Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

When I was Unambiguously Better Than a Professional Football Player

Posted on October 14, 2023 by pauldelancey

1) I forget the year, but the San Diego Chargers were essentially one play away from making it to the Super Bowl. They had their best team ever.

The situation: The Chargers were leading the New England Patriots by less than a touchdown. Tom Brady was driving the Patriots toward a game-leading touchdown. They had not enough time for another possession. It was a 4th town and perhaps 25 yards to a first down. Brady passed the ball downfield. The Charger defender intercepted the ball. Then he inexplicably tried to make yardage on his interception. Someone on the Patriots stripped the ball. Another Patriot recovered the ball. A few plays later, Brady threw for a touchdown. The Patriots went to the Super Bowl.  The San Diego Chargers didn’t. In fact, they would never go to the Super Bowl before leaving town.

HOW I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS FOOTBALLER

1) I would not have caught the ball. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

2) I would not have even tried to catch the ball. I would have let the pass fall to the ground. The pass gets ruled incomplete. The Chargers take over on downs and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

3) If for some reason, I had actually caught the ball, I would immediately crumpled to the ground and stayed there. The Chargers gain possession and run out the clock. Thanks to me, they go to the Super Bowl.

If only I had been on defense for this play.

­­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Near Success

Posted on October 13, 2023 by pauldelancey

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Lyrics of Patsy Cline

Posted on October 12, 2023 by pauldelancey

The great Patsy Cline had a big hit with the excellent song,  “Walkin’ After Midnight.”

Now doesn’t her word “me” sound like “bee.” I have questions.

Why is Patsy looking for a bee after midnight? I mean, bees are not noctural. She’ll find no bees in the dark. She’d have more luck in the daytime.

Why is she so worried about one bee? Is this the biblical parable about the shepherd searching for his one missing sheep, but this time with a beekeeper and a bee?

Is she an apianphile? It’s astounding how seldomly that words enters common conversation.

Does she name her bees? If so, what does she call the other bees? Like Bee 1, Bee 2, Bee 3, etc.

Even if she finds a bee flitting about after midnight, how does she know it’s the missing Bee 17 and not some feral bee?

 

Mishear lyrics #10

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

De Lancey’s Daily Deeds – Day 2

Posted on October 11, 2023 by pauldelancey

Very busy today. I did finances in the morning. Then I went to the supermarket to get somethings. Let me tell you cream cheese can be anywhere. Something else was hard to find. I spent a long time looking for those things.

I went home to start preparing for a birthday l and birthday dessert for Number Two Son. Well a lot of preparation. Bottleneck occurred when 8″*8″ casserole dish was not where it should have, nor could it be discovered in its secondary haunts. I was later informed of an unsuspected location. It was found.

I walked 30 minutes to eye therapy. Did 45 minutes of eye therapy, which is definitely more tiring than regular physical activity. Walked 30 minutes back. Prepared and cooked for the next 3 hours. Did a bunch of dishes during lulls in cooking.

Celebrated Birthday dinner and dessert. Birthday dinner was Tacos al Pastor. Desset was Blueberry Cheesecake.

Sorry, this post isn’t as creative as most but I’m tired and my hurts a fair amount.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: De Lancey's Daily Deeds | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Lyrics of Little River Band

Posted on October 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

The great group Little River Band had a big hit with “Lonesome Loser.” The song contained the following lyrics:

“Have you heard about the lonesome loser?
“Beaten by the queen of hearts every time.”

I, however, often heard:

“Have you heard about the loathsome loser?”

Now this changes the meaning a bit. Now if the protagonist, the Loathsome Loser, perpetually antagonized the queen by acting loathsome around her, it’s quite understandable that she would want to beat him. Indeed, I am forced to admit I don’t understand why anyone would want to sing the praises of a loathsome man. In some ways, I’m glad that he loses. However, while I understand why the queen would want to commit grievous bodily harm against such a reprobate,  I don’t think her actions merit praise either.

Misheard lyrics #9

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Words: Bath Book

Posted on October 7, 2023 by pauldelancey

Awesome entry #25

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word: Mindfull

Posted on October 6, 2023 by pauldelancey

Awesome entry #24

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Strawberry Milk

Posted on October 5, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

­

STRAWBERRY MILK

­
INGREDIENTS
­
6 cups milk
1½ pounds fresh strawberries*
¾ cup sugar
½ cup water
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
blender
fine mesh colander
7 cups of mason jars or other airtight containers.
­
* = There are only 4 ingredients providing flavor in this recipe. Please use fresh strawberries.
­
PREPARATION
­
Remove stems from strawberries. Cut strawberries into 4 pieces. Add strawberry bits, sugar, and water to pan. Bring to soft boil (just starting to bubble) using medium heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until strawberry bits become tender and mixture starts to thicken.
­
Remove from heat. Add strawberry mixture to blender. Puree mixture until smooth. If strawberry bits remain, add strawberry puree to colander. Strain strawberry puree through colander.
­
Add strained strawberry puree and milk to Mason jars. Mix with long wooden spoon. Will last 2-to-3 days in an airtight containers in the refrigerator.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Many people in Medieval Europe believed in witches. Witches could strike you down with nasty illnesses, make off with you cattle, and turn into a newt. So naturally, peasants back then wanted to catch and burn witches. How did you determine if someone was a witch? Why, she had warts all over her face. People suffering from warts got burned at the stake all the time. While bad for suggested witches, such a practice went a long way to eliminating warts. The advent of modern law  meant that no more people went up in flames. Unfortunately, proving witchcraft beyond the shadow of a doubt, means that warts have made a comeback. There is a tradeoff to everything.
­
2) It’s exciting to note that “straw” spelled backwards is “warts.” Indeed, Medieval chefs found that “straw”berries canceled out “warts.” Warty faced peasants drank strawberry milk to get better. No more warts, no more witches. No more burnings, a good thing surely. If you ever suspect the law wants to try you as a witch, may I suggest you make this Strawberry Milk right away?
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wanda Wunder Wonders About Watermelons

Posted on October 4, 2023 by pauldelancey

An eternal question.

Wanda Wunder #34

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Wanda Wunder | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’ll Want to Party With Me

Posted on October 3, 2023 by pauldelancey

I spent nearly all day tracking down errors in a huge spreadsheet. Ok, I did make chile, chili, cheese dogs on toasted buns. But that was only a small break from cleaning up a spreadsheet.

Yep, you know you want to party with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.