Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Dear Readers,

I wish peace, prosperity, and all the best for you.

Iggy piggy poo

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How to Rule Any Country You Want

Emperor La Fong’s favorite castle

It’s easy! Simply share this blog to a few people and you will be given absolute power over some tiny nation. But wait, there’s more. The size of your dominion increases with the number of shares. What are you waiting for? Share now and rule.

“I shared this blog only twice and now I’m the Emperor of Liechtenstein.”

— Carl La Fong

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Need to See a Pomegranate

Sometimes you gotta do and see something, but not for the usual big reasons. Sometimes you need to up and see things just ‘cuz.

And here it is, a pomegranate. Just ‘cuz.

You need to see #36

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Rosemary Olive Oil Soap

ROSEMARY OLIVE OIL SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ teaspoon green mica powder
1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol
⅓ cup fresh rosemary
2 pounds olive oil soap base
1 teaspoon rosemary essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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spice grinder
soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add rosemary to spice grinder. Grind until the rosemary bits are small as possible. Add green mica powder, and 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut olive oil base into 1″ cubes. Add olive oil base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add green mica powder/isopropyl mix and rosemary essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits rosemary bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add rosemary bits. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) There have been many great Rosemarys in the world. The top of the list are: Rosemary Clooney – singer, Rosemary Harris – movie actress, and Rosemary Wells – children’s author.
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2) The closest we have to an infamous Rosemary is Rose Mary Woods, President Nixon’s secretary, who testified that she’d accidently erased 18.5 minutes of a critical Watergate tape. Note the space between Rose and Mary in her name, so she really isn’t a full-blooded Rosemary. Basically you can count on any Rosemarys you meet to be a rather good egg. Just look for a space in the name. Even so, the world teems with good Rose Marys. Life can be complicated.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vera the Virus Tells a Joke

Vera the Virus #4, 12/18/2023

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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You Need to See Little Kids Going Back to School

You get overwhelmed. You get crabby. You see nothing in the big picture to relieve the gloom in your future.

You need to take a step back. You need to look at the present. You need to look at the little picture.

Specifically, a picture of little kids going back to school.

Ponder their adorable little faces. Seeing these children brightens the future oh so much.

Your heart while not quite soaring like a hawk, flits here and there like a butterfly.

You are no longer in your future. You are in a happy now.

You need to see #35

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Buddha’s Hand Vinaigrette

American Appetizer

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BUDDHA’S HAND VINAIGRETTE

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup olive oil or grapeseed oil
½ tablespoon salt
¼ cup lemon juice
5 tablespoons Buddha’s hand zest *
2 garlic clove
2 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
½ teaspoon thyme
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* = It is quite possible that you’ll need to make your own zest from a Buddha’s hand citron.  Buddha’s hand citron in organic or specialty supermarkets such as SproutsTM.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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zester, if as likely, you bought Buddha’s hand citron
Mason jar
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Makes 1 cup.  Takes 10 minutes or 25 minutes if you need to make your own zest.
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to Mason jar. Shake until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) Buddha’s Hand is supposed look like the hand of Buddha. Apparently, Buddha had about 16 fingers on a hand. Who knew?
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2) Baseball at one time, also had strange nicknames that referred to parts of the body. The best ones are:
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Bris “The Human Eyeball” Lord. His middle name is Robotham. Really.
Nick “Tomato Face” Cullup
Walt “No Neck” Williams
Wilbur “Raw Meat” Rodgers
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Football had Lou “The Toe” Groza
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The best non-body nickname is “Death to Flying Things” and was applied to Jack Chapman, Bob Ferguson, and Franklin Gutiérrez.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vera the Virus Tells a Joke

Vera the Virus #3 12/12/2023

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Vera the Virus | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s word: Afterbuy

Why is it so hard to find something we needed or would really like? Why do we only spot those items after we pay the cashier?

If only there were a word to describe this phenomenon. It’s time to correct this oversight.

TODAY’S AWESOME WORD

afterbuy

Awesome entry #29

 

­– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Persimmon Pomegranate Arugula Salad

American Appetizer

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PERSIMMON POMEGRANATE ARUGULA SALAD

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INGREDIENTS
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4 Fuyu persimmons
3 cups arugula
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup pomegranate seeds*
2 tablespoons pomegranate juice.
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* = 1 pomegranate will yield sufficient amount of these ingredients.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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mandoline (optional)
vegetable peeler (optional)
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Serves 4. Takes 15 minutes or a bit longer if you have scoop the seeds out of a pomegranate.
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PREPARATION
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Peal persimmons with peeler. Use mandoline to cut persimmons into slices ¼’ thick. Add all ingredients to large serving bowl. Toss with forks or spoons until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) On April 1, Farine du Ble demonstrated on her show, Talc Chef, how to make Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad, or APPs for short. Viewers tried it and recommended this salad to all their friends. “If want to have this dish, check it out on APPS. Unfortunately, most human ears cannot distinguish between APPs and apps. So, most people heard “Check it out on apps.”
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2) And so they went to their apps’ store to buy Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad. So many billions of people tried that they crashed the worldwide web and crashed communication everywhere. E-commerce looked ready to collapse. Decades-long depression loomed. Militaries from most countries ceased to function from lack of orders. The very few armies that didn’t rely on the internet could have conquered us all. It looked bad.
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3) Fortunately, world leaders had already decreed April 1st to be Global Nap Day. No orders for Arugula Persimmon Pomegranate Salad could have been shipped that day. Thus, the Great Interest crash couldn’t have affected commerce at all. Soldiers napped all over the Earth. So, no wars of conquest took place. Everything was okay. Still, it had been quite the close call. An emergency session of the United Nations renamed this dish to be Persimmon Pomegranate Arugula Salad, or PPAS. The threat to the internet vanished. Serenity returned to the world. Something to chew on.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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