Archer Woman #8
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I leak. Buy PlastoWiz.
Poway, WPI – Drinking Skulls
The Industrial Revolution came yesterday to the wizard-warlord society of Poway. All Powegians are buzzing over the introduction of PlastoWiz’s(tm) plastic drinking skulls. And not a moment too soon for the murderous warlord, Two Axes.
Says Chief Two Axes, “Ah, you’ve heard it all before. Those human skulls leaked too much. It was always the same story. You’ve just given a great speech in the great hall telling of great deeds of valor done against your worthy foe, when you try to drink your foe’s blood out of his skull.
“The skull leaks blood through the cracks between the cranial plates. And my Fenks, don’t forget the torrent of blood gushing through the empty eye sockets. Before you can say, ‘Frimth N’bosh’ you’re soaked with blood. Everyone laughs at you. You lose your warriors’ respect.
“Someone always challenges you to a duel of supremacy. You have to kill him. The feast goes downhill rapidly after that by Frimth, by the end of the night your warriors are stealing the silver plates.
“Thank Frimth for PlastoWiz’s plastic skulls. Not a crack in them, not one. And those pesky eye sockets aren’t a problem anymore. Why with the two plastic socket plugs, a warrior chief can drink blood without shaming himself. And those plugs can also keep the water in the bath tup. Why, I killed two water carriers this morning. Didn’t heed them anymore. Saved money.
“Thank you, PlastoWiz.(tm)”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Gourmet bunny
There’s a bunny outside my outside window! I have to watch it.
It likes to eat weeds. I like that it likes weeds.
Specifically, it prefers stray bits of weed that have been cut off by my weed whacker and have started to turn brown.
I have gourmet bunnies living out front in the hedge.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Haikus are little three-line poems. The first lines has five syllables. The next line has seven, while the last lines reverts back to five.
See the following traditional haiku. It evokes clumsiness, mess, iredeemable loss, and hunger.
LOSS
I dropped my soup bowl.
Soup went all over the floor.
I shall go hungry.
Sure, that’s brilliant but, in general, writing good poetry is hard. That’s why today’s aspiring poets are flocking to one-word haikus.
The following one-word haiku evokes tacos.
TACOS
Tacos.
See great one-word haikus are easy. Give it a whirl. Please send me what you come up with.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The struggle is real and eternal.
Angry Man #20
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
It’s five minutes to midnight. Now they tell me.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Peas porridge hot
Peas porridge hot.
Aw, to heck with it.
There’s no plot.
No character development.
I’m taking my poem
And going home.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The struggle is real. The outside world teems with feral people.
.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
SAUSAGES
“Bite me! Bite me!”
Said the habañero sausage.
“No, I won’t. You’lle see,”
Said the fair, young maiden.
“You will! You will!”
Said the habañero sausage.
“Okay, I’ll eat me fill.”
Said the fair, young maiden.
And she did. She did a lot.
And her breath became fiery hot.
Munching her way through the woods.
To granny’s house with her goods.
“Give me, give me, your basket good,”
Said the big, bad wolf mean all through
But deadly Little Red Riding Hood
Killed him with one flaming breath, not two.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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