Deeply hurt by President Obama’s continued indifference to my repeated requests, via blog and Facebook, to come to my house for dinner, I have decided to run for president as a write-in candidate. This endeavor while surely a long shot, has little chance of success.
I am running on the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Here is my platform:
1) Subsidized chocolate doughnuts for everyone.
2) Subsidized caffeine for everyone.
There, what could be of more benefit to everyone?