Posts Tagged With: dessert

De Lancey’s Daily Deeds – Day 2

Very busy today. I did finances in the morning. Then I went to the supermarket to get somethings. Let me tell you cream cheese can be anywhere. Something else was hard to find. I spent a long time looking for those things.

I went home to start preparing for a birthday l and birthday dessert for Number Two Son. Well a lot of preparation. Bottleneck occurred when 8″*8″ casserole dish was not where it should have, nor could it be discovered in its secondary haunts. I was later informed of an unsuspected location. It was found.

I walked 30 minutes to eye therapy. Did 45 minutes of eye therapy, which is definitely more tiring than regular physical activity. Walked 30 minutes back. Prepared and cooked for the next 3 hours. Did a bunch of dishes during lulls in cooking.

Celebrated Birthday dinner and dessert. Birthday dinner was Tacos al Pastor. Desset was Blueberry Cheesecake.

Sorry, this post isn’t as creative as most but I’m tired and my hurts a fair amount.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Banana Split

American Dessert

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BANANA SPLIT

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INGREDIENTS­
2½ tablespoons hot fudge sauce or chocolate syrup
1 banana
1 scoop chocolate ice cream*
1 scoop strawberry ice cream*
1 scoop vanilla ice cream*
½ tablespoon roasted chopped peanuts
¼ cup whipped cream**
3 maraschino cherries with stems
¼ teaspoon sprinkles (optional)
* = Should be fairly firm.
** = Oh heck, spray or spoon as much whipped cream as you want.
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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banana split boat or small oval dish
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Serves 1 or 2. Takes 5 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Microwave hot fudge sauce for 20 seconds or put hot fudge sauce in small pot. Heat on low until sauce becomes warm and fluid. Peel banana and split in half along its length.
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Place banana halves cut sides face up in banana split boat. Put ice cream scoops between banana halves. Drizzle hot fudge sauce over ice cream. Sprinkle chopped peanuts over fudge sauce. Spoon whipped cream over peanuts. Sprinkle sprinkles over whipped cream. Top everything with maraschino cherries.
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Note: Work quickly if the temperature in your kitchen is 90 degrees or more.
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TIDBITS
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1) In 1904, David Evans Strickler, of Tassel Pharmacy created first banana split for the nearby sweet-toothed college students of Latrobe, Pennsylvania. The tasty dessert spread like wildfire across the world. Alas, swirling controversy enveloped the tasty dish with multiple towns claiming to have created the first banana split. In 2004 the National Association of Ice Cream Retailers (NAICR) declared Latrobe to be the birthplace of the banana split. Nine years later the Pennsylvania Museum and Historical Commission placed a plaque at the former site of Tassel Pharmacy. Someone later,  perhaps at midnight, erected a gigantic banana split statue nearby. Show up there to see the activities of Latrobe’s annual Great American Banana Split Celebration. Be sure to go there and see how exciting and tasty history really can be. Latrobe welcomes you with open arms and split bananas.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Malva Pudding

South African Dessert

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MALVA PUDDING

(Malvapoeding)

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INGREDIENTS – CAKE
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2 tablespoons butter, melted
⅔ cup white sugar
3½ tablespoons apricot jam
2 eggs
1 teaspoon baking powder
¾ cup whole milk
¼ teaspoon salt
1¼ cups flour
no-stick spray
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE
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1 cup evaporated milk or heavy whipping cream
½ cup brown sugar
5 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
8″ * 8″ baking or casserole dish
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Serves 8. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – CAKE
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add 2 tablespoons melted butter and sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on medium until butter and sugar become creamy. Add apricot jam, baking powder, eggs, milk, and salt. Mix with beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Gradually add flour, mixing all the while until well blended. Spray baking dish with no-stick spray. Pour batter into baking dish. Bake for 35 minutes at 350 degrees or until toothpick inserted into middle comes out clean. Poke holes in cake with fork.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE
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About 10 minutes before cake is done, add all sauce ingredients to large pan. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until sugar and butter melt, the mixture becomes smooth, and bubbles start to form. Remove from heat and cover. Ladle warm sauce evenly over cake. Let cake sit for 20 minutes to give the cake time to absorb the sauce. Cut cake into 12 pieces. Goes well with vanilla ice cream.
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TIDBITS
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1) Malva puddings are square. Keyboard keys are square. Keyboard keys were inspired by malva puddings. Because everyone loves malva puddings.
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2) Most malva pudding is to be found in South Africa. But there can’t be many South Africa keyboard users and professional typists in comparison to the rest of the world.
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3) That’s true now, but in the first year in the existence of the square keys, 98% of the square-key enthusiasts were South African.
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4) Indeed, these squarekeyers so loved their malva pudding that they made their keys from fresh malva. As one could imagine, typing with fresh malva was quite squishy. Globs of malva pudding got into everything, particularly the keyboard. Typing became impossible.
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5) Everyone knows the surrender ceremony ending the war with Japan was signed on the Battleship Missouri. This document was supposed to have been composed on a square-key typewriter. But the fresh malva keys gummed up the typewriter. No more malva typewriters, no Japanese surrender. No surrender would have meant more atomic bombs, perhaps a bloody invasion of Japan.
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6) Which was bad.
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7) Fortunately, Corporal Lucy Dubai, reserve typist second class, had her personal round-key with her. Her roundkeyer was made of metal with glass caps.
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8) Sure, these keys didn’t give off the same pleasing scent of the square malva keys, but they worked. General MacArthur had Corporal type up the surrender document. The relevant dignitaries signed the surrender terms that very day.
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9) Grateful soldiers and marines, scheduled for the invasion of Japan. Lucy Dubai became a wildly popular pinup girl in barracks all over the Pacific Ocean. Her roundkeyer replaced the malvakeyer as the number-one typewriter pinup. Round keys would dominate the world for decades.
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10) Culinary anthropologists general credit Lucy* of Olduvai Gorge with inventing the first roundkeyer. So, you’d think that round keys would dominate the world to the very moment that you’re reading this tidbit.
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11) However, much of humanity left Africa after Lucy’s invention. Those who went to Europe would favor square keys. This bias can be found in their DNA. However, the tribes who stayed in Africa and those who trekked to Asia preferred round keys. Waves of squarekeyers and roundkeyers would eventually wash up on the shores of North America causing tension and conflict in the United States that haunts us to this very day.
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12) Then how did squares conquer the modern keyboard world? It has something to do with a bar bet at the Blue Armadillo in 1993. There, now you know.
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13) * = Corporal Lucy Dubai could trace direct descent from Lucy of Olduvai Gorge.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Deep Thought Man Ponders Capone

Deep Thought Man #9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pearl Sugar

Belgian Dessert*

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PEARL SUGAR

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INGREDIENTS
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3 cups sugar
3½ tablespoons water
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Takes 40 minutes. Make 3½ cups.
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* = Belgian pearl sugar is larger than the Swedish variety and resembles pearly white pebbles. It’s sugar, if you can find it, has large granules made from sugarbeets. The Belgian variety is best for Liege, or Belgian, waffles. Swedish pearl sugar, pärlsocker, has smaller sugar granules. Use Swedish pearl sugar to top pastries, cakes, and breads.
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PREPARATION
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Add both ingredients to 2 large pans. Mix with wooden spoon or spatula. Use low heat. Stir constantly until clumps start to form. (If too much loose sugar remains, add 1 more teaspoon sugar and stir again.) Try for larger clumps if you want Belgian pearl sugar and smaller clumps if you’re going for Swedish pearl sugar.
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When happy with clump sizes, dry them out over low heat for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and let cool until clumps harden.
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TIDBITS
1) Swedish pearl sugar granules are small. Belgian pearl sugar granules are big. But are they the world’s biggest?  No. Sugarologists say Tahitian granules are 23-to-25 percent than those from Belgium.
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2) Culinary historians says the largest pearl sugar granule came from Greenland during the Viking Age. Please Bengt Erickson’s The Sugar Cane Fields of Greenland’s East Settlement, (Sockerrörsfälten i Grnlands Östra Bosättning.)
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3) Erickson raised cane from 1012 to 1025. His success encouraged hundreds of other Swedish Vikings to voyage over and do the same. Unfortunately, so many came to harvest sugar that they completely chopped down all the trees in Greenland’s vast forest just to build their log cabins.
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4) What, you you’ve never heard of the Great Greenlandic Forest? You say that aren’t any trees there? Sure, now.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Strawberry Cobbler

American Dessert

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STRAWBERRY COBBLER

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INGREDIENTS
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1¾ fresh strawberries
½ cup sugar (½ cup more later)
1¾ teaspoons baking powder
1 cup flour
1 cup warm whole milk
⅜ teaspoon salt
½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup melted butter (1 tablespoon more later.)
1 tablespoon butter
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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8″ * 13″ casserole dish
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Serves 12. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Completely remove stem from strawberries. Cut strawberries in half. Add strawberries and ½ cup sugar to 1st mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly with spatula. Add baking powder, flour, milk, salt, ½ cup sugar, and vanilla extract to 2nd mixing bowl. Use spatula to slowly fold in melted butter. This is the batter. Stop when all is combined. (Overstirred crust will be dense, not fluffy.)
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Grease casserole dish with 1 tablespoon butter. Pour batter into casserole dish. Use slotted spoon to sugar-coated strawberries onto batter. Do not stir. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until cobbler turns golden brown andl strawberry juices bubble.
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TIDBITS
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1) Just as pigging is the process of making new pigs, shoemaking is the process of making new shoes. In the 19th-century shoes were made by shoemakers. Cobblers cobbled things together, such as shoes that had come apart. All this should have been easy to understand–unlike quantum physics or nuclear missile repairs–to the many 19th-century peasants, who called shoemakers cobblers.
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2) So, if people get confused so easily, it’s hardly surprising that in 1812 Napoleon invaded Russia instead of Austria. His soldiers shoes fell apart from the wet Russian rain. But there was no leather to be had, the French soldiers had eaten all the cattle. Fortunately, there were a lot of strawberries in Russia in 1812, The Year of Napoleon and Strawberries. In the winter, Nappy’s plucky cobblers repaired shoes with layers of frozen strawberries. These repairs lasted all the way back to France. French chefs used these strawberries to make strawberry cobblers to honor the heroic cobblers.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

American Dessert

GLUTEN FREE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

1¼ teaspoon baking soda
2¼ cups gluten free flour*
¾ teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
½ cup sugar
2 eggs
1½ teaspoons vanilla
12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

* = I used King Arthur Gluten-Free Measure For Measure Flour.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
2 cookie sheets

Makes 50 cookies. Takes 1 hour. (Varies with the number of batches.)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add baking soda, flour, and salt to 1st, large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until thoroughly blended. Add butter, brown sugar, sugar, eggs, and vanilla to 2nd, larger mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Gradually add dry mixture from 1st mixing bowl to the butter/sugar mixture in 2nd mixing bowl. Mix with beater at medium setting until thoroughly mixed. Fold in chocolate chips. Mix with hands until well blended.

Roll dough into little balls about 1″ wide. Leave a 1″ gap between chocolate chip/dough balls. Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. (Baking times for successive batches may vary.) Let cookies cool for 2 minutes before transferring with a spatula to wire rack or cold plate. Cool for an additional 5-to-20 minutes or as long as you can stand waiting.

TIDBITS

1) Culinary archaeologists hold Lucy of Olduvai Gorge baked the first cookies 3.2 million years ago. Lucy cookies inspired her hominid neighbors to evolve into humans and to develop agriculture. Farming freed people from non-stop hunting and gathering. This left time for adults to get frisky. Frisky adults sparked a population explosion that ate up all the wheat. Whole tribes left Africa searching for new lands suitable for wheat and gluten-free substitutes. Humanity’s ascent had begun.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vanilla Pudding 2

American Dessert

VANILLA PUDDING

INGREDIENTS

2 egg yolks
3 tablespoons cornstarch
⅛ teaspoon salt
½ cup sugar
2⅓ cups whole milk
1½ tablespoons butter, softened
½ tablespoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSILS

4 dessert dishes or ramekins
plastic wrap

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Beat egg yolks in mixing bowl. Add cornstarch, salt, and sugar to saucepan. Mix with spatula. Add whole milk slowly, while stirring gently with spatula. Cook using medium heat until mixture boils and thickens. Stir constantly to prevent burning. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly.

Add ½ of the cornstarch/sugar/whole milk mixture to egg yolks. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add this mixture to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium heat. Boil for 1 minute. Stir constantly and gently.

Remove from heat. Add butter and vanilla. Stir gently until well blended. Pour pudding into dessert dishes. Cover with plastic wrap. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour mixture firms into pudding.

TIDBITS

1) Stars are made from vanilla pudding. How do we know this? Stars are white. So is vanilla pudding white. The Sun is hot. That is because it’s yellow and not made from vanilla pudding.

2) If you were somehow able to catapult your vanilla pudding millions of light years away it would be far too small to be seen, even by the Hubble telescope. Indeed, you would need to buy trillions of pounds of: cornstarch, salt, sugar, milk, butter, and vanilla extract to fling a visible vanilla-pudding star into the far reaches of space. But don’t do it. Every van in the world would be needed to deliver your ingredients. The global economy would collapse. Oh my gosh, we’d have nothing left to make cake! For millions of years! What would we do for birthdays? I beg of you, reconsider this giant-star project!

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pineapple Pie

Fijian Dessert

PINEAPPLE PIE

INGREDIENTS

2 egg whites (2 entire eggs used later.)
3 tablespoons sugar

1 ¼ cups minced pineapple (no juice)
¼ cup pineapple juice
4 tablespoons flour
3/4 cup sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
juice from three limes
2 eggs
1 pie crust

PREPARATION

Combine 2 egg whites (The yolks from these eggs are not used here.) and 3 tablespoons sugar in bowl. Beat until thoroughly mixed. Set aside. Squeeze juice out of three limes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Heat crushed pineapple and pineapple juice on medium heat. Mix in 4 tablespoons flour, sugar, salt, lime juice, and two entire eggs. Heat and stir constantly until eggs are cooked and the mixture thickens. (The phrase “the plot thickens” is of culinary origin. Well, quite possibly.)

Pour pineapple mixture into pie crust. Make sure surface is smooth. Spread egg white mixture evenly over top. Put pie in oven and bake at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes or until top is golden brown. Take pie out to cool. If the hungry horde will let you, put the cooled pie in the fridge to chill. It’s okay if they don’t. It also tastes great warm.

TIDBITS

1) Jim Carrey’s character in the movie, The Truman Show, dreamed of going to Fiji. I have the identical map that adorns his wall in one scene.

2) Why is “fridge” spelled with a “d,” but “refrigerator” spelled without it?

3) Why is a bicycle feminine in French, but a bike is masculine?

4) The idea behind the FrisbeeTM came from pie tins.

5) “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” – Mary Poppins

6) At one time British sailors were called “limeys” because they ate limes at sea. This was done to prevent scurvy.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Banana Peanut-Butter Milkshake

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER MILKSHAKE

 

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2½ cups milk
1 cup peanut butter

UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Flex your fingers. Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, and peanut butter in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This delicious milkshake is a diet buster. Drink with care.

TIDBITS

1) The smell of a banana is the same as the pheromones produced by enraged swarms of bees. Just smelling a banana makes them think they should savagely attack an intruder. So, don’t walk up to a hive of bees with a banana in your hands and expect to make friends.

2) And don’t, don’t throw your banana at the hive.

3) You can polish your shoes with a banana peel. If you do, change shoes before approaching the abode of the busy bees.

4) You can buy banana beer in East Africa. I haven’t heard anything about approaching a hive with a mug of banana beer in your hand.

5) And for goodness sake, why do you keep approaching a bee hive, anyway?

6) Indeed, Paris once fell to the Vikings in because of bees.

7) The Viking Army, under the command of Ragnar Lothbrok, attacked Paris in 845.

8) The ferocious Vikings assaulted the city walls time and time again by climbing up tall, thin ladders.

9) But the defending Franks simply pushed the scaling ladders away.

10) Eventually, the Vikings became tired of falling backwards onto hard ground. Indeed, this whole ordeal made them rather cranky.

11) And there’s nothing worse than a cranky Viking.

12) The Vikings started to fight among themselves.

13) Until Ragnar walked toward a bee hive while holding a mug of honey beer.

14) Sure, the bees viciously attacked him ferociously, but he got an idea.

15) The very next day, Ragnar “Puffy Face” Lothbrok’s army catapulted bee hives and kegs of honey beer over the city walls. The enraged bees attacked the Parisians so mercilessly that the city’s clambered over the city’s fortifications unopposed. Paris fell. The Vikings would run amok in Europe for another 200 years. There you go.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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