Posts Tagged With: recipes

How I Gave Up Fomenting Revolution

It’s pretty much inevitable. If I have too much time on my hands, I will take to the streets and foment revolution. Law enforcement frowns on revolutionary acts. My neighbors wouldn’t like it; you should see their tidy lawns and beautiful gardens.

What to do? Fill my time with worthy activities, of course. This was easy when I worked and help my kids grow up. Then I retired and my children moved out. Suddenly, entire days freed up. I came so close to rushing out the front door, provocative banner in hand, ready to stir up things.

But I got hungry. And I wanted something different to eat. So threw myself into looking up exotic meals, putting together recipes, and cooking and publishing them. I also developed more aches and pains. Many of these necessitated seeing a doctor. However, you can never really count on your body parts declaring war on you. The day the only thing keeping you from torching parked cars, will be the day your body will feel fine.

So I needed another deversion, another hobby. I am now making my own specialty soaps. Most soaps will be for me, with the rest given away, I have once again filled my with productive things to do.

Our republic is once more secure from unrest.

 

My first homemade soaps. These are Lemon, Poppy Seed, Goat’s Milk

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Misheard Lyrics of the Beach Boys

Whew! I almost forgot about blogging tonight as I was making Boston Brown Bread and watching Harvard Beats Yale 29-29.

Anyway, did any of you ever thoink the Beach Boys sang “ape” instead of “ace” in the song “Fun, Fun, Fun.” Didn’t it change the meaning of the song just a bit? You bet.

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See what I mean? Quite honestly, I don’t see a second date in this man’s future.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Francesinha

Portuguese Entree

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FRANCESINHA

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INGREDIENTS – STEAK AND SAUSAGE
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¾ pound flank steak or flap steak
1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil
2 linguica or andouille sausages
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE
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1½ tablespoons butter (½ tablespoon more later)
½ teaspoon minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced onion
¾ teaspoon piri piri or red pepper flakes
¼ cup beef broth
6 tablespoons  crushed tomatoes
¼ cup beer
½ tablespoon port or red wine
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INGREDIENTS – FINAL
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4 slices bread
1 cup frozen French fries
½ tablespoon butter
1 egg
4 slices (about 1 ounce each) Pecorino, Parmesan, Asiago, Romano, or your favorite cheese
4 slices ham, sliced medium thick
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – STEAK AND SAUSAGE
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Cut sausages in half lengthwise. Toast bread. Add oil to pan. Heat using medium-high heat. Oil is hot enough when a bit of bread in the oil starts to dance. Add flank steak. Sauté for 2-to-5 minutes, depending on how you like your steak. Flip. Sauté for 2-to-5 minutes more. It should be browned on both sides. Remove steak and cut in half, and set aside.
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Add sausage halves to pan. Sauté for 2 minutes. Flip. Sauté for 2 minutes more. It should be browned a little on both sides. Remove sausage halves and set aside.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE
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Add 1½ tablespoons butter, garlic, and onion to large, 2nd  pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add beef broth, crushed tomatoes, and piri piri flakes. Bring to boil. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add beer and wine. Let simmer on low for 12 minutes. Stir occasionally.
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PREPARATION – FINAL
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While sauce simmers, cook French fries according to instrustions on package Melt ½ table-spoon butter at medium heat in 3rd pan. Add egg and fry until done to your liking. Cut egg in half.
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Top bread slice with 2 cheese slices. Top cheese with ½ of the ham. Place steak half on ham. Place 2 sausage halves on steak. Place bread slice on sausage. Put egg half on top slice of bread. Cut sandwich in half. Ladle sauce over sandwich halves. Repeat for 2nd sandwich. Serve with fries on the side..
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TIDBITS
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1) Pablo Picasso was born in 1881. He was a great painter. The best. He earned the moniker the “The Big Man of Painting.” His friends called him Big Bad Pablo, or simply Big Bad.
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2) Culinary art historians credit Picasso with founding the Cubist Movement in 1870.
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3) Since 1870 was a full eleven years before Big Bad’s birth, I’m sure you will agree this was quite the achievement.
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4) Observers, some sane and some not,. hold that the Cubist Movement inspired the creation of the sugar cube, Rubik’s(tm) cube, and the car called the Cube(tm).
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5) Oh, and cube roots The cube root of 343 is 7.
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6) To the right is one of Picasso’s most famous paintings. It sold for 13.5 pounds.
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7) Oops, that’s 13.5 millions pounds. Editors are important.
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8) However, Pablo’s best painting is the still life, “Francesinha,” painted during his Portugese years. Francesinha is a Portuguese sandwich. Big Bad loved it. That’s why he moved to Portugal for six years. You can see the painting below and to the right
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9) I have never have made it as big as Picasso in the art world*. However, I’m proud of my recipes, food blogs, and cookbooks. And it’s all because his “Francesinha” spurred me to take up cooking.
* = As of press time.
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10) Picasso’sfirst name, Pablo, translates to Paul in English. Paul is my first name. So, that’s another connection between the renowned artist and me.
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11) For more information on Picasso’s life and artistic influence, you would do well to purchase a copy of Asa Metrics’, Pablo Picasso, A Life Lived from Birth to Death.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Behave Yourselves

Avoid this

I’ve been busy all day: making soap, balancing the checking account, reading, checking up on friends, and cooking up a storm. Time to relax.

So this blog is short. Behave yourself while I gone. Don’t push the Earth out of its orbit and send it spiralling into the Son.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Nasalaugh

Nearly all of us have, at one time or another, have had laugh so hard that it became embarrassing. Strange to say, there’s no word for it.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

Nasalaugh

Awesome entry #11

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Plend

Nearly all of us have, at one time or another, blended ingredients to make smoothies, cakes, stews, or other culinary delights. These beverages, desserts, or entrees turned out quite tasty. But what about the blending process itself? How did that make you feel? There’s simply no word for this concept.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

Plend

Awesome entry #10

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Paneer Bhuna Masala

Indian Entree

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PANEER BHUNA MASALA
(This is spicy!)

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INGREDIENTS
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½ pound paneer*
4 onions
4 tomatoes
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
3 green chiles
2 dried red chiles
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
½ teaspoon mustard seeds
2 bay leaves
1″ cinnamon stick
2 cloves
½ tablespoon minced garlic
½ teaspoon minced ginger
1 tablespoon Kashmiri red chili powder**
2 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon chili powder
¾ teaspoon turmeric
½ cup water
2 teaspoons coriander
¾ teaspoon fenugreek leaves
¾ teaspoon garam masala
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* = Can be found at Asian supermarkets or online. Substitute with feta, mozzarella, ricotta, queso blanco, or cottage cheese.
** =  Can be found at Asian supermarkets or online. Substitute with an equal mixture of paprika and cayenne or with ancho chili powder.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION
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Cut into paneer into ¾” cubes. Mince onions and tomatoes. Dice cilantro and green chiles. Crumble red chiles Add 2 teaspoons vegetable oil, cumin seeds and mustard seeds to medium pan. Sauté at medium-high heat until seeds start to flutter, crackle, and pop. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add bay leaves, cinnamon, cloves, garlic, ginger, Kashmiri red chili, green chile, and red chile. Reduce heat to low. Simmer at low heat for 2 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Remove from heat.
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Add 2 tablespoons ghee and onion to large pan. Sauté at medium-high for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato, chili powder, pepper, salt, turmeric, and seeds/garlic /ginger/seed mixture from medium pan to large pan. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 5 minutes or until liquid thickens into gravy. Stir enough to prevent burning.
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Add paneer cubes and water. Raise heat to medium and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add coriander, fenugreek leaves, and garam masala. Stir until well blended. Remove cinnamon stick and bay leaves.
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Garnish with cilantro. Goes well with naan bread.
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TIDBITS
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1) This vegetarian entree is so tasty.
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2) But it wasn’t originally meant to be vegetarian.
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3) Chef Ishaan Banerjee had planned to feature urban pea hens in his dish, Urban Pea Hen Masala.
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4) Because they have a nutty flavor.
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5) And taste like chickens.
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6) But especially like pea hens.
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7) Pea hens are called “pea hens” because they are quite round, like peas.
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8) Or round like bowling balls.
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9) Well-trained pea hens command a premium in the All India Pea Hen Bowling League (AIPHBL.)
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10) Urban pea hens can fly up to 100 mph. Rural pea hens are slightly slower than urban cousins and less urbane as well.
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11) Air forces the world round, are striving mightily to discover the pen hens’ secret. As of press time, their method remains an enigma.
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12) The pea hen’s velocity enabled this poultry to escape Chef Banerjee’s proposed entree. No pea hens, no Pea Hen Masala, urban or rural.
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13) Ishaan sought temporary respite from his woes through the manly pursuit of anagrams.
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14) Yo ho! Chef Banerjee discovered that an anagram of Urban Pea Hen is “Paneer Bhuna.”
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15) Why not substitute paneer for pea hens? He did. It tasted great.
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16) Now Chef Ishaan Banerjee and his culinary masterpiece Panner Bhuna Masala are famous all over the world. Yay, for he is a rather nice guy.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Club Hell

Ancient Greek Hell (Hades) was a paler, grayer version of life on Earth. Everything was less substantial. Whereas on Earth, you could bench press 600 pounds, you’d be hard pressed to pick up a package from Amazon(tm). And my, its sky was perpetually overcast and gray, like a winter in Wisconsin or the Netherlands.

You wouldn’t like the Christian Hell of the Middle Ages either. Sure you felt much more energetic, but that was only so you acutely feel your skin bubbling from Hell’s intense fires.

So, both places suck.

But what if? What if you could merge the Greek hell with that Medieval hell? The temperatures would even out to a nice temperate temperature of say, 74 degrees. All the time. The Greek gray would be cancelled by the Hellish red of Middle Europe. This would certainly result in blue skies. It would. It would. You’d have Hell’s energy allied with Hades’ buff bods. What could be better than having a magnificent body on a lush, tropical island?

Club Hell(tm), people are dying to go there.

 

Greek hell                 and medieval Christian Hell yields                  Club Hell

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Anti-productivity

We’ve all heard of productivity. We all know what it means. If we earned advanced degrees in economics or business,  this concept enters our dreams in dark and mysterious ways nearly every night.

Strange to say, use of productivity’s opposite is virtually non-existent.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

Anti-productivity

Awesome entry #9

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Spam and Egg Musubi

Hawaiian Appetizer

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SPAM AND EGG MUSUBI

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INGREDIENTS
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1 cup sushi rice*
4 Nori (seaweed) sheeta
4 eggs
1½ tablespoons mirin**
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
no stick spray
1 12-ounce can SPAM(tm)
4 teaspoons furikake seasoning*** (½ teaspoon at a time) (optional)
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* = Substitute rices are: arborio, pudding, short-grain white, risotto, or cauliflower
** = Substitutes are: rice wine vinegar, white wine vinegar, white wine, sake, or dry sherry
*** = May be found online Or 2 teaspoons crumbled Nori and 2 teaspoons sesame seed.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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musubi mold (can be found online) or empty SPAM can.
2 12″-or-wider pans
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Serves 8. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION
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Cook rice according to instructions on package. Cut Nori sheets into strips, each one about 2½”-to-3″ wide, Add eggs to mixing bowl. Scramble thoroughly with whisk or fork. Add mirin, soy sauce, and sugar to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until sugar dissolves completely.
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Cut SPAM into 8 equal slices along its width, each one about ⅜” wide, Spray large (12″) pan with no-stick spray. Add mixed eggs. Cover and fry  at low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until eggs set and achieve your desired level of doneness.  Remove eggs and set aside.
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Add SPAM slices to second 12″ pan. Fry at medium-heat for 3 minutes or until bottom of SPAM slices become crisp and start to brown. Flip SPAM slices. Fry at medium-heat for 1 minute 30 seconds or until new bottom of SPAM slices become crisp and start to brown. Reduce heat to low. Let pan cool for 1 minute. Ladle mirin/soy/sugar sauce over SPAM. Cook SPAM for 30 seconds on each side or until sauce thickens.
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Put scrambled eggs on flat surface. Use knife and musubi mold to make 8 egg cutouts that have the same shape as the SPAM slices
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Put Nori strip shiny side down on flat surface. Put mold on the middle of the Nori strip. (The length of the mold should stick out just a bit from the sides of the strip.) Place SPAM in mold. Put an egg cutout on SPAM in mold. Sprinkle egg with ½ teaspoon furikake. Put ¼ cup cooked rice into the mold. Level rice with spoon. Press down evenly with musubi mold until rice becomes molded and compact.
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Wrap Nori strip around stack. Put some grain of rice on the Nori strip where it comes together. Gently press the ends of the Nori strip together to make a seal. This is the musubi. Gently flip the musubi so that the Nori seal is on the bottom.
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TIDBITS
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1) SPAM and Egg Musubi looks like a bar of soap. This is no accident!
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2) The ancient Sumerians, way back before your parents we born, loved to be clean. But how could they? Dust storms stormed through the land depositing layers of dust deep enough on the inhabitants to impress even the most ardent archeologist.
3) Then on July 3, 2473 BC, a textile worker cried out to the earth goddess Ki, “My life sucks.” “Yes, child,” said Ki, “what troubles you so?”
“ I hate my name. It’s Ninsun. It means ‘wild lady cow.’”
“Oh my gosh,” said Ki, “from now on you shall be known as ‘Betty.’ It means ‘God is my oath.”
“Cool.” But Betty still fretted.
“What else disturbs you, child?”
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4) “I want to be beautiful. I wish to attract, Anzu the hunter. How can I do that when I’m perpetually caked in dirt?”
“Ah,” said the goddess, you are a textile worker, are you not?”
5) Synapses fired lickety split in Betty’s brain, for she was smarter than the average Sumerian textile worker. “Aha! “The fatty lanolin from the wool vats would work wicked wonders  as a cleaning agent and when added to lanoliney  water would create liquid soap. I can wash myself clean. I can get Anzu to be my husband. Cowabunga!”
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6) Betty and Anzu gave birth to a baby girl, Nanshe.  Nanshe next noticed nicely that when the liquid in the soapy dried out it became soap bars. The Soap-Nori Road would be born the next morning. This is why we know of Nanshe.
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7) Nanshe also sagely saw something soap shaped, but with egg and SPAM wrapped in Nori would be quite exciting and tasty. Especially so, when you considered that the average Sumerian meal consisted of bread, porridge, bread, and porridge.
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8) But it took years to trade for nori on the Soap-Nori Road. And there was no such thing as SPAM. However, the SPAM-and-Egg Musubi dream never died out.
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9) SPAM would be invented in 1937, and SPAM and Egg Musubi came about in the early 1980s.
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10) We are living in a golden age.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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