Posts Tagged With: fear

The Excitement on My Office Desk

As you can see, I have a rather exciting desk.

The position of pride is a Christmas card of my brother and I when he was 5 and I was 3. I was in nursery school and was just delighted with it.

Directly in back of the Christmas card is the dictionary my mother was given when she was 13.

In front of the dictionary is  my trusty keyboard.

To the left of the dictionary, and out of the picture, is Satan’s favorite spawn, the printer.

To the right of the dictionary, and out of the picture, is my resolute computer.

The exciting bits are on top of the dictionary. They are:

My dancing Jesus. It jiggles whenever something bumps the desk.

A music-box squirrel. It plays “If I Could Talk to the Animals.” The squirrel reminds me of the deeds and sacrifices of Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron.

An octopus on a trampoline. It likes to keep fit.

An exacto knife. I’ll use to defend myself in the, hopefully unlikely, event of terrorists bursting to my office.

A small flashlight. There are no batteries in it. The flashlight mainly functions as a conversation pieces.

An orange frog. It’s the muscle of the bunch and keeps the other critters in line.

A brown mastodon and a white mastodon. The mastodon is my spirit animal.

An orange soccer player. He’s going to head the ball in to the goal.

A porcupine.

A dachsund.

A monkey.

A blue baby dinosaur. Finally, proof that blue dinosaurs existed.

An orange cat. It’s huge. It’s head alone is as big as a dinosaur.

To the right of the dictionary is a huge, silver monkey. He is Sergeant Padraig O’Toole. He’s with the military police of Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron. No squadron squirrels misbehaves when he’s around. The good sergeant is also a nutcracker, so you can imagine the fear he inspires.

To the far right of the picture is my organizer, full of: magnifying glasses, magic markers, pencils, pencils, memory stcks, and other things.

So much excitement in front of me. What is there is the outside world to rival elegant joy of my desk?

 

 

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Deep Thought Man Ponders Shrink Wrap

I have often thought what Deep Thought Man is pondering.

Deep Thought Man #2

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Evil Things – Printers

Evil incarnate

Two days, I assembled tax forms. I entered some data as well. All was right with the world. Indeed, the bluebirds sang.

Not so much yesterday. The bluebirds fell to cussing as evil stalked the land.

In the form of a printer. My previous printer, which was as a goodly a printer that could be expected. It would read both sides of a two-sided document. Then it would scan or copy the forms, depending on the chore. The bluebirds sang.

But it died. The bluebirds cried. I supposedly bought the replacement model. It cost a bit more.

Little did I know that Satan had breathed a bit of his evil spirit into the new printer. It didn’t scan both sides of a page! That’s so important to me. And what the heck, how can a replacement model, a more expensive model, cost more and not do as much.

The evil onslaught continued. It took me 8.5 hours to get the printer to do any sort of scanning at all. Apparently, Hewlett Packard had not seen fit to provide 8, eight!, necessary updates. So, now I can scan, but I have to do manual steps and this takes much longer. We are living in perilous times, gentle readers. Watch your printer. Just don’t show fear. They can sense fear. When they do, they’ll ruin your print job and steal your soul. Take care.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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