”Sometimes the lessening of stress upon one’s life by eating something bad overpowers the ill effects of eating the bad food.”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
You might have missed it if you only watch mainstream media, Fox, or other media, but just a few days ago, Paul De Lancey, a rumor in his own time, declared his candidacy for president of the United States. In addition to his ability to construct run-on sentences and post hilarious e-cards on Pinterest, he is a firm defender of every American right to buy chocolate and bacon at fair prices.
Truly, a man of his age. All that’s lacking is a name for his party. Well, here it is:
Bacon and Chocolate.
Surprised you, huh? No, I guess the title gave it away
Anyway, come Election Day in November, please write in:
Bacon and Chocolate
President: Paul De Lancey
Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Here, so far is the platform of my political party. My party, unnamed as of now, is the only party where you, the voter, get to directly add planks to the platform. Be a part of democracy. Booyah!
1) Subsidized Bacon
2) Subsidized Chocolate Doughnuts
3) Subsidized Caffeine
4) Pro world peace
Citizen’s suggestions are welcome as are donations and doughnuts. Read this blog to keep track of our platform’s evolution.
“We can only win if we do not lose.” – me
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I am proud to announce Ms. Daphne Anne Humphrey has just become my Vice-Presidential candidate. See how deftly she expands and improves my political platform.
“I think you need to include bacon. That and World Peace. That should cover it. I’ll be your VP nominee. I can take on illiteracy, medical insurance for all, foreign policy in regards to the Middle East and perhaps the transportation system in the U.S.”
“The future is ours. We can only fail if we are outvoted.” – me
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Deeply hurt by President Obama’s continued indifference to my repeated requests, via blog and Facebook, to come to my house for dinner, I have decided to run for president as a write-in candidate. This endeavor while surely a long shot, has little chance of success.
I am running on the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Here is my platform:
1) Subsidized chocolate doughnuts for everyone.
2) Subsidized caffeine for everyone.
There, what could be of more benefit to everyone?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Hawaiian Entree
INGREDIENTS
6 frankfurters
1 white onion
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 cups crushed pineapple with juice
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 cup brown sugar
3 slices bacon
6 hot dog buns
PREPARATION
Put franks in pot. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium and cook for about 15 minutes. Cut bacon slices in half. Fry bacon on medium-high until it starts to become crispy or golden brown. Toast buns. (This does not mean to sit down on a hot pad.)
Mince onion. Melt butter in saucepan. Saute onions in butter until soft. Add cornstarch, pineapple with juice, cider vinegar, turmeric, cumin, meat spice, and sugar.
Put frank in hot dog bun. Put a half slice of bacon alongside the frank. Put a big spoonful of onion/pineapple/sugar mixture on top of everything.
TIDBITS
1) And to those who think government studies don’t reek of excitement . . .
“There were a number of significant items from the USDA Frankfurter Study. Notably, the USDA-ARS package rinse method, developed to facilitate this study, was six times more effective at recovering Listeria from frankfurter packages than the currently approved USDA-FSIS method.”
2) Take a deep breath. Drink some ice-cold root beer and sit down until your heart stops beating like a jackhammer. Okay?
“Using the ARS method, analyses of the 32,800 one-pound packages indicated 543 or 1.6% (range = 0 to 16% for the 12 plants) tested positive for L monocytogenes.” And so on.
– USDA Agricultural Research Service (ARS) Eastern Regional Research Center (ERRC) Spring 2003. “Microbial Food Safety Research Unit: Special Projects Team at ERRC.”
3) Even the attribution to this article is sexy.
4) I found this article by Googling “fun facts about hot dogs.”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 