OMG, danger!
Sure, lots of things can be good for you, when you do them. Eating mushrooms and lutefisk come to mind. They’re might be some nutritional benefits to eating them, but they are yucky in so many ways. And don’t forget lutefisk and mushrooms are the Devil’s tools. Do you really want to spend your afterlife in eternal torment on a lower level of Hell just to extend your life by 2.67 days?
Similarly, you can get your exercise by running, but the thing about running is that if you stop running for even moment, you will stop. It’s not like riding a bike where you can coast for twenty seconds at a time. The ability to coasting on bicycles is the primary that brains got bigger and bigger all the way back to Lucy of Olduvai Gorge to now.
This is not to say, it’s a bad thing to think about getting vitamins and exercise. Positive thinking always helps one’s self esteem and esteem. Just don’t overdo things by actually doing them.
LIST OF THINGS TO THINK ABOUT , BUT NOT DO.
1) Running – Can make you healthier in the long run, sure. But in the short run, you get exhausted and feel sad about your weak body. You go home, flop face down onto your bed, and spiral ever downward into a bottomless well of depression. Besides, you might hurt your feet and knees. Before you know it, you’re a protoplasmic pool of depressed goo. Just think happy thoughts of running a marathon.
2) Taking oodles of herbal supplements – Many herbal supplements can help you. Some are untested. Some have been found to contain ground up grass and rice. Boo! But the main worry arising from swallowing a bowl of supplements the size of Rhode Island is that your brain, your psyche, and indeed your very soul will rebel against this pill tsunami to such an exent that your mouth will flat out refuse to take one more supplement. (You’ll even write run-on sentences.) Soon you won’t be able to take vitamins, even gummy vitamins! This rebellion soons spreads to your temperment. Don’t be surprised if you go vigilante against peope with bad grammar or mismatched socks. Take it easy with supplements. Better yet, remain on an even keel and take none. Besides, there’s the omnipresent worry about choking to death on a multitude of such pills.
What to do when a supplement fiend asks you how many herbal-supplements you take? Simple, lie and say you take lots. Isn’t lying a sin? Yes, but murdering people who wear mismatched socks an even bigger one. I think you know the answer.
Remember, it’s healthier to think than to do.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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