New and Improved Drinking Skulls

I leak. Buy PlastoWiz.

Poway, WPI – Drinking Skulls

The Industrial Revolution came yesterday to the wizard-warlord society of Poway. All Powegians are buzzing over the introduction of PlastoWiz’s(tm) plastic drinking skulls. And not a moment too soon for the murderous warlord, Two Axes.

Says Chief Two Axes, “Ah, you’ve heard it all before. Those human skulls leaked too much. It was always the same story. You’ve just given a great speech in the great hall telling of great deeds of valor done against your worthy foe, when you try to drink your foe’s blood out of his skull.

“The skull leaks blood through the cracks between the cranial plates. And my Fenks, don’t forget the torrent of blood gushing through the empty eye sockets. Before you can say, ‘Frimth N’bosh’ you’re soaked with blood. Everyone laughs at you. You lose your warriors’ respect.

“Someone always challenges you to a duel of supremacy. You have to kill him. The feast goes downhill rapidly after that by Frimth, by the end of the night your warriors are stealing the silver plates.

“Thank Frimth for PlastoWiz’s plastic skulls. Not a crack in them, not one. And those pesky eye sockets aren’t a problem anymore. Why with the two plastic socket plugs, a warrior chief can drink blood without shaming himself. And those plugs can also keep the water in the bath tup. Why, I killed two water carriers this morning. Didn’t heed them anymore. Saved money.

“Thank you, PlastoWiz.(tm)”


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

Categories: how to use, meals of murder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “New and Improved Drinking Skulls

  1. italiadiva

    This is a good one! 😀 =========== Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. — Robert Benchley


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