 1½ cups coarse salt, enough for even the most ardent salt enthusiast.
True, Thanksgiving won’t be another week or so, but if you look to this plucky fellow for inspiration, you’ll have more than enough energy to make another turkey on Thanksgiving day. You might even find yourself wanting to buy a Christmans tree to decorate. Don’t let Ohio Man down.
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INGREDIENTS – BRINE
1 gallon ice-cold water
2 bay leaves
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon peppercorns
1 teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon mustard
1 teaspoon rosemary
1½ cups coarse salt
½ cup light brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
½ teaspoon thyme
8 pounds thawed turkey breast (for love of God, Montressor, the turkey must be thawed)
INGREDIENTS – COOKING TURKEY
¼ cup butter
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2-to-3 cups chicken broth
SPECIAL UTENSILS
really big pot, 8+ gallons, or turkey bag
spice grinder
large oven-safe pan or casserole dish
wire rack
meat thermometer
Serves 12. Takes 15-to-24 hours
PREPARATION – THAWING TURKEY
A large frozen item like a turkey requires at least a day (24 hours) to defrost in the refrigerator for every 5 pounds of weight.
If you are pressed for time, use this quicker defrosting method. Keep turkey in packaging and add it to a large pot. Cover turkey with ice-cold water. Let turkey sit in cold water for 30 minutes per pound. In this recipe, that would be 4 hours. Pour out water.
But the turkey must be thawed before cooking. Or there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
PREPARATION – BRINE
Crumble bay leaves. Mince garlic cloves. Grind peppercorns. Remove packaging from turkey and rinse in cold water. Add brine ingredients except turkey to pot. Stir until salt and sugar dissolve. Add turkey. Add ice-cold water as needed to cover turkey. Cover pot or close turkey bag and refrigerate for at least 12 hours but not more than 24.
PREPARATION – COOKING TURKEY
Remove turkey from brine and pat dry. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put turkey in large pan. Melt butter. Brush melted butter onto turkey. Sprinkle pepper and salt onto turkey. Place wire rack in pan. Put turkey on rack. Put meat thermometer in thickest part of turkey. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Reduce heat to 325 degrees. Bake for 2-to-3 hours or until meat thermometer reads 165 degrees. Baste with ½ cup of chicken broth after every 30 minutes of baking at 325 degrees.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
All people need to relax. So do chicken eggs. They have their whole lives in front of them. What will it be like? They don’t know. Scary. They need to spend their last pre-coming out moments letting their hair down. So where do they go? To a sauna! The picture below show eggs chilling in a South Korean* sauna. Proof you cannot deny.
You Need to See #22
* = It might true that North Korean eggs also frequent saunas. I tend to doubt it. North Korea is under a brutal, repressive dictatorship.
P.S. It’s not yet clear why the groups of three thing is so prevalent among sauna-going eggs.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Life is stressful. Sometimes the stress can overwhelm us. We need to plant a happy, peaceful image in our mind. Something that reminds us that blissful serenity still exists in our hectic world. Look at the picture below. Picture yourself in your own little hut, cut off from the hustle and bustle of city. Gaze on the clear, blue water. Picture your cares being washed away as you wade into the lagoon. The mostly clear, blue sky reminds us that for the moment, our cares are in the distance. And even those small clouds shall soon blow away.
Relax. Enjoy. Refresh.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Relax while competing! Enter the Finnish Sauna World Championship. Simply stay the longest inside Finnish sauna in a temperature of 110 degrees centigrade, 240 degrees Fahrenheit.
Thousands attend the championship in Heinola, Finland, but only dozens compete. Why? Because the temperature of the sauna is 28 degrees over the boiling point of water. But there’s no humidity! It’s true, sauna’s humidity is low, running from 10-to-25 percent. So give it a whirl. Compete!
Or maybe not, in 2010 a contest died. Staying a sauna too long can do nasty things to a body. Spectate!
But maybe you have a competitive nature, while having the inactive disposition of a rock. Then this competition is for you. Compete!
Maybe you like the idea of thousands of spectators and TV audiences watching your nearly naked, sweaty body, covered with only a towel. Compete!
It’s held in August, when it’s outside anyway. Compete!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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