Posts Tagged With: appetizer

Salsa!

Mexican Appetizer

SALSA!

INGREDIENTS

1 large red tomato
1/2 onion
1/2 green chile
1 jalapeño chile
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
3 avocados
1/2 garlic clove or one small one
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 1/4 teaspoons cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Makes 1 quart of delicious salsa.

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes, onion, green chile, jalapeño, cilantro and avocados. Mince garlic clove. Mix these ingredients in large bowl with whisk. Add olive oil, lime juice, vinegar, oregano, salt, and black pepper. Mix again with fork or whisk.

Serve with tortilla chips, rolled corn tortillas with beans, or by itself.

This is a forgiving dish. It is easy to add more of any ingredient at any time to improve the taste. (No, don’t add lutefisk, noooooo!)

TIDBITS

1) Authentic salsa is always fresh.

2) Salsa is a type of music. Ketchup is not.

3) Salsa, the movie, was made in 1988 and directed by Boaz Davidson. Leonard Maltin gives it two out of four stars.

4) The Old Testament’s Book of Ruth has Boaz marrying Ruth after some cloak spreading. The movie, Story of Ruth, was made in 1960 and starred Stuart Whitman. Leonard Maltin gives it 2.5 stars.

5) Stuart Whitman was more well known for his movie roles as a cowboy such as in the 1961 movie, The Comancheros.

6) It’s unclear even after on-line search if Stuart Whitman liked salsa.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Honey-Mustard Sauce

American Appetizer

HONEY-MUSTARD SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1/3 cup yellow mustard
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon coriander
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1/4 teaspoon ground mustard

PREPARATION

Use whisk to mix all the above ingredients in a small bowl. This is so easy and so tasty. Try it!

TIDBITS

1) Mustard was found in the pyramids of Ancient Egypt. Apparently, properly spiced food was just as important in the afterworld as it was in the land of the living.

2) There are 250,000 seeds in a pound of mustard. If you were to count one seed a minute, it would take you almost three days.

3) May I recommend that you a 1/4-teaspoon spoon instead?

4) Canada produces ninety percent of the world’s supply of mustard seeds. Go, Canada!

5) People in the 19th century put packs of mixed hot mustard with a lot of flour on their chests to relieve congestion. They passed this remedy on to succeeding generations.

6) People who used only plain hot mustard on chests were in too much pain to make succeeding generations.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Niter Kibeh (seasoned, clarified butter) From Forthcoming Cookbook

Ethiopian Appetizer

NITER KIBEH

INGREDIENTS

1 pound unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves
1 cinnamon stick
3 cloves
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon fenugreek seeds

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Melt butter on low heat in saucepan. Add garlic cloves, cinnamon stick, cloves, cardamom, ginger, turmeric, and fenugreek seeds. Simmer on lowest heat, between off and warm, for 1 hour. Stir occasionally.

Put bowl beneath colander. Pour buttery liquid into colander. Discard solids in colander. Keep buttery liquid. This Ethiopian butter may be stored in the refrigerator.

Makes two cups. Be the first on your block to do so.

TIDBITS

1) In 1870, the French Emperor Napoleon III asked his nation to come up with a substitute for butter.

2) In 1870, the German Kaiser’s armies at Sedan captured Napoleon and over 100,000 thousand soldiers under his command.

3) This was one of the decisive defeats in the Franco-Prussian War.

4) This war gave birth to the German nation, the French Republic, and sowed the seeds for World War I, the rise of Nazi Germany, and World War II.

5) We are less sure if Napoleon III enjoyed margarine on his toast during the battle of Sedan.

6) Maybe if Napoleon had spent more time instead getting the world’s first machine guns from his nation’s arsenals to his troops in the field the war would have turned out differently.

7) But then we wouldn’t be able to have cinnamon toast with fewer calories.

8) There are pluses and minuses to every culinary advance.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Moroccan Yogurt Sauce From Forthcoming Cookbook

Moroccan Appetizer

MOROCCAN YOGURT SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

3/4 teaspoon whole cloves
1 medium red onion
2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon olive oil
3/4 teaspoon cardamom
3 tablespoons fresh dates
1 cup plain full fat or whole yogurt

UTENSIL

Spice grinder

PREPARATION

Grind cloves in spice grinder. Dice red onion and garlic cloves. Remove seeds from dates. Chop dates. (This is not license to go Lizzie Borden.)

Cook on medium-high heat: olive oil, onion, diced garlic, ground cloves, and cardamom until onion is tender. Add chopped dates. Cook for 1 minute. Put contents in mixing bowl and add yogurt. Mix with fork or whisk. Serve right away if used for kebabs. (Kebab is not a palindrome.) This is also a great bread dip.

TIDBITS

1) Dates are good for you! Dates help cure sore throats.

2) Dates help reduce the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

3) Unfortunately, most people who get intoxicated know little of dates’ beneficial properties.

4) I mean, how many times has a traffic cop pulled over a weaving driver only to hear, “But officer, I was on my way to buy some dates at the supermarket. Honestly, I was.”

5) Were dates stockpiled by Chicago’s gangsters in the 1920s? They could have been used to make alcohol like any food with sugar. And if the police raided the date warehouse, the criminals could have claimed they were there to help wipe out the latest sore throat epidemic to hit the city. Hard to say. No one talked. Best to let the subject drop.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Basil Pesto

Italian Appetizer

BASIL PESTO

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons ground walnuts
4 garlic cloves
3/4 cup Parmesan
3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
6 tablespoons basil
1/4 teaspoon white pepper

PREPARATION

Dice garlic cloves. Put walnuts, garlic, Parmesan, basil, white pepper, and olive oil in sauce pan. Saute for about 5 minutes on medium high.

Put pesto sauce on pasta or on French bread.

Simple is good.

TIDBITS

1) Walnuts are the best non-fish source of omega-3.

2) Whatever happened to omega-1 and omega-2?

3) Can you get omega-3 by adding together omega-1 and omega-2?

4) Omega is a Greek letter.

5) Greek letters are used in really complicated mathematics.

6) I would like to see a Greek crossword puzzle.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tzatziki Sauce

Greek Appetizer

TZATZIKI SAUCE
(Greek cucumber sauce)

This usually goes with Greek gyros. It also goes well as a topping for hamburgers.

INGREDIENTS

8 ounces plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat; you might need to find this in the Greek section of the store)
1 medium cucumber
1/4 teaspoon, or dash black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoon dill weed
2 peeled garlic cloves
juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon

ESSENTIAL COOKING EQUIPMENT
food chopper or processor
whisk

PREPARATION

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is easier to peel off the skin if you cut the cucumber in half along its width. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic cloves. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Mix with a whisk. Use a hand-held blender if you feel the need for more power. (Don’t overdo it. Too much power will result in an exciting avant-garde tzatziki sauce mural on your kitchen walls.)

Add the salt, sugar, and lemon juice. Mix. Put about 3/4 of the dill into the bowl. Taste the mixture. I’ve learned that dill weed varies in strength. Sometimes two tablespoons is just right. However, another spice company’s dill might taste stronger than you expected. It is better to put in too little dill initially and add more than to put in too much at first. If you put in too much dill, all you really can do is add more of everything else.

If you love this recipe, you will want to find a way to score cheap dill weed. Try the spice section of your local supermarket and see if they have dill weed in large, economy bags. If not, try an ethnic food market. Finally, try ordering online.

TIDBITS

1) Dill weed doesn’t seem to have an extensive or humorous history.

2) The inside of the humble cucumber is twenty degrees colder than its outside.

3) So, if you’re in Arizona in August and your air-conditioning fails, cut open a seven-foot tall cucumber and step inside.

4) Ulysses G. Grant’s meals often consisted only of cucumbers and coffee. He became our nation’s most successful Civil War general, one of our presidents, and a best-selling author.

5) I’m not promising any of those things will happen to you if you make this cucumber sauce. Just saying, that’s all.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moroccan Yogurt Sauce From Forthcoming Cookbook, “Eat Me”

Moroccan Appetizer

MOROCCAN YOGURT SAUCE

INGREDIENTSMorocYo-

1/2 tablespoon whole cloves
1 medium red onion
2 garlic cloves
1/3 cup fresh dates
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 tablespoon cardamom
1 cup plain full fat or whole yogurt

UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Grind cloves in spice grinder. Dice red onion and garlic cloves. Remove seeds from dates. Chop dates. (This is not license to go Lizzie Borden.)

Cook on medium-high heat: olive oil, onion, garlic cloves, and cardamom until onion is tender. Add chopped dates. Cook for 1 minute. Put contents in mixing bowl and add yogurt. Mix with fork or whisk. Serve right away if used for kebabs. (Kebab is not a palindrome.) This is also a great bread dip.

TIDBITS

1) Dates are good for you! Dates help cure sore throats.

2) Dates help reduce the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

3) Unfortunately, most people who get intoxicated know little of dates’ beneficial properties.

4) I mean, how many times has a traffic cop pulled over a weaving driver only to hear, “But officer, I was on my way to buy some dates at the supermarket. Honestly, I was.”

5) Were dates stockpiled by Chicago’s gangsters in the 1920s? They could have been used to make alcohol like any food with sugar. And if the police raided the date warehouse, the criminals could have claimed they were there to help wipe out the latest sore throat epidemic to hit the city. Hard to say. No one talked. No one is talking. Best to let the subject drop.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Tzatziki Sauce (Greek cucumber sauce) From Cookbook

Greek Appetizer

TZATZIKI SAUCE
(Greek cucumber sauce)

This usually goes with Greek gyros. It also goes well as a topping for hamburgers.

INGREDIENTS

8 ounces plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat; you might need to find this in the Greek section of the store)
1 medium cucumber
1/4 teaspoon, or dash black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoon dill weed
2 peeled garlic cloves
juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon

ESSENTIAL COOKING EQUIPMENT

food chopper or processor
whisk

PREPARATION

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is easier to peel off the skin if you cut the cucumber in half along its width. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic cloves. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Mix with a whisk. Use a hand-held blender if you feel the need for more power. (Don’t overdo it. Too much power will result in an exciting avant-garde tzatziki sauce mural on your kitchen walls.)

Add the salt and sugar. Mix. Put about 3/4 of the dill into the bowl. Taste the mixture. I’ve learned that dill weed varies in strength. Sometimes two tablespoons is just right. However, another spice company’s dill might taste stronger than you expected. It is better to put in too little dill initially and add more than to put in too much at first. If you put in too much dill, all you really can do is add more of everything else.

If you love this recipe, you will want to find a way to score cheap dill weed. Try the spice section of your local supermarket and see if they have dill weed in large, economy bags. If not, try an ethnic food market. Finally, try ordering online.

TIDBITS

1) Dill weed doesn’t seem to have an extensive or humorous history.

2) The inside of the humble cucumber is twenty degrees colder than its outside.

3) So, if you’re in Arizona in August and your air-conditioning fails, cut open a seven-foot tall cucumber and step inside.

4) Ulysses S. Grant’s meals often consisted only of cucumbers and coffee. He became our nation’s most successful Civil War general, one of our presidents, and a best-selling author.

5) I’m not promising any of those things will happen to you if you make this cucumber sauce. Just saying, that’s all.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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