observations

The Bountiful, Versatile Pumpkin

Halloween is over. Pumpkins have been thrown in the trash bins. My local supermarket gave away its remaining pumpkins.

I was happy to take one. The pumpkin is so much more than a jack o’lantern.

With my pumpkin I was abled to cut and scoop out:

2¾ pounds of pumkin pulp (no stringy bits)
1 cup pumpkin seeds

From my pumpkin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recovered enough pulp and seeds to make the following five dishes and pumpkin shea butter soap.

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner Rolls

American Appetizer

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DINNER ROLLS

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INGREDIENTS
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2¼ teaspoons dry active yeast
⅓ cup lukewarm water
¼ teaspoon sugar (7 teaspoons more later)
2½ tablespoons melted butter (2 tablespoons more later)
½ cup milk, lukewarm
½ teaspoon salt
7 teaspoons sugar
2¼ cups flour (2 more tablespoons later)
1½ tablespoons flour
no-stick spray
2 tablespoons melted butter
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
8″ round casserole dish
bench scraper/chopper or long non-serrated knife
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Makes 15 rolls. Takes 2 hours 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add yeast and lukewarm water to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Sprinkle ¼ teaspoon sugar on top. Let sit for 10 minutes or until bubbles. Add 2½ tablespoons melted butter, milk, salt, and 7 teaspoons sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with spatula until salt and sugar dissolve. Let cool to room temperature.
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Add yeast mixture to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Gradually add 2¼ cups flour while mixing with electric beater set on medium. Mix until a slightly sticky dough ball forms. Dust flat surface with 1½ tablespoons flour. Remove dough ball to flat surface. Knead for 5 minutes until dough is smooth and elastic. Spray large mixing bowl with no-stick spray. Add dough ball to large mixing bowl. Rotate dough until covered with spray. Cover bowl with towel. Let sit for 30 minutes or until doubled in size.
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Push down on dough. Roll dough into a log 15″ long and 1″ wide. Use bench scraper to cut log into 15 pieces. Shape 15 pieces into smooth balls. Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add smooth dough balls to casserole dish. Cover with towel and let sit for 1 hour or until fluffy. Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes or until tops of rolls turn golden brown. Brush tops of rolls with 2 tablespoons melted butter.
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TIDBITS
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1) Doing dishes makes the kitchen clean, which makes you happy.
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2) But, pondering the infinite brings enlightenment.
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3) What will you chose?
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4) May I suggest alternating 5-minute bursts of each activity?
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5) While achieving enlightenment, I had the following stream of consciousness.
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6) Can you have a stream of consciousness while asleep or even unconscious?
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7) Unconscious is a hard word to spell.
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8) You can see that I spelled it right.
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9) You’ll have to take my word for it that I spelled it right on the very first try. Go me.
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10) Somehow this segues into how we developed before birth.
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11) Prehistoric peoples believed we started out as very tiny version of the baby that would eventually pop out of mama.
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12) How do we know this? Go to the Courgette Library in Bordeaux, France. Find the research department and ask to see the ground breaking Greatest Texts of Prehistory by Farine du Ble.
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13) Nowadays, culinary biologists say that we began as a single, undifferentiated cell.
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14) This cell doubled into two slightly unlike* cells.
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15) * = I used my thesaurus to come up with a different word for different.
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16) This doubling process kept going until we had nearly 15 slightly dissimilar cells like in the above photo.
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17) Eventually this doubling process stops. We don’t increase twofold the day before birth.
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18) But what if this repetitive course continues after birth?
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19) Eventually, we’d get as big as Uranus.
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20) We’d also possess a staggering number of specialized cells.
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21) We’d most likely quite sport an impressive number of super-hero skills.
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22) Which we’d need if we were truly as enormous as Uranus.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Chatting With Chefs, cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Do Penguins Dream in Color?

A penguin’s dream

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bring Back the Milkman

Often enough, I only need a half gallon of milk, four sticks of butter, or a pound of cheese. Sure I could drive to the store, but it hardly seems worthwhile for just a half gallon of milk when the whole process of driving to the supermarket, parking, finding the milk, checking out, leaving the parking lot, and driving home.

If only there were a simple, convenient way to buy a small amount of dairy. Oh wait, there was. We called him the milkman. We place an order on our door step and he’d bring it from the stores of his truck.

Easy peasy.

And quite often the milkman brought other products as well. Here’s what I remember about the milkmen from the various towns of my youth.

Arcadia, California: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter.

Earlwood, Australia: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter and eggs.

Voorburg, Netherlands: The milk truck carried: milk, eggs, cheese, cans of soups, soda, and beer! I believe the milkman also delivered juice and jams.

I want a milkman who will bring all the items his counterpart in the Netherlands did. I want it! I want it!

Going to the store takes too long, cars are driven by nuts, and the stores are far too peoply.

I am willing to pay more for this service than from stores. I worked and saved all my life so I can now afford this service to my door.

Please make this happen. Thank you.

And please also let me know what your milkman delivered? Thanks again.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be Careful What You Ask For

Do they really want to always hire a retired, card-carrying introvert whose back hurts after standing on his feet for more than 10 minutes?

Besides:

“I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”

— Groucho Marx

Uh oh

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Orange Goat’s Milk Soap

ORANGE GOAT’S MILK SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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1 teaspoon orange mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds goat’s milk soap base
¾ teaspoon orange essential oil
2 tablespoons fresh orange zest*
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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* = zest from 1 orange or 2 tsp dried orange zest
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add orange mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut goat’s milk base into 1″ cubes. Add goat’s milk base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Repeat until completely melted. Stir after every microwaving. Add orange mica powder/ isopropyl mix and orange essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 5 minutes.. (This inhibits orange zest from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add orange zest. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) Orange Goat’s Milk might come from an orange goat. Or maybe milk from goats is orange, which would be way cool.
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2) It’s not clear. More uncertainty has been introduced into your life. You might find that you’ll have trouble sleeping .If so, be sure to drink some warm orange goat’s milk before going to bed.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations, soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Standard for Ultimate Greatness

How do we know if something is the best thing in the last 100 years?

Simple:

Is it the greatest thing since sliced bread?

No other comparisons matter.

The ultimate measure of greatness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There Is No I in Team

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Exactly How I Want It

and wrapped and bagged. Is that ok?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Remastering Beethoven

Remastering The Beatles and the Rolling Stones, because you know you’re a better musician than Hall of Fame rock ‘n’ rollers.

What’s next?

­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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