Number Two Son’s CPA double
Well. the title of this post gives it away, but I don’t care. I’m so proud of him.
My son is now an official Certified Public Account. Hooray!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Yoga instructor #15
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
And here it is
I have had my Honda HR-V for over 20,000 miles. In that distance, I’ve had:
1) One of the safety systems take control of the steering wheel and veer the car sharply to the edge of an overpass. Thank goodness, I successfully fought its attempt to move me away from a semi and over the edge of the bridge onto the road below. (Now, this can be a difficult onramp.) There’s little approach before entering the right lane of the freeway. Sometimes there’s a semi still in that lane. This involves driving briefly on the shoulder. It’s a bit tricky, but not difficult for an alert driver.)
The decision for this problem was utterly simple for Honda’s safety system. Avoid the semi and instead slam the side of the bridge and quite possibly plunge to the road below.
2) My windshielf cracked due to a tiny, tiny pebble.
Me: Okay, fix it Honda.
Honda: Not so fast, we need to order the part.
Me: Okay, order the part.
Honda: Not so fast, we don’t even now when we’ll get it. It could take montns. (I’d be driving all that time without a windshield!)
Me: Is there anything you could do?
Honda: You could call Honda national to see if they have it and if not, ask them to expedite the windshield as an emergency measure.
Me: Since you’re Honda dealership, could you call Honda National?
Honda: No. you have to call national.
It went rather downhill after that.
3) Slamming on the brakes for no apparent reason. I was not going faster than the flow of traffic and there were no cars in front of me, only to the left.
I’m sorry this is not a funny post.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My stunt double
I haven’t slept well for some days now. So, I’m very tired. I did go to my crafts group and worked on my Minnie Mouse latch project. Then I shopped for three special meals. It took a long time. I had planned to make Strawberry Balsamic Chicken but was too tired and had sad graham crackers instead,
I’m too tired to make a special picture, so my Stunt Double is going to fill in for me instead. He’s rather a nice guy.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
How many times has this happened to you? You’re standing still in an airport terminal looking at the departures board when someone slams into your side. Or you see them coming. You know you’re in their field of vision. You don’t move, confident that they’ll take steps to avoid you. Your confidence is misplaced.
Or you’re inside the plane waiting to find your seats. The person before you and your toddler son happens to be a man toting a humongous carry-on bag. He could lift his bag straight up into the overhead bin, but instead makes a large sweeping motion with his bag to get the necessary height. One small worry, your toddler’s tiny head is in the way of the gargantuan carry-on bag. Will the enormous bag kill your young son when it crashes into his tiny skull? Or will it merely cause irreparable brain damage? No, it won’t. Your belief in humanity has prepared you for such a thing and you easily block the turd ball’s bag. The turd ball merely registers mild surprise when his bag stops. (This actually happened to me! May the turd ball rot in Hell for all eternity eating lutefisk for each and every meal.)
Ahem. There must be a phrase for this sort of blindness.
And now there is:
TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE
Awesome entry #51
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The amazing saga of the Minnie Mouse Latch project continues. There is a little extra excitement associated with this project, though. The company that sold this kit, put down the color grid on the mesh at a slight angle. Usually if the side of the square I’m working is red, I use a bit of red yarn. However, the color on the side of the square is sometimes half red and half black. In these cases, I have to make an executive decision. These choices are fraught with concern. If I pick the color unwisely, will the fabric of the time-space continuum be rent in twain? Will our Earth leave its orbit and spiral into the Sun?
So far, no.
Anyway, here’s what it looks like.
Minnie Mouse – 10/13/24
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I am so proud. Number Two Son finished the Chicago Marathon about an hour ago. This is his fourth marathon. One of those was the Boston Marathon.
Woot! Beams with pride.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
How many thousands of times has this happened to you? You take a frozen package out of the freezer. You take the food out of the package. You then throw the packaging into the trash bin. Oops. You haven’t read the instructions, have you?
So, you fish the package out of the trash bin. And you leave it until you’ve followed all the instructions.
We need phrases for both these scenarios.
And now there are:
TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASES
Awesome entry #49
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Venus. It’s hot.
Woke up, got up, showed, and dressed. I graciously accept a medal for Achievement in Adulting.
Went to my office. Saw no bunnies outside my window. Got bored. Dabbled in finance. Accidently destablized the entire global economy. Restablized everything before anyone noitced. So no harm, no foul.
Then I went to physical therapy for problems with my lower back. I really got a work out. All sorts of muscles were stretched. I felt as fit as Achilles, before an arrow shot into his heel killed him. Culinary historians call this problem an Achilles’ Arrow.
Any way, I felt fit! After 30 minutes of intense exercise, I was prepared to conquer the Summer Olympics. I called the International Olympic Committee, IOC, to tell them I was ready. They said sorry, that the Olympics already took place earlier this year.
What a bummer. I swallowed my disappointment by eating a huge meatball sandwich for lunch; no need to keep in shape. I discontinue my excercise regime.
I got groceries. I bought a pair of slip-on shoes. May they’ll help me win gold medals in the next olympics
3:22 pm: I activate my time machine. I wait 60 seconds for it to function.
3:23 pm: It’s exacly one minute later. My time machine works.
I am so proud. I shall call it a time piece.
3:25 pm: I drive home, taking full use of the miracle of internal combustion.
5:57 pm: America gets invaded by Venusians. My home is the site of the initial invasion. They say that they’re conquering our planet because it’s so much cooler than theirs. I offer them some homade ice cream. They like it very much. So much so that they call off their attack with the proviso that I give them ice cream every year. I agree and even offer to throw in a big bag of homemade chocolate chips with each visit. They can’t believe their good luck. We part, having become the best of friends.
My frenetic day left me exhausted, so I relaxed by watching mind-improving comedies on TV.
I do hope you behaved yourselves while I was preoccupied.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Maurice Chevalier songs had big hits in America and in France. The debonaire Frenchman even made it big in Hollywood. He truly was a magnificent and popular singer of the 20th century. So it comes as a massive shock to many to discover his immense popularity in England during the Hundred Years Wars (1347 – 1453). Indeed no English army rampaged around the medieval French countryside without singing Monsieur Chevalier’s most beloved songs, collectively known as “Les Chansons de Chevalier.”
All this begs the question, how did M. Chavalier get so popular way back then? Social media.
Anyway, Chavalier’s beautiful song “Louise” starts with the lyrics:
“Wonderful Oh, it’s wonderful
To be in love with you.
Beautiful! You’re so beautiful,
You haunt me all day through.”
However, Archer Woman, mighty warrior that she was, felt this song spoke directly to her because she thought it went:
Misheard lyrics #22
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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