Bacon & Chocolate

Be The First On Your Block To Be A Director Of A Federal Agency

Posted on October 1, 2012 by pauldelancey

You too can be in government with the Bacon & Chocolate Party. 
Come join our dedicated team.

President: Paul De Lancey

Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey

Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Bacon Protocol: Louise Corazza Busby
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
Office of Management and Budget: Mark Kennet
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom

Chief Political Adviser: Jonna Pattillo

Ambassadorships:

Greece: Lisa Jean Boehles Henderson
South America & Caribbean: Joel Poole
Vatican: John Rucker

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Loving Poems About Chocolate

Posted on September 28, 2012 by pauldelancey

Chocolate, while not exactano
Is within a nano
Of being heavano.

There once was a man named Boclate
Who dreamed all night of eating chocolate
Under a willow.
That silly fellow,
By morning, he’d eaten his pillow.

Won’t be a zombie
They only like to eat brains
I love chocolate

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Bacon & Chocolate, A Powerful Force

Posted on August 20, 2012 by pauldelancey

What if the Bacon & Chocolate Party actually influenced this presidential election? Remember the fuss in Florida in 2000? There were several analyses of who should have won that state. One had Al Gore winning by three votes. It’s entirely possible Bacon & Chocolate could get three votes in a state in November

Bacon & Chocolate – For a Tasty and Influential Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Foolproof Plan To End Serious Crime

Posted on August 13, 2012 by pauldelancey

People committing felonies will not be allowed to have any bacon or chocolate while serving hard time.
I know this is severe, but what person would EVER commit a serious crime knowing the consequence of being without these two delicacies year after year? No one.

I rest my case. What this country needs is tough love.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate in November for a Safe and Tasty Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Campaign Poster

Posted on August 5, 2012 by pauldelancey

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Bacon & Chocolate Party Forms Superpac

Posted on August 3, 2012 by pauldelancey

Dear Bacon & Chocolate supporters, the sad fact remains despite our best non-existent efforts,
our glorious party hasn’t been able to raise vast sums of money for our campaign. Indeed, we’ve raised the negligible sum of $0.00. So, we are forming our own superpac.

B&C hopes to raise just as many millions as our main competitors, Mr. Romney and President Obama. As one of our brilliant cabinet members said,  “Why not ask the pork producers?” Indeed, it is in their best interest to get us elected. Same goes for the chocolate makers.

I can hear you saying, “But won’t you beholden to the bacon & chocolate interests?”

We certainly will. But with cheap bacon & chocolate spreading o’er the land, who cares? With millions and millions behind us, Bacon & Chocolate cannot lose in November. Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a tasty tomorrow.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, food, politics | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chocolate Haikus

Posted on July 26, 2012 by pauldelancey

I want chocolate.
Give me all the chocolate
And no one gets hurt.

My sweetheart left me.
But he left the chocolate.
So, it’s all okay.

Oh my chocolate,
Wonderful gift of the gods,
You make the sunrise.

Milk chocolate and
Dark chocolate, yum, yum, yum
You’re the basic food groups.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon Haikus

Posted on July 23, 2012 by pauldelancey

Bacon haikus is the new wave of literature.

I started off with one that oozes elegant simplicity.

Bacon, my bacon.
Bacon, bacon, my bacon.
Bacon, my bacon.

Did Rembrandt like bacon?
I like to think he did or
I’ll sell his paintings.

Bacon tastes so wonderful.
Makes  jobs for heart specialists.
Bacon tastes wonderful.

Pilgrims farming the
Old West always took bacon
God bless America.

America went to
War to defeat the Nazis
And protect bacon.

America is great
With its fine chocolate
With its crisp bacon.

Don’t care what others
Will say, but give me bacon
Or some chocolate.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Be The Boss Of Your Federal Department – Part 2

Posted on July 21, 2012 by pauldelancey

All you have to do is follow my blog, pauldelancey.com and like it. In return, when elected President of the United States on the Bacon & Chocolate Party  ticket, I will give you a job as the head honcho of whatever federal department is available. (See below for taken slots and list of federal agencies.) If you can’t decide, but still wish to serve your country at a handsome salary with great health care, I will randomly pick a department for you to run.
http://www.usa.gov/directory/federal/index.shtml

May 21, 2012 – Directory listing for federal agencies and departments:A.

What a deal! What a country!

Our lineup so far:

President: Paul De Lancey
Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey

Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom

Ambassadorships:
Vatican: John Rucker

Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Volunteers Needed For Mind-Numbing Work

Posted on July 18, 2012 by pauldelancey

The Bacon & Chocolate Party needs volunteers in all fifty states to gather signatures to put our glorious party on the state ballot. The work is hard. The hours are long. The remuneration is non-existent.

Oh crap, I need a chocolate doughnut.

Bacon & Chocolate: “We’re tasty.”

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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