politics

How Bacon & Chocolate Will Win The Election

Posted on October 15, 2012 by pauldelancey

Remember Bacon & Chocolate’s slogan:

“If you’re going to waste your vote, why not waste it on Bacon & Chocolate?”

Now take the case of California. President Obama is set to win by California and its fifty plus electoral votes by a huge number of votes. There is no reasonable scenario having Romney win this state. So, all Romney supporters will feel free to waste their votes on Bacon & Chocolate because well, they like Bacon & Chocolate. All the Obama supporters, certain in their knowledge of an insurmountable lead over the Republican candidate will also feel at liberty to caste wasted ballots for me, Paul De Lancey, the candidate for Bacon & Chocolate.

This reasoning will result in darn near 97% of all voters wasting their ballots on Bacon & Chocolate. I will carry California in a landslide. I will win ever state that is not a swing state. People will vote me and Bacon & Chocolate into the White House in one of the greatest thumpings of all time.

This is the dawning of the Bacon & Chocolate Era.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Presidential Candidate Makes Bold Campaign Promise

Posted on October 12, 2012 by pauldelancey

“If I am elected, all computer printers will always work. They will never jam.”

 

– Mr. Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate party.

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party Offers FCC Post To Big Bird

Posted on October 8, 2012 by pauldelancey

Years of gainful employment may be no more for America’s big bird if Romney wins the election in November. We must not let this happen.  How you ask?

By voting Bacon & Chocolate Party in November. When B&C wins and I become the president, I shall appoint Big Bird to head the Federal Communications Commission. With Big Bird heading that department, no action against any Sesame Street character will be possible.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for Big Bird and a Tasty Tomorrow.
(Note: tomorrow will not be tasty because we will be roasting and eating Big Bird. That is a misread of the above slogan. Tomorrow will be tasty because of our pro bacon-and-chocolate policies. Geez!)

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Candidate De Lancey Is Thrashing Obama and Romney in On-line Debate.

Posted on October 6, 2012 by pauldelancey

.Candidates Obama, Romney, and De Lancey are at this very moment debating in Helsingor, Denmark Join the debate by logging in at Facebook and friending Paul De Lancey. So far, De Lancey’s verbal jabs are leaving Obama and Romney speechless.

Note: This debate was supposed to have been held on Halloween, but I typed in the wrong date. Sorry.

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

How To Vote In November

Posted on October 3, 2012 by pauldelancey

Vote to take back our culinary America.
Vote for bacon.
Vote for chocolate.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate
For A Tasty Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, Paul De Lancey, politics | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Be The First On Your Block To Be A Director Of A Federal Agency

Posted on October 1, 2012 by pauldelancey

You too can be in government with the Bacon & Chocolate Party. 
Come join our dedicated team.

President: Paul De Lancey

Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey

Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Bacon Protocol: Louise Corazza Busby
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
Office of Management and Budget: Mark Kennet
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom

Chief Political Adviser: Jonna Pattillo

Ambassadorships:

Greece: Lisa Jean Boehles Henderson
South America & Caribbean: Joel Poole
Vatican: John Rucker

Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate, A Powerful Force

Posted on August 20, 2012 by pauldelancey

What if the Bacon & Chocolate Party actually influenced this presidential election? Remember the fuss in Florida in 2000? There were several analyses of who should have won that state. One had Al Gore winning by three votes. It’s entirely possible Bacon & Chocolate could get three votes in a state in November

Bacon & Chocolate – For a Tasty and Influential Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Foolproof Plan To End Serious Crime

Posted on August 13, 2012 by pauldelancey

People committing felonies will not be allowed to have any bacon or chocolate while serving hard time.
I know this is severe, but what person would EVER commit a serious crime knowing the consequence of being without these two delicacies year after year? No one.

I rest my case. What this country needs is tough love.

Vote Bacon & Chocolate in November for a Safe and Tasty Tomorrow.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Party Forms Superpac

Posted on August 3, 2012 by pauldelancey

Dear Bacon & Chocolate supporters, the sad fact remains despite our best non-existent efforts,
our glorious party hasn’t been able to raise vast sums of money for our campaign. Indeed, we’ve raised the negligible sum of $0.00. So, we are forming our own superpac.

B&C hopes to raise just as many millions as our main competitors, Mr. Romney and President Obama. As one of our brilliant cabinet members said,  “Why not ask the pork producers?” Indeed, it is in their best interest to get us elected. Same goes for the chocolate makers.

I can hear you saying, “But won’t you beholden to the bacon & chocolate interests?”

We certainly will. But with cheap bacon & chocolate spreading o’er the land, who cares? With millions and millions behind us, Bacon & Chocolate cannot lose in November. Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a tasty tomorrow.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, food, politics | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Be The Boss Of Your Federal Department – Part 2

Posted on July 21, 2012 by pauldelancey

All you have to do is follow my blog, pauldelancey.com and like it. In return, when elected President of the United States on the Bacon & Chocolate Party  ticket, I will give you a job as the head honcho of whatever federal department is available. (See below for taken slots and list of federal agencies.) If you can’t decide, but still wish to serve your country at a handsome salary with great health care, I will randomly pick a department for you to run.
http://www.usa.gov/directory/federal/index.shtml

May 21, 2012 – Directory listing for federal agencies and departments:A.

What a deal! What a country!

Our lineup so far:

President: Paul De Lancey
Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey

Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom

Ambassadorships:
Vatican: John Rucker

Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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