Posts Tagged With: cat

Champurrado

Mexican Appetizer

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CHAMPURRADO

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INGREDIENTS
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2 cups water
1¼ cups masa harina* or ⅔ cup corn flour
6 cups water* or milk
1 cinnamon stick
2 cloves (optional)
5½ ounces piloncillo* or ½ brown sugar
6½ ounces Mexican chocolate tablets
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* = The ingredients with an asterisk are authentic Mexican choices. They can be found in most supermarkets and authentic Mexican ones, or online. Water can be found everywhere. ☺
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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electric blender
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Makes 8 cups. Takes 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add 2 cups water and masa harina to electric blender. Set mixer on puree and mix until well blended Add 6 cups water, cinnamon stick, cloves, and piloncillo to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 3 minutes at low heat or until piloncillo melts. Stir frequently.
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Add chocolate tables. Stir until well blended. Add water/masa harina mix. Increase heat to medium high until mixture starts to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir frequently. Remove cinnamon stick. Serve hot.
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TIDBITS
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1) Champurrado is a portmanteau, coming from the combined words of, champion, purring, and xtqnado. Champion and purring are English words. However, xtqnado is, of course, Incan. Xtqmado means “protection by chocolate.” Thus, champurrado means “protection given from the chocolate purring one.” We would call it a happy brown cat. And oh, you can check out the Official Incan dictionary from the Gainesville Public Library. You might have to reserve it.
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2) Every year the Incas performed a ceremony to find the loudest purring brown cat. As long as the Incas anointed their sacred champurrado, no enemy nation could harm them. Then in 1532, the Inca’s divine protection deserted them when “Chocy,” their anointed cat, ran off to chase a sarcastic mouse. A month later, Pizarro conquered the Incan Empire for Spain. Coincidence? Perhaps.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Paper-Cuts Day

My stunt double

Nothing major went wrong today but my gosh, I’ve been overwhelmed by an unending series of minor things going wrong. I accomplished nothing that I want to do. Indeed, I even lost one of the gifts I wanted to wrap. Wrapping was heck because my usual clumsy fingers, were oh so more clumsy today, including wrapping and typing. All in all, a veritable death-by-paper-cuts day. Fudge. And I’d like up feeling refreshed; it’s been so many years. And I found out yesterday that I have a degenerative something in my left shoulder; that’s why it hurts so often. I think I’ll hide from the world. I learned that survival technique from my cat who stayed with me when I was sick so much when I was little. Oh gosh, signing off.

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– Paul R. De Lancey

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Schrodinger’s CAT Scan

 

Schrodinger #3

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­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Phrase: Cat Type

How many times has this happened to you? You’re typing up a rather important document. Perhaps it’s to be an instruction manual for a revolutionary space mission for NASA. Perhaps your work will go on the teleprompter for your President’s State of the Union speech. That’s all well and good, for what you wrote is sheer brilliance. Unfortunately, the document that emailed also includes the following enigmatic lines entered by your cat as it walked across your keyboard,

“gr40ggg4 0y68h 4045532ee93d4rfd=0ertggrreed9
fdfefrggtefferrggggeedd”

If this bit gets included in your NASA report, they will most likely ask what sort of a part that is.

If it makes it to the teleprompter for the State of the Union speech, will she spot the mistake and adlib? If she reads these lines as is, will her opposing party come out against, “”gr40ggg4 0y68h 4045532ee93d4rfd=0ertggrreed9 fdfefrggtefferrggggeedd?”

We need a phrase for this event.

And now there is:

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

Cat Type

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Awesome entry #50

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Desk Cat Says

Desk Cat is Very Wise.

 

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Be the Cat Motivational Poster

Don’t delay! Turn your life around. Do this today.

 

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 Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: life tips, you need to get | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yoga Instructor on Men’s Vanity

Yoga Instructor knows that super inflammatory comments about a man’s appearance is who’s hitting on you can escalate to a dangerous  situation. So instead of telling the relentless oaf, “Hell no, you look like cat ick,” be like Yoga Instructor and say,

Yoga Instructor #10

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized, yoga instructor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Liberian Chicken Gravy

Liberian Entree

CHICKEN GRAVY

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rice
2½ pounds chicken parts, bone in
¼ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 green bell pepper
1 habanero pepper
3 garlic cloves
2 Roma tomatoes
1 onion
⅓ cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 chicken bouillon cubes
1 cup green beans, fresh
1 pound shrimp, pealed, deveined, 31-35 count (optional)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package. Add chicken parts, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and salt to large bowl. Add enough water to cover. Bring to boil at high heat. Reduce heat to medium high. Cook for 20 minutes. Chicken parts should be tender to the fork. Remove chicken from pot. Reserve 2 cups of the liquid.

While chicken cooks, seed green bell pepper. Remove stem from habanero pepper. (Be sure to wash hands.) Dice garlic cloves, green bell pepper, and Roma tomatoes. Add habanero pepper, garlic, green bell pepper, and tomato to food processor. Blend until pureed.

Mince onion. Add onion and vegetable oil to large pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently Add pureed veggies. Stir until well blended. Add tomato paste. Stir until well blended. Reduce heat to low medium. Simmer for 5 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning.

Add chicken, bouillon cubes, green beans, and 2 cups reserved liquid. Simmer for another 5 minutes. Bring to boil using medium high heat. Add shrimp. Cook for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns orange or pink. Serve over rice. Use as much liquid as you wish.

TIDBITS

1) It is rarely ever suspected that I took lessons from the famous abstract artist, Joan Miro.

2) Here is my abstract painting of my Chicken Gravy entree. I call it Chicken Gravy. This is Jane the Judgmental Cat’s favorite work of art.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3) I did color and black-and white paintings of Chicken Gravy.

4)While in middle school, I had a vase I made displayed in the famous Gemeente Museum in Den Haag, Netherlands. I called it, Vase.

5) Yet, I have managed to remain humble through all this success.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jane the Judgmental Cat on Dishes

Jane the Judgmental Cat says, “I know I’m beautiful, but if you’re looking at me, you’re not doing dishes. You have a Jenga(tm) tower of dishes in your sink. Put away the clean dishes from the dish washer, put the dirty dishes in the dish washer, and start the cleaning cycle, If you dont,  I’ll scratch you.”

Jane the Judgmental Cat #3, Do your dishes

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Jane the Judgmental Cat | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Cat Wants This Food

Dear Cat Owner,

Why spend tons of money on gourmet cat food when your cat will only turn up its nose at what you feed it, then go outside to eat bugs and twigs?

Why not give your feline what it really wants? Mr Whiskers. It wants Mr. Whiskers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: you need to get | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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