With all the inflation, shrinkflation, and greedflation going on lately, it is indeed heartening to discover that the price of something we all love is actually going down.
Act now! Get your hands on some cheap butt. Mmm.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
As it stands, the American League essentially plays 1,215 games to determine the SIXTH best team. The top four teams remain virtually certain of making the playoffs. A good number of ball clubs are not likely to gain a playoff berth. With 6 – to – 10 teams not battling for the three wild-card spots fans really won’t care in what position their favorites finish. It didn’t use to be that way, sixth place was clearly better than seventh or eighth.
But maybe the current six-team play off format is yielding tons of tons of excitement.
No. Boston, the seventh best squad is 3.5 games out of the last playoff spot.
However, if the top teams in the league were to be in a single division, only-the-best-club goes to the World Series system we’d a truly crackerjack pennant race.
I would sit by my phone waiting for the American League to call me on this, but alas I don’t think they will.
But please look at the following comparison:
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Number One Son and Number Two Son
Number Two Son recently passed his CPA exams. He celebrated his achievement by taking us to Mille Fleurs in Rancho Sante Fe, CA – a fancy restaurant in a fancy town. The atmosphere and the service was wonderful. I had been wondering about that restaurant for decades. Well done, Number Two Son.
– Paul De Lancey
I spent much of a day planning the first vacation in years. Then the whole family went out for dinner.
Fun and productive day.
I hope you all behaved yourselves while I was preoccupied.
– Paul De Lancey
Are you this old?
Everybody who uses computers is cloud-and- USB old, but some of us are older than that.
Some people are 3½” hard diskette old, but some of us older than that.
Some folks are 5½” floppy disk old, but some of us are older than that.
Some men and women are punch-card old, but I am older that!
I am punch-tape old.
“Look upon input sources, ye mighty, and despair.”*
* = If Ozymandias had been a computer geek.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My stunt double’s kitchen. It’s tidy as well.
All sorts of things in my finances demanded attention. Nothing at all serious, it just took much of the day to sort things.
Number One Son is flying home for the weekend. Huzzah. I made pot roast for him.
I did a lot of organizing in the kitchen and in the office.
All this work made my back hurt, but I have a clean kitchen and office.
I hope you behaved yourself in my absence.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Sure, lots of things can be good for you, when you do them. Vaucuuming and kale crunching come to mind. They’re might be some nutritional benefits to eating them but can you eat them. And don’t forget vacuuming kale is the only way vacuum will always fill your world with true serenity.
We can, with some effort, think of benefits accruing from cleaning house and eating healthy.
“Just don’t overdo things by actually doing them.”
– Carl La Fong, life coach
LIST OF THINGS TO THINK ABOUT , BUT NOT DO.
3) Cleaning House – Conventional wisdom holds that an ordered house indicates an ordered mind. Which, of course, makes you happy. But is this really true?
Sure cleaning your house provides us with a marginal, if at all perceptible, boost to our sense of well being. But if something horrible happens or we fall prey to a fit of depression by eating a seemingly endless bowl of naked romaine lettuce, what can we do to feel better, to restore our joie de vivre? Sure cleaning restores order and meaning to our universe. But we can’t clean an already immaculate home. With no activity at hand to rejeuventate our spirits we plunge into the depths of everlasting despair. We might even find ourselves reading War and Peace in the original Russian.
Can such cleaning make us healthier in the long run? Sure. But in the short run we become exhausted and feel sad about our weak body. We head home, flop face down onto our bed, and spiral ever downward into a bottomless well of depression.
4) Healthy Eating – Doctors and dieticians everywhere will tell you that you will live longer, ceteris paribus, everything else remaining equal. But not everything is equal, is it? Is a man drinking a kale smoothie likely to be happy? No, his will to live will slowly, but surely, ebb away until he quivers continually in a dark closet. His physical health faces existential deterioration. If you could look at his cell phone, you’ll find that he has the suicide hotline on speed dial.
And what of Farine du Blé gazing forlornly at her rabbit-food salad? What happens when she looks at the happy, laughing couple eating filet mignon and bacon-wrapped shrimp? Her heart will shrink to the size of a mustard seed. She will hate the mignon-munching couple. She’ll despise you. Her eyes will shoot daggers at me. She’ll loath every last one of us. Farine will retire to her shuttered, drape-closed home and never come out again. It won’t matter, if rabbit-food salads lenghter her life span or not, every day forcing down salady things will transform her pitiful existence into soul-squashing gloom.
Better yet, eat something you love, something you crave. Like cheeseburgers, tacos, and strawberry milkshakes. Sure, these foods aren’t technically good for you. But look at the unparalleled joy you’ll reap getting them into your tummy. You’ll gain the courage of a lion, the motivation of a hummingbird, and the happiness of a woman winning the lottery.
Oh, and if you do hanker for something healthy such as spinach be sure to dine on Chicken Florentine. Sure, it features spinach, but it also comes with chicken breasts and creamy sauces. You won’t feel as if you’re munching on heatlhy food. Indeed, with any luck at all, the unhealthy ingredients will overpower the spinach to the extendt that your outlook on life will explode with happiness. You’ll want to live. And you will. What more can you want?
“Remember, it’s healthier to think than to do.”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
How many times has this happened to you?
You’re late to:
1) Meet the love of your life at a super fancy restaurant. You’re going to propose to her.
2) An interview for your dream job.
3) A meeting with a hostile foreign ambassador. You’re hoping to avoid global armageddon.
But none of these things happen. You spent an hour looking for your care keys.
1) You love leaves the restaurant before you arrive, vowing to hate you forever.
2) Your would be boss gives the position to a lutefisk vendor because no other applicants showed up.
3) You thought that the stand up ambassador would relay the unforgivable insult to his country. The almost certain missiles never get launched against you beloved country, only because the foreign ambassador couldn’t find his car keys either. But it was a near run thing.
Face it, you’re disorganized. The keys you placed on the hook devoted to them fall to the floor. Or you put the keys down, well you can’t remember where. Then use put some papers on top of them. Now you have no chance to find them.
What to do? Simply buy Bushell’s Model 303 Household Balloon. Simply attach your keys to the little hook beneath the ballon. When you want to find your car keys, simply look up. It’s that easy. You’ll say, “Thank you, Bushnell.”
Or splurge for the enhanced model, the Bushnell Model 303E Household Balloon. The battery powered 303E will follow you as you move from room to room. Your keys will always be right above your head.
So get yourself a 303. You’ll never have to worry starting World War III ever again. Heck, you might even get married.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I did not medal in the Olympics.
I forgot to write my trials on the calendar.
The officials there disqualified me for not showing.
One day I’ll be over 70
And be past my prime.
I am bereft of joy.
Paris is no longer the City of Lights for me.
Poetry is hard.
I need a taco.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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