Wine Pairings for Simple Folk

Goes well with aged ports

There are many wine experts, aka oenologists, who can tell you the right wine goes perfectly with all sorts of gourmet foods, such as filet mignon or sole meuniere. And you’d quite well to follow their advice.

But what wines pairs well with common foods? Like peanut butter for example?

I’m glad you asked. Here is:

WINE PAIRINGS FOR SIMPLE FOLKS

SIMPLE FOOD                       WINE PAIRING

peanut butter                           aged ports
strawberry jam                        tavel
pb&j                                           garnet or combined aged port and tavel
grapefruit                                  mouvreche rose
honey from the jar                  aged chardonnay
egg white                                  champagne
lemonade                                 chenin blanc
banana                                      sauvignon blanc
bluberry pie                             blu prefer
house salad                             combine albarino with blu prefer
rare hamburger                      tavel. If you desire strawberry jam on your rare hamburger. Tavel’s your friend.
medium-rare burger              grenache rose
medium burger                     mouvreche rose. Medium burger and grapefruit, always a crowd-pleasing combo.
medium-well burger             white zinfandel
well-done burger                  moscato
burned burger                       cabinet sauvigon with dregs
tacos                                        oh my gosh, everything goes with tacos. But may I suggest a young riesling?
any food turning brown      an old garnet
prepared mustard                aged ports, like we have with peanut butter.  Would certainly go with a pb-mustard sandwich.
hot dog                                   white zinfandel

Well that’s that for now.

Happy eating.
Happy drinking.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Stroopwafel

Dutch Dessert

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STROOPWAFEL

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INGREDIENTS – WAFFLE
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¼ cup milk, warm
2¼ teaspoon yeast
½ cup butter, softened (⅓ cup more later)
2 eggs
¼ teaspoon salt
2¼ cups flour
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INGREDIENTS – FILLING
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1 cup brown sugar
⅓ cup butter, softened
3 tablespoons light corn syrup*
3 tablespoons molasses*
¾ teaspoon cinnamon
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* = Or substitute stroop syrup for these two ingredients. Stroop syrup can be found online.
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INGREDIENT – ASSEMBLY
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no-stick spray
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
pizzelle maker
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION – WAFFLE
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Add warm milk and yeast to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add ½ cup butter, eggs, and salt. Mix with electric beater set on medium until well blended. Add flour and knead until a smooth dough ball forms. Divide dough ball into 12 mini dough balls. Cover with cloth and set aside for 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – FILLING
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Add all filling ingredients to pan. Stir over low heat until butter and brown sugar melt. Let sit for 10 minutes.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Spray pizzelle maker with no-stick spray. Add a mini dough ball to center of each spot in the pizzelle maker. Press down on mini dough ball with spatula or oven mitt until it gets to about ½” of the edge of each pizzelle spot. Use pizzelle maker’s instructions to cook mini dough balls into cookies. Remove cookies. Use spatula to spread 1½ tablespoons filling over all of 1 cookie. Place a 2nd cookie on top of cookie with filling to form Stroopwafel. Repeat until all cookies have been used.
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TIDBITS
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1) Many people wonder how to pronounce “stroop” in Stroopwafel.
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2) Is it pronounced stroop or stroop?
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3) In fact, the second pronunciation is correct.
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4) Now you know.
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5) For the longest time, I never made this dessert as I had never thought this dessert was worth the money needed to buy a pizzelle.
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6) Pizzelle is a strange looking word.
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7) Anyway, I got a pizzelle maker for Christmas. Apparently Santa thought I had been rather well behaved.
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8) And indeed, I had indeed carried myself with distinction.
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9) Okay mostly.
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10) Well, just enough of the time to merit a pizzelle maker.
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11) I’m not giving it back. I’m not! I’m not, not even if I received it by mistake.
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12) How could I have received a pizzelle maker by mistake?
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13) I’m guessing that Santa’s sleigh made quite a sharp turn over my chimney to avoid a drone and a pizzelle making came tumbling down out of the toy sack.
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14) Santa hates drones for this very reason.
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15) More and more people and companies are buying drones. The Christmas Eve sky gets ever more difficult for Santa and his deer to navigate.
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16) Culinary Santologists say that Santa’s planning to deploy missile-defense systems on his sleigh for next year’s present run. Now, we’ll really see who’s naughty or nice. Ho! Ho! Ho!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Dear Readers,

I wish peace, prosperity, and all the best for you.

Iggy piggy poo

Categories: you need to get | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What I Did While I Was Awake

Swedish meatballs

1) Woke up. I inhaled and exhaled. Repeated.

2) Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.

3) Shuffled off to the kitchen.

4) Made egg nog. Mixed breadcrumbs with milk. Put both in fridge. Go me.

5) Cleaned the kitchen.

6) Spelled kitchen correctly

7) Stopped a range war.

8) Stopped a microwave war. Geez, people, chill out.

9) Wrapped presents.

10) Pondered the imponderable. Still don’t know how I did that. Just lucky, I guess.

11) Watched Number One Son and Number Two Son play video games for a while. Good to have the both of them home.

12) Decided not to write up a Christmas letter. Didn’t know how to explain why my great-great-great grandfather tried to conquer Europe.

12b) Took a nice relaxing bath. Read from my bath book, Mary’s Land.

13) Number One Son made a salad and helped a bit with making Swedish meatballs.

14) Cleaned the kitchen which had gotten messy again.

15)  Ate dinner with the natives.

16) Contemplated Kepler’s Law of Planetary Motion.

17) Number One Son made reservations for us for Tuesday at a cat cafe.

18) Wrote this blog.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: what I did | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How to Rule Any Country You Want

Emperor La Fong’s favorite castle

It’s easy! Simply share this blog to a few people and you will be given absolute power over some tiny nation. But wait, there’s more. The size of your dominion increases with the number of shares. What are you waiting for? Share now and rule.

“I shared this blog only twice and now I’m the Emperor of Liechtenstein.”

— Carl La Fong

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Carl La Fong, proof you cannot deny, you need to get | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Need to See a Pomegranate

Sometimes you gotta do and see something, but not for the usual big reasons. Sometimes you need to up and see things just ‘cuz.

And here it is, a pomegranate. Just ‘cuz.

You need to see #36

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rosemary Olive Oil Soap

ROSEMARY OLIVE OIL SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ teaspoon green mica powder
1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol
⅓ cup fresh rosemary
2 pounds olive oil soap base
1 teaspoon rosemary essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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spice grinder
soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add rosemary to spice grinder. Grind until the rosemary bits are small as possible. Add green mica powder, and 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut olive oil base into 1″ cubes. Add olive oil base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add green mica powder/isopropyl mix and rosemary essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits rosemary bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add rosemary bits. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) There have been many great Rosemarys in the world. The top of the list are: Rosemary Clooney – singer, Rosemary Harris – movie actress, and Rosemary Wells – children’s author.
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2) The closest we have to an infamous Rosemary is Rose Mary Woods, President Nixon’s secretary, who testified that she’d accidently erased 18.5 minutes of a critical Watergate tape. Note the space between Rose and Mary in her name, so she really isn’t a full-blooded Rosemary. Basically you can count on any Rosemarys you meet to be a rather good egg. Just look for a space in the name. Even so, the world teems with good Rose Marys. Life can be complicated.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did the Day Before Tomorrow

1) Woke up. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Showered, because cleanliness is a virture.

2) So is getting up. It’s important to get up, especially if you run the mile. As of press time, no one, man or woman, has won the mile race without getting of bed. I have no plans to compete in such a race. But it’s nice to know that if chose to do so, I could run my heart out.

3) Dressed casual. I was fit for society.

4) And I went out! For eye therapy. I  dodged people so adeptly that a Hall of Fame running back would be jealous.

5) Went over finances.

6)   Didn’t fight Verizon(tm) and Yahoo(tm). Maybe tomorrow. Of sure, I cussed a bit at them in the comfort of my office, but it was mostly perfunctory.

7)  Oh, not to worry, I came back from eye therapy. I walked both ways. Go me.

9) I made rosemary olive oil soap.

10) It didn’t turn out well. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

11)  Got out my spice grinder and ground the heck of the fresh rosemary. Atomized it, really.

12)  Performed multiple experiments on better ways of making Rosemary Olive Oil soap.

12) Made another batch. I’m praying that it will come out right.

13) Chatted briefly with Iceland and Paraguay. They agreed to postone their border dispute until I had more time to mediate. I expect a quick resolution as the two nations do not share a border.

14) Too tired to cook dinner. One of the natives is going out for chicken. Yay.

 

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Dante Abalone’s Inferno

We’ve all heard of the nine circles of Hell in Dante’s masterwork, The Inferno. But many of haven’t read it, but want to know what it said without really reading it. I am here to help you. The following is a brief summary of Abalone’s nine levels:

­First Circle: Limbo
The first circle is home of virtuous chefs and bloggers who were never baptized. All in all, a decent place.

Seco­nd Circle: Lust
Reserved for the lustful and adulterous. Dante makes it sound like these are bad things.

Third Circle: Gluttony
If you can’t get a reservation for the second circle, go for this one.

Fourth Circle: Greed
This level of Hell is reserved for the shrinkflaters; those evil souls who raise the cost of living by shrinking the size of their products

Fifth Circle: Aisle Blockers
Dante tells us that people who block supermarket aisles by leaving their shopping cart on one side of the aisle and then stand on the other will suffer horrific torments indeed.

Sixth Circle: Spammers
We all know how horrible these people are. May they suffer longer all-consuming afflictions that last longer than the time we spent deleting their crap, if that is possible.

Seventh Circle: Violence
You ought not to have done that. Mama was right.

Eighth Circle: People who produce, distribute, or sell printers.
Their punishment is to use their printers.

Ninth Circle: Treachery.
Baseball and football owners who persuade a city to tax itself into a stupor, then up and leave for an even more gullible metropolis.

Bottom of Pit: Satan. Boo! Hiss!

Now you know. Walk with pride.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: apocalyptic, face of evil, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vera the Virus Tells a Joke

Vera the Virus #4, 12/18/2023

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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