I’m proud to admit I’m a bit weird. The world needs more weirdness. Indeed, I saw the picture below and immediately thought the penguins were looking for a lost set of car keys. And it struck me funny.
Looking for lost car keys
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Often enough, I only need a half gallon of milk, four sticks of butter, or a pound of cheese. Sure I could drive to the store, but it hardly seems worthwhile for just a half gallon of milk when the whole process of driving to the supermarket, parking, finding the milk, checking out, leaving the parking lot, and driving home.
If only there were a simple, convenient way to buy a small amount of dairy. Oh wait, there was. We called him the milkman. We place an order on our door step and he’d bring it from the stores of his truck.
Easy peasy.
And quite often the milkman brought other products as well. Here’s what I remember about the milkmen from the various towns of my youth.
Arcadia, California: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter.
Earlwood, Australia: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter and eggs.
Voorburg, Netherlands: The milk truck carried: milk, eggs, cheese, cans of soups, soda, and beer! I believe the milkman also delivered juice and jams.
I want a milkman who will bring all the items his counterpart in the Netherlands did. I want it! I want it!
Going to the store takes too long, cars are driven by nuts, and the stores are far too peoply.
I am willing to pay more for this service than from stores. I worked and saved all my life so I can now afford this service to my door.
Please make this happen. Thank you.
And please also let me know what your milkman delivered? Thanks again.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Awesome entry #26
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Do they really want to always hire a retired, card-carrying introvert whose back hurts after standing on his feet for more than 10 minutes?
Besides:
“I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”
— Groucho Marx
Uh oh
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
How do we know if something is the best thing in the last 100 years?
Simple:
Is it the greatest thing since sliced bread?
No other comparisons matter.
The ultimate measure of greatness
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The wonderful Jan and Dean had a hit with their great song “Poor Little Puppet.”
Am I the only one who thought this duo sang “licks” instead of “pulls?” It kinda changes the meaning a bit, makes it racier in fact. And honestly, wouldn’t you think a beautiful woman licking her finger at you is a pretty strong sign? Can you blame the man who sees the finger-licking good sign and becomes her puppet?
Here are the real lyrics:
Misheard lyrics #12
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The superb Moody Blues had a hit with the great song “Nights in White Satin.”
Now, with most of my misheard lyrics, I eventually found out the correct words. However, I hereby swear to you that until yesterday, I thought they sang “knights” instead of “nights.” Not only does this change the song’s meaning somewhat, but it also completely upends my understanding of the universe. I mean, is nothing unchanging? Is there nothing immutable we can cling to in times of turmoil? Egad.
Here are the real lyrics:
“Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end
Letters I’ve written
Never meaning to send”
Misheard lyrics #11
Which version do you prefer?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
1) I forget the year, but the San Diego Chargers were essentially one play away from making it to the Super Bowl. They had their best team ever.
The situation: The Chargers were leading the New England Patriots by less than a touchdown. Tom Brady was driving the Patriots toward a game-leading touchdown. They had not enough time for another possession. It was a 4th town and perhaps 25 yards to a first down. Brady passed the ball downfield. The Charger defender intercepted the ball. Then he inexplicably tried to make yardage on his interception. Someone on the Patriots stripped the ball. Another Patriot recovered the ball. A few plays later, Brady threw for a touchdown. The Patriots went to the Super Bowl. The San Diego Chargers didn’t. In fact, they would never go to the Super Bowl before leaving town.
HOW I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS FOOTBALLER
1) I would not have caught the ball. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.
2) I would not have even tried to catch the ball. I would have let the pass fall to the ground. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.
3) If for some reason, I had actually caught the ball, I would immediately crumpled to the ground and stayed there. The Chargers gain possession and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.
If only I had been on defense for this play.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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