American Dessert
VANILLA FROSTING
INGREDIENTS
½ cup butter, softened
3½ cups confectioners’ sugar
3 tablespoons whole milk, room temperature
1¼ teaspoons vanilla extract
Makes enough to frost 2 9″ cakes. Takes 15 minutes.
PREPARATION
Add butter and confectioners’ sugar to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Add whole milk and vanilla extract. Blend using electric beater set on medium until frosting become fluffy and smooth.
TIDBITS
1) Most people believe that punk rock is a relatively new phenomenon*, starting in the 1970s. Modern punk rock’s features electric guitars. The first widely popular punk was the Sex Pistols.
2) * = By the way, phenomenon** is a hard word to spell. So, is the song “Mahna Mahna” as sung by the Muppets(tm)
, which in turn was heavily based on “Mah Nà, Mah Nà,” by Piero Umiliani.
3) Anyway, culinary musical historians tell us that punk-rock first surfaced in 1587. There were no electric guitars in 1587, because there were no electrical outlets. Nor many giga watt electrical power stations either during the reign of Elizabeth II. Nor many true guitars. In fact, the Elizabethan Age’s punkest musical instrument, the violin, was invested during her reign. Go, good Queen Bess.
4) Philip II of Spain, a fervent Catholic, hated Liz’s Protestant England. Catholics and Protestants all over loathed each other. Indeed, Monarchs often burned followers of the wrong religion, Speaking of burning heretics, you were wise not to bring up religion at BBQs or any gathering, really.
5) Then in early 1588, Flagrant Violins, the first true punk band, came out with “Philip II is a Fathead.” The song hit the top of the charts. An already irate Phil hit the roof. Indeed, he ordered the construction of the mighty Armada to conquer England.
6) English sailors and cold winter winds destroyed the Armada. Spain would never again threaten England. But it had been a near thing. So, good Queen Bess forbad punk rock music until April 1, 1970. The anagram loving queen even ordered Flagrant Violins to change its name to Vanilla Frosting. English chefs thought, “Vanilla Frosting, what a good idea!” Which is why we have cakes with this frosting. Life is good.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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