Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

Shrimp Cashew Stir Fry

Chinese Entree

SHRIMP CASHEW STIR FRY

INGREDIENTS

2 celery stalks
3 dry red chiles or Thai chiles
3 scallions or green onions
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1½ tablespoons light soy sauce or soy sauce
½ teaspoon sugar
1 pound shrimp, pealed, deveined, 31-40 count
⅔ cup roasted cashews*
¼ cup water chestnuts, sliced

* = Roast plain cashews with 2 teaspoons vegetable oil in pan or air fryer, if you can’t find roasted cashews.

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice celery,. Add enough water to cover celery to small pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add celery. Boil celery for 30 seconds. Drain and set aside.

Dice chiles, and scallions. Add vegetable oil to large pot. Heat at medium-high heat until a bit of scallion starts to dance. Add scallion, light soy sauce, and sugar. Sauté at medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently.

Reduce heat to medium. Add shrimp, cashews, chile, and water chestnuts. and sauté for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Stir frequently. Add celery. Simmer for 2 minutes. Stir frequently.

TIDBITS

1) I wrote this recipe assuming a person would be reading it, that a person would be making this dish come to life.

2) But there’s absolutely nothing in the recipe referring to a human chef.

3) There’s even no mention of the cook needing an opposable thumbs. So, if you’re quite the clever sheep, clever enough to read recipes in English, then go for it.

4) The title could also be interpreted as telling a shrimp to stir fry a cashew.

5) Or perhaps this stir fry is meant for a chef named Shrimp Cashew and no one else.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tired From Busy Day

Sorry, but there won’t a funny blog today. I spent many hours assembling Number Two Son’s university expenses. Then I spent two hours making a gourmet soup, Saoto, from Suriname. My back hurts. I’m tired. Behave yourselves while I’m recuperating.

metaphorical me

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: tired | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Roasted Chestnuts

American Dessert

ROASTED CHESTNUTS

INGREDIENTS

1 pound chestnuts (most of the fresh ones are available in Autumn)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking pan

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. While oven preheats, cut an “x” that covers one entire side on each chestnut. Make the cut deep enough to cut through the shell. (This makes the chestnut easy to peel. It also keeps it from exploding. This really can happen if you omit this step.)

Place chestnuts on baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes or until chestnuts become tender, the chestnut shells start to open and become easy to peel, and the edible nut that’s inside turns golden brown. Remove from heat. Cover with kitchen towel. Let cool for 5 minutes. Peel and eat immediately.

TIDBITS

1) As you can see, the left chestnut in the above photo is unpeeled. It also has an “x” cut into it by a knife. This makes it much easier to peel. The two chestnuts on the right have been peeled and are ready to eat. ☺

2) But wait! This narrative gets even more exciting. ☺☺

3) When prehistoric tribes decided to cut “x”s on chestnuts, they inadvertently developed the game Tic-Tac-Toe. The uncut chestnuts became “zero” or the letter “o.” These doughty cavemen were already two letters on the way to the present English alphabet. Go, cavemen, go! Excelsior!

4) Then one fine summer day caveman Carl La Fong invented the letter “b.” (We know about La Fong because he signed his cave paintings. They’re worth quite a bit if you can discover one.) Ancient peoples could now spell the word “box.”

5 Before you knew it, peoples everywhere had an alphabet and words for everything. Not much later, the word “box” led to actual boxes. CheeriosTM and AmazonTM became possible. And we owe it all to chestnuts and the visionary Carl La Fong. Yay.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and happy new year from me and the critters of Paul’s Flying Squirrel Squadron.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, NORAD Tracks Santa said the jolly Saint Nick delivered 7,623,693,263 gifts last night. Well done, sir.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: things that make me happy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Christmas Wreath

Hi! This is the Christmas Wreath I made. I dyed the pinecones and glued to a wreath made of branches. I hope all of you are holding up well and are stress free, and happy.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Samoan Chop Sui

Samoan Entree

CHOP SUI

INGREDIENTS

½ pound noodles, rice vermicelli or bean thread
4 cups chicken broth and water as necessary to cover noodles
1 medium onion
1 fresh bok choy or 2 cups Chinese cabbage
1 pound chicken breast
2 tablespoons peanut oil or vegetable oil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1¼ teaspoons minced ginger
1 cup soy sauce
¼ cup kecap manis or soy sauce
3 spring onions

SPECIAL UTENSILS

colander
kitchen scissors

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add rice noodles to large pot. Add hot chicken and as much hot water as necessary to cover noodles. Drain in colander, reserving 1 cup chicken broth from pot. Dice onion. Shred bok choy. Cut chicken into ½” cubes.

Add oil and green onion to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes, minced garlic, and minced ginger. Stir until well blended. Reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 10 minutes or until chicken cubes brown. Stir enough to ensure even browning.

Add reserved 1 cup chicken broth from pot, cooked noodles, bok choy. soy sauce, and kecap manis. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Snip noodles into manageable bits with kitchen scissors or regular scissors. Dice spring onions. Garnish chop sui with spring onion.

TIDBITS

1) Pause and reflect.

2) Meditate.

3) Now look at the following pictures.

boulette                                                                         roulette

 

4) They look amazingly similar, don’t they? This is no accident.

5) The picture on the left is a boulette wheel.

6) The one on the right is a roulette wheel.

7) Boulette and roulette are both games of chance.

8) They are both played with a bowl.

9) The two games are fun ways to lose money quickly.

10) Boulette means little bowl in French. Roulette translates as little wheel.

11) If these two gambling ventures are so similar, how is it that we only play roulette?

12) Both games involves spinning.

13) In roulette, a finely balanced wheel is spun within a bowl. However in boulette, the entire bowl is spun. Spinning a bowl works fine when it sits on a well oiled table. Well sort of. An over enthusiastic spin will send the bowl off the table where it will shatter into a million pieces.

14) Also, it is remarkably hard to spin a bowl of chop sui that’s atop tablecloth. Go ahead, try it. On second thought, no. And then, and then, so many games of boulette ended when a hungry gambler ate the chop sui. No chop sui, no pointer green onion to point at a number, no game. And so, boulette rapidly fell out of favor. Long live roulette.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jane the Judgmental Cat: Why Aren’t You Working?

Jane the Judgmental Cat says, “I know I’m beautiful, but if you’re looking at me, you’re not working. Why aren’t you working? Get back to work.”

Jane

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Jane the Judgmental Cat | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Need to See a Laughing Puppy and Toddler

 

Seeing cute things make us smile. They make us happy. Laughter is contagious, which is good because it’s great at relieving stress. Watching toddlers makes us happy. Looking at puppies lightens our souls. So, this photo of a laughing puppy and little girl should make your day. You are now immune from sadness for sixteen hours.

Have a great day.

Therapists busy at work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quinoa Api

Bolivian Breakfast

QUINOA API

INGREDIENTS

1¼ cups quinoa
2¾ cups milk
2⅔ cups water
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon honey
2½ tablespoons sugar
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

fine-mesh colander

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse quinoa in colander. Add quinoa and 2⅔ cups water to pot. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir enough to keep quinoa from burning. Add milk. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir constantly Reduce heat to low. Add cinnamon stick, honey, sugar, and vanilla extract. Simmer for 35 minutes or until mixture thickens and quinoa cracks open. Stir enough to keep milk and quinoa from burning. Remove cinnamon stick. Serves in bowls.

TIDBITS

1) According to Colombian culinary mythology, quinoa was given us 7,123.26 years ago by the condor god, Yclept.. Yclept also gave them the secret of planting and harvesting, thus freeing the Andean people from hunter gathering. Hunter gathering is much the same thing as driving around from one supermarket to another looking for mocha creamer for your coffee.

2) But with Ycelpt’s help, the Andeans always had quinoa, a great source of nutrition, right at home. This is like winning a refrigerator at a raffle. But there’s more. You open the fridge to see dozens of coffee mocha creamer bottles inside. You are freed, freed I tell you, from searching dispiritedly all over town for coffee mocha creamers.

3) So in gratitude, the Andeans switched from worshiping, Qi the god of hunter gathering to Yclept. Since quinoa looks like the stars, the Andeans worshiped them. This ticked off Qi, who tried to blot out the stars with milk. “Na, na, na, poo, poo,” said Yclept. “You didn’t throw enough milk. You only tossed enough to make the Milky Way.”

4) Yclept was right. We can still see the stars. Whew! We can still spot the Milky way. But we humans eventually got an immensely popular candy bar out of it. The Milky Way gave the Andeans the idea for this Quinoa Api. It just shows you how good things can come out of a god’s tantrum.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Need to See a Little Girl Blowing Bubbles

Yesterday was a tough day. Today was a busy day. So much adulting for me. I needed to see a little girl blowing bubbles. This picture makes me happy. I hope it does the same for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.