Give that special man in your life something he’ll really love:
http://now.msn.com/jandd-foods-launches-bacon-sunscreen-and-bacon-condoms
And after all isn’t everything better with bacon on it.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Mexican Entree
INGREDIENTS
1 pound chicken breasts
2 16 ounce cans of chili with beef
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 large jalapeno pepper
½ cup grated Four Mexican cheeses (1½ cups total, 1 cup below)
¾ cup yellow corn meal
2 cups water
1 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses (1½ cups total, ½ cup above)
no-stick spray
PREPARATION
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Dice the chicken in a food processor. (If you are using a knife for the chicken, the chicken is most easily diced when partially thawed.) Add chili with beef, diced tomatoes, jalapeno pepper, and 1/ 2 cup of Four Mexican cheeses. Cook on low heat for 15 minutes.
Mix the corn meal and water until well blended. Bring to boil then reduce heat to low. Stir constantly for 12 minutes. Remove from heat.
Lightly coat baking pan with no-stick spray. (You might need two if your baking pans are small.) Pour chicken mix into baking pan. Spoon-corn meal mix on top of chicken mix. Smooth corn meal mix with spoon. Sprinkle remaining 1 cup of Four Mexican cheeses on the top.
Bake for 40 minutes at 375 degrees.
TIDBITS
1) You’ll have to be satisfied with chicken breasts that weigh close to one pound. Scientists have yet to come up with chickens that have breasts weighing exactly one pound.
2) And if scientists could alter the size of chicken breasts at will, don’t you think they’d work on human ones first?
3) My wife cleaned up the huge mess after this meal. Thanks, honey.
4) I’ve seen “corn meal” spelled “cornmeal” as well.
5) It used to be that cans were always 16 ounces. Now they’re 15 ounces or 14.5 or some stupid nonsense like that. The sneaky supermarkets do that instead of raising prices which is more noticeable. It sure makes cooking a little more adventuresome. So now you’re not only a chef, but a trail blazing one as well.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Chinese Entree
INGREDIENTS
1 medium onion
2 green bell peppers
2 garlic cloves
1 1/2 ground turkey
1 pound ground beef
12 ounces extra-firm tofu
1/2 tablespoon peanut oil
1/2 tablespoon sesame oil
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1 cup diced tomato
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
2 teaspoons cornstarch
About 16 buns
No-stick spray
SPECIAL UTENSIL
Large spatula
PREPARATION
This recipe is rightly called a bash. It makes about 16 to 20 patties.
Mince onion, bell peppers, and cloves. In large bowl, mix all ingredients except buns. (Don’t mince your own buns; that would be a disaster.) Be sure to make patties smaller than your spatula.
Coat bottom of frying pan with no-stick spray. Cook burgers on medium-high heat. These hamburgers are moister and more prone to crumble than their American counterparts. So, make sure you have the entire patty on top of the spatula before you turn them over. Turn them over carefully. Do not flip them. Turn them over once.
TIDBITS
1) There have been many mass migrations and conquests throughout history. Some examples are: Alexander the Great’s conquests, Rome’s conquest of the Mediterranean, Germanic tribes overrunning the Roman Empire, Arab conquests of North Africa, Mongol invasions of China, Persia, and Russia, and Spanish victories in Central and South America.
2) What do all these bloodthirsty conquerors have in common?
3) None of them ate hamburgers.
4) With or without cheese.
5) They didn’t even eat sliders.
6) Geez, the Romans ate thrush tongues, for goodness sake. What would it have hurt them to eat a Chinese Hamburger?
7) And the Vikings ate lutefisk. Lutefisk! Think of all the monasteries, towns, and libraries that were sacked because the Vikings ate lutefisk instead of Mexican hamburgers.
8) And then there would have been no Dark Ages. Learning would have flourished. We would have had colonies on the moon by the 17th century if only the Vikings had eaten burgers.
9) Or even sliders.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I want chocolate.
Give me all the chocolate
And no one gets hurt.
My sweetheart left me.
But he left the chocolate.
So, it’s all okay.
Oh my chocolate,
Wonderful gift of the gods,
You make the sunrise.
Milk chocolate and
Dark chocolate, yum, yum, yum
You’re the basic food groups.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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