Posts Tagged With: recipes

Pearl Sugar

Posted on July 3, 2023 by pauldelancey

Belgian Dessert*

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PEARL SUGAR

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INGREDIENTS
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3 cups sugar
3½ tablespoons water
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Takes 40 minutes. Make 3½ cups.
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* = Belgian pearl sugar is larger than the Swedish variety and resembles pearly white pebbles. It’s sugar, if you can find it, has large granules made from sugarbeets. The Belgian variety is best for Liege, or Belgian, waffles. Swedish pearl sugar, pärlsocker, has smaller sugar granules. Use Swedish pearl sugar to top pastries, cakes, and breads.
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PREPARATION
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Add both ingredients to 2 large pans. Mix with wooden spoon or spatula. Use low heat. Stir constantly until clumps start to form. (If too much loose sugar remains, add 1 more teaspoon sugar and stir again.) Try for larger clumps if you want Belgian pearl sugar and smaller clumps if you’re going for Swedish pearl sugar.
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When happy with clump sizes, dry them out over low heat for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and let cool until clumps harden.
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TIDBITS
1) Swedish pearl sugar granules are small. Belgian pearl sugar granules are big. But are they the world’s biggest?  No. Sugarologists say Tahitian granules are 23-to-25 percent than those from Belgium.
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2) Culinary historians says the largest pearl sugar granule came from Greenland during the Viking Age. Please Bengt Erickson’s The Sugar Cane Fields of Greenland’s East Settlement, (Sockerrörsfälten i Grnlands Östra Bosättning.)
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3) Erickson raised cane from 1012 to 1025. His success encouraged hundreds of other Swedish Vikings to voyage over and do the same. Unfortunately, so many came to harvest sugar that they completely chopped down all the trees in Greenland’s vast forest just to build their log cabins.
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4) What, you you’ve never heard of the Great Greenlandic Forest? You say that aren’t any trees there? Sure, now.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Candidate Paul Fights for American Motorists

Posted on July 1, 2023 by pauldelancey

Consider all the things that infuriate you every day. Does the present lot of politicians ever propose anything to help end such frustration?

They do not.

America clearly needs me to be its president. Right away.

If elected, I will . . .

If elected #2

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­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loco Moco

Posted on June 30, 2023 by pauldelancey

Hawaiian Entree

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LOCO MOCO

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INGREDIENTS – RICE & PATTY­
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1⅔ cups rice
1 small onion (½ small onion more later)
1 pound ground beef (80%-to-85%)
¾ teaspoon garlic salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon Worcestershire sauce (1 teaspoon more later)
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INGREDIENTS – GRAVY
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1½ tablespoons butter (softened)
½ small onion
1¾ cups beef broth
1½ tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon ketchup
4 teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
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INGREDIENTS – FINAL
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4 eggs
1 green onion
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Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION – RICE & PATTY
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Cook rice according to instructions on package. Mince 1 small onion. Add all patty ingredients to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form into 4 patties, each 3″ wide. Smooth the edges. Add patties to large pan. Fry at medium heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties and fry for 5 minutes more. (More or less time) Remove patties. Keep drippings in pan.
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PREPARATION – GRAVY
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Mince ½ small onion. While patties cook, add all gravy ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add gravy to pan. Sauté for 4 minutes or until onion softens and gravy thickens. Stir occasionally.
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PREPARATION – FINAL
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While patties and gravy cooks, add eggs to 2nd frying pan. Fry eggs to your liking. Put 1 cup steamed rice on plate. Smooth the edges into a circle about 3″ across, Top rice with patty. Ladle ¼th of the gravy onto patty. Place fried egg on gravy. Repeat three times. Dice green onion. Garnish eggs with green onion.
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TIDBITS
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1) About 50 years ago, Om Corporation(tm), Om Co., dominated all other Hawaiian food distributers.
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2) Stop and ponder how cool is it to live in a universe where there is a word that has the sequence “aiia,” in it.
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3) We are truly fortunate that over billions–or maybe just ten millions of years, I really don’t for sure how may years as I wasn’t there–that Earth’s plates shifted in such a way that Hawaii formed. With-out Hawaii, there be no word Hawaii, and thus no word with out aiia in it. We certainly have no Hawaiian pizzas. Nor ever Hawaiian luaus. That would have been a great loss indeed.
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4) But how would we have known what we would be missing from the loss of Hawaiian luaus? Maybe things would have gotten something better in return.
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5) Like Greek luaus for example. Especially likely, if Greece could grow pineapples.
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6) Anyway, Om Co., or Omco as people who hate spaces used to call it, developed the very first Hawaiian pizza boomerang pizza.
“I want a Hawaiian pizza.”
“But I want a functioning boomerang.”
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7) “Wait, both your desires will be fulfilled with Omco’s new and exciting Hawaiian boomerang pizza. Take a bite. Mmm, wasn’t delicious. Now, fling the boomerang. It’ll come back. But in the meantime, you can continue your statewide volleyball tournament. You don’t want to miss that. After you’ve spiked the volleyball down the other team’s throats, wait a second and your boomerang pizza will come back to your hand. Take another tasty bite and fling the boomerang pizza away again. Pizza and high-stakes volleyball at the same time. Way cool. Way cool.”
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8) In fact the boomerang pizza was so cool, that Hawaiians took to calling, Om. Co, “Cool Omco.” Dyslexics, over time, changed this name to “Cool Moco.” The next generations of dyslexic Hawaains altered this to “Loco Moco.”
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9) The name stuck. And a bit later Om Corporation held a recipe contest to honor its golden anniversary.
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10) Carl La Fong won first prize with this entree. He called it “Loco Moco “in honor of Om Co.’s stellar culinary reputation. There you go, innovative chefs and companies and plucky dyslexics* making life a little better.
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11) * = I am slightly dyslexic. Maybe this explains things.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I hope I Have Enough Quarters

Posted on June 26, 2023 by pauldelancey

Not too far from where I live is a business called “Coin Mart Jewelry.”

They sell valuable coins. They have a market for coins, hence “Coin Mart.”

They also sell jewelry, which is why that word is also in their name.

­However,  my first impression was that you needed coins to buy jewelry at their mart, just like at one time you had to have four quarters to buy a cheese sandwich, In this case, buying a $4,000 diamond necklace would require 16,000 quarters. I imagine it would be frustrating to discover that after putting in 15,999 quarters into the slot, that you were one quarter short. Look at the vending machine below and mentally replace the sandwich with a pearl necklace. Such is the way I think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Motivating You With Slogans, #1

Posted on June 24, 2023 by pauldelancey

Life is hard. We bow our head against the fierce wind battering our face. We want to give up.

If only we had a slogan to motivate us.

And here it is:

Motivational Slogan #1

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: motivational slogan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Bloval

Posted on June 23, 2023 by pauldelancey

We’ve all done pointless, but difficult things. Perhaps it was completely filling in the “o”s i  War and Peace. Perhaps it was balancing an egg. Perhaps it was balancing an egg on its pointy end. The skill and determination needed to bring these efforts to a success are truly worthy of our praise, if only they weren’t so useless.

But we don’t have a word to describe these utterly unimportant achievements.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

bloval

Awesome entry #15

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angry Man Rants About the Post Office

Posted on June 22, 2023 by pauldelancey

This happens all too often. And not only with the Post Office.

Angry Man #24

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Tidyfinding

Posted on June 19, 2023 by pauldelancey

The surest way to lose something is to misplace it. Then put something else on top of it You can’t see the thing you want to find because it’s covered. You don’t even know where to start looking as you weren’t paying attention when you put it down. Where did it go? The only way to find it is to clean house until you see it. If you discover it early in your cleaning then, hurray, you’ll have time for other projects. If however, you have to tidy up for hours, then you’ll gain a home that’s will sparkle with cleanliness. King Charles III will be proud to accept your invitation. It’s a win-win situation. But we don’t have a word to describe this process.

It’s high time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

tidyfinding

Awesome entry #13

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Soaphenge

Posted on June 18, 2023 by pauldelancey

Everyone knows about Stonehenge. It looks way cool. We wonder how it was constructed.

Not all henges were made of stone. Some were made of wood as in the not quite as famous Woodhenge. All henges are circular or ovalar. (Note, ovalar means to be shaped like an oval and is not at all like “ovular” which has to do with “ovum,” “ovulating,” and other similar words. Stonehenge was not built to track Queen Mahb’s menstrual cycles.)

Anyway, what was the purpose of these henges?

Many people hold the reason for Stonehenge was to track the movement of the Sun and the seasons. It certainly does that. However, other theories abound. Most likely henges were ancient burial grounds or a place for complex rituals and ceremonies designed to honor the dead. If in England, you really should visit Stonehenge and the other henges.

However, traveling to Stonehenge is time consuming and expensive if you live in America. Especially if you live in California?  What do you do then?

May I suggest taking a trip to Poway, California to see its renowned Soaphenge.

What is the significance of Soaphenge? – To honor the prehistoric gods of cleanliness by bathing with soap.

Why aren’t any other soaphenges? – After a point, quite a soap henges disappeared to nothing after enough ceremonial baths. Furthermore, soap henges in rainy regions simply dissolved into suds after fierce rainstorms.

So see Soaphenge now! You’ll be glad you did.

 

Soaphenge used huge blocks made from shea butter, cinnamon, cinnamon essential oil, and brown coloring.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Boston Brown Bread

Posted on June 17, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

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BOSTON BROWN BREAD

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INGREDIENTS
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1 tablespoon butter
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup yellow cornmeal
¾ cup rye flour
½ cup whole wheat flour
½ cup raisins (optional)
1¼ cups buttermilk
½ cup molasses
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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3 coffee cans (Use the 14.5 ounce size or as near as you can get.)
aluminum foil
kitchen twine
8″*13″ casserole dish
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Serves 8.  Takes 2 hours 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease coffee cans with butter. Add allspice, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cornmeal, rye flour, wheat flour, and raisins (optional) to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended..
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Boil water. Add buttermilk, molasses, and vanilla  to medium mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add buttermilk into large bowl containing dry ingredients. Gently mix with spatula until just combined. This is the batter.
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Spoon batter equally into the 3 coffee cans. The batter should not reach higher than ⅔ the way up the cans. Cover the top of the cans will aluminum. Tie aluminum securely to the cans with kitchen twine. Add cans to casserole dish. Put casserole on middle rack in oven. Leave rack partway out. Pour boiling water into casserole dish until the water level is ¾ the way up to the top of the dish. (This method is safer and easier than lifting a dish full of boiling water into the oven.)
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Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour 20 minutes or until the top of a loaf will spring back when lightly touched or until loaves start to pull away from coffee cans. Remove aluminum foil. Place cans on cooling rack. Let cool for 1 hour. Turn over cans and tap the bottom to cans to get loaves to slide out. Goes well with cream cheese or baked beans.
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TIDBITS
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1) Boston Brown Bread is round. This is no accident.
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2) Bread Bread , however, is rectangular and made from bits and pieces of other bread loaves.
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3) Ned Ted Dredd bakes the most famous Bread Bread.
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4) It is said that Ned hails from Jamaica and wears dreadlocks. He’a also kinda scary. People dread seeing his dreads coming toward them.
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5) And that he is also a medical student at Kingston’s prestigious Kedd Medical University. It’s buildings are painted red to get its premeds used to the sight of blood.
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6) So, by all means visit Kedd Med Dread Dread Ned Ted Dredd’s Bread Bread Bakery.
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7) Any back in Boston, keen, lean, and mean Bob “Beantown” Beanstalk was drilling for samples deep into the Earth’s crust.
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8) For he was a, was a …
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9) Crustologist. You know the sort that drill into the crust looking for things that interest an amazingly small number of people.
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10) Anyway, “Beantown” was hopping–no, it’s spelled hoping–to find beetle exoskeletons in his core sample from one-mile down.
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11) For it’s well known that Ancient Egypt’s pharaohs and priests were absolutely gaga about beetles. They bred beetles to be pets. They held beetle relay races on religious holidays, They used rubies to fashion jewelry to look like beetles.
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12) Anyway, Beanstalk believed pharaohs dated back 10,000,009 years. Then if he could find similarly ancient beetles ‘neath the streets of Boston, then he would prove that Egypt was at one time adjacent to what is now New England.
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13) Incoming news! Just before press time, Boston Public Works just fired Bob Beanstalk. No reason was given.
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14) But just before getting the sack, and just before lunchtime, a hungry Bob looked at a brown, round soil sample. “Boy,” he said, “I am really hungry for some good, fresh bread.”
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15) As it so happened, Beanstalk’s wife  had filled his lunch pail with: butter, allspice, baking powder, salt, cornmeal, rye flour, whole wheat flour, raisins, buttermilk, molasses, vanilla extract, an 8″*13″ casserole dish, 3 round cans of coffee, aluminum foil, kitchen twine, six gallons of water, and two bunsen burners. After drinking all that coffee, frenetic Beantown’s synapses fired at an alarming rate and he soon created the first Boston Brown Bread out of the contents of his lunch pail.
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16) Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Chatting With Chefs, cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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