Posts Tagged With: murders

British Digestive Biscuits

British Dessert

DIGESTIVE BISCUITS

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cup flour
3 cups wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1½ cups confectioners’ sugar
1 cup butter, softened
½ cup milk

SPECIAL UTENSILS

parchment paper
2 baking sheets

Makes 60 cookies. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add flour, wheat flour, baking powder, and sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk. Cut butter into ½” cubes. Knead with hands until mixture resembles bread crumbs. Add milk. Knead with hands until dough forms.

Roll out dough until it’s ⅛” thick. Cut dough into 2½” circles. Place parchment paper on baking sheet. Place biscuits on parchment. Prick biscuits all over with fork. (Make a design if you wish.) Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until biscuits turn golden brown. (You will most likely need to cook in batches.) Cool on wire rack. Goodness, these simple biscuits are tasty.

TIDBITS

1) From Professor Nicholas Baigent, London School of Economics, “ Did you know that they are seldom consumed in public places in the South of England, though lots are enjoyed privately with family and friends? In the Deep South here, dunking is thoroughly frowned upon. If you don’t want the job you are being offered, just dunk your biscuit in the cup of weak tea they will force upon you at the interview.”

2) Mitch Jagger attended the London School of Economics (LSE). However, he dropped out after only one year.

3) “He announced his attention of going into business but was worried about mathematics,”
– Walter Stern, Jagger’s tutor at the LSE

4) Mr. Jagger’s career path gained more traction when he became lead singer for The Rolling Stones. He did rather well while there, by all accounts.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hare Ponders Rematch

Last time, the tortoise pushed the hare too far.

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Monday Punday

Gloomy Man and Happy Man got into a flour fight while making cookies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wouldn’t it have even neater if I could have found a picture of Edgar Allan Poe writing at his desk. He’s just penned the words, “Once upon a midnight dreary.” A woman is looking over his shoulder and says, “Okay, gloomer.”

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jane the Judgmental Cat on Dishes

Jane the Judgmental Cat says, “I know I’m beautiful, but if you’re looking at me, you’re not doing dishes. You have a Jenga(tm) tower of dishes in your sink. Put away the clean dishes from the dish washer, put the dirty dishes in the dish washer, and start the cleaning cycle, If you dont,  I’ll scratch you.”

Jane the Judgmental Cat #3, Do your dishes

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Jane the Judgmental Cat | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Overwhelmed Woman Says

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Overwhelmed Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shrimp Gravy

American Entree

SHRIMP GRAVY

INGREDIENTS

1 green bell pepper
1 celery stalk
1 medium onion
1½ pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined (41-50 count)
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
6 bacon slices
2 tablespoons butter
¼ cup flour
1½ cups beef stock

Serves 6 Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Seed and dice bell pepper. Dice celery and onion. Add shrimp, garlic powder, and seasoned salt to mixing bowl. Stir with fork or hands until shrimp are completely coated.

Add bacon to pan. Cook at medium-high heat until crisp. Remove bacon with slotted spoon and place on paper towels. Crumble bacon. Keep bacon grease in pan. Add bell pepper, celery, and onion. Sauté for 4 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add butter and flour to pan. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 5 minutes or until flour turns copper brown. Stir constantly. Reduce heat if necessary, to prevent burning.

Add beef stock and coated shrimp to pan. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 4 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Stir frequently. Add crumbled bacon. Mix with fork until well blended. Goes well over freshly cooked rice or grits.

TIDBITS

1) When I was a kid, I took speech therapy classes. One of the phrases I had to master was “Butter makes the bitter batter better.” I enrolled in one acting class. I had to say easily, “You need New York, unique New York. You know you need unique New York.”

3) I played Snoopy in my grammar school’s version of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I even danced and sang. I built upon this success to play Wildcat Willie in my middle school’s production of Wildcat Willie Carves the Turkey.

4)Strange to say, I landed no more roles after that. I do however, have the occasional dream where I’m on stage and I don’t know the name of the play or my lines. Sigh.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Need to See a Woman Defying Gravity

And here she is.

You need to see #23

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angry Man Rants About Websites

Angry Man #14

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Angry Man | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sri Lankan Fried Rice

Sri Lankan Entree

FRIED RICE

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rice
1 medium carrot
3 garlic cloves
2 green chiles
1 leek
1 medium onion
1½ tablespoons olive oil
7 curry leaves or kaffir leaves or bay leaves
½ teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon minced ginger
¼ cup vegetable broth or water
2 eggs

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package. Grate carrot. Dice garlic cloves. Seed and dice green chiles. Cut leek into 1″ squares. Mince onion.

While rice cooks, add olive oil, cumin, curry leaves, garlic, ginger, green chiles, and onion. to large pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add vegetable broth, carrot, and leek. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning.

While vegetables simmer, scramble eggs. Add eggs and rice to pan. Simmer on low for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Fred Rice is an uncommon name in China, perhaps even extraordinarily so back in 1046 BC. Up to 1047 BC, the Chinese boiled their rice. But on April 2, 1046 BC, Chef Rice and his sous chef, Carl La Fong, dazzled the culinary world by serving fried rice to the patrons of Chăfàn. The diners loved the culinary creation. They came back night after night for their fried rice fix.

2) Disaster struck only two weeks later when the Shang Dynasty’s dreaded culinary police shut down Chăfàn. They said, “You may only serve food the way our ancestors made. Who made this?.” The head chef said, “I, Fred Rice.” A dyslexic court recorder combined this response to “Fried Rice.” The name stuck.

3) Anyway, irate Chefs Fred and Carl decided to feed the Zhou clan that would overthrow the Shangs. So, don’t tick off chefs. No, not ever.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Angry Husky Growls About Printers

 

Some time ago printers achieved consciousness and took a deep and abiding dislike of us. Worse still are the designers who enhance the printers’ ability to jam and stop printing when the cycan cartridges empty. Even if you don’t need cyan. All this has made Husky angry.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Angry Husky | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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