international

Blueberry Cheesecake

Merry Christmas, everyone.

American Dessert

BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

INGREDIENTSBluebCh-

CRUST

4 tablespoons butter, usually a half stick
1 1/4 cups graham crackers, usually about 1 package
1/4 cup sugar (used 3 times in recipe for a total of more than 1 1/2 cups)

FILLING

4 8 ounce packages of cream cheese
5 eggs
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt

TOPPING

2 1/2 cups, about a 16 ounce bag, of fresh or frozen blueberries
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 1/2 cups sour cream
6 tablespoons white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup water

PREPARATION OF CRUST

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Melt butter in small saucepan, one designed specifically for butter if you have it. Turn the graham crackers into crumbs by using food processor. (If you have the urge to make the crumbs with a hammer, it’s probably time to take a deep breath, pour yourself a nice, cold glass of root beer, sit down, and listen to few songs by Alvin and the Chipmunks before continuing.)

Pour the melted butter, crumbs, and sugar (First use of sugar.) into a baking dish at least 9-inches wide. Mix thoroughly with fork. Press firmly and uniformly on the mixture. Bake at 325 degrees for about 10 minutes or lightly browned. Let cool, on a baking rack if you have one.

PREPARATION OF FILLING

Place cream cheese, eggs, sugar, (Second use of sugar.) cornstarch, and salt in large mixing bowl. Use electric beater to combine ingredients. Start on lowest setting and gradually increase the speed of the beaters to “cream,” or almost the highest setting. (Your kitchen walls might resemble modern art if you immediately start with the highest setting.)

Bake for 70 minutes at 325 degrees or until cheese center barely moves when baking dish is moved. Let dish cool down. Chill completely in refrigerator.

PREPARATION OF TOPPING

Combine blueberries and cornstarch in food processor and chop and grind away until mixture is pureed.

Pour mixture into mixing bowl. Add sour cream, sugar, (Third use of sugar.) vanilla extract, and water. Blend with fork or electric beater set to “blend.”

Pour this topping into saucepan. Bring to boil while stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium and cook for about 5 minutes while stirring.

Pour topping on top of cheesecake and spread evenly. (Yes, you will wash dishes with this dessert.) Refrigerate until chilled.

This recipe can be made in various ways: with or without sour cream, or with the sour cream separated out into another layer. Experiment and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) During the Roaring ‘20s, “cheesecake” meant a woman who showed her legs.

2) Marshall Bernadotte of Napoleon’s Grande Armée was known as “Belles Jambes,” or “Beautiful Legs.”

3) Rod Stewart sang the hit song, Hot Legs.

4) Chicken legs are deep fried in hot oil.

5) America is dependent on foreign oil.

6) But it wasn’t in the ‘20s when “cheesecake” meant a woman who showed her legs.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Lemongrass Chicken

Cambodian Entree

LEMONGRASS CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLemGrCh-

2 boneless chicken breasts
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon soy sauce (2 more tablespoons)

2 stalks fresh lemongrass (or 2 teaspoons dried or 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest or 1 teaspoon lemon juice.)
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 garlic cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons ginger
1/2 tablespoon onion salt
1 tablespoon lime juice
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice vinegar

1 cup rice
2 cups water

PREPARATION

Cut the chicken breasts into strips 1/2-inch wide and 2-inches long. Mince garlic cloves. Cut off the root end of the lemongrass stalk and strip off outside leaves. Mince inside core. (Or use dried lemongrass, or grated lemon zest, or lemon juice. Sometimes fresh lemongrass is as easy to get as Icelandic habañero peppers. Just do your best. I feel your spicing pain.)

Combine honey and soy sauce in mixing bowl. Thoroughly coat the chicken strips in this mixture.

Heat vegetable oil in wok or no-stick frying pan. Add chicken strips, garlic, lemongrass, onion salt, lime juice, soy sauce, and rice vinegar. Cook on medium high until chicken turns white. Stir frequently. Add more soy sauce if too sweet and more honey if not sweet enough.

You really should have a supply of fresh onions around the kitchen. At the time of writing this recipe my onions had gone bad, surly even, and my wife rightfully pointed out I was crazy to think she’d be going to the store when she had the kids’ baseball uniforms to clean. Hence, the onion salt. Life is like that.

Cook rice according to instructions shown on bag.

Serve on lovingly cooked rice. (Your guests will sense the love that went into the rice and the whole dish and gaze upon you with undisguised affection. And if they complain about the freshness of the lemongrass or its absence, send them to Iceland. If you can place them in the path of a lava flow, even better.)

TIDBITS

1) Yes, Iceland has volcanoes.

2) It also produces bananas.

3) Icelandic farmers have burned bananas on at least one occasion to drive up prices.

4) Cambodia produces bananas as well.

5) I first had this dish in Nantes, France, the hometown of the great novelist Jules Verne.

6) Iceland and Cambodia have never gone to war with each other.

7) Probably because they both grow bananas and understand each other on a deep level.

8) Germany and France have been pretty much free of banana plantations. But they fought each other three times from 1870 to 1945. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

9) Bananas were also a favored prop during the heyday of the silent-film era. The world was at peace then. When bananas disappeared from cinema the world went to war.

10) Besides ending war, the banana’s potassium helps boost bone mass.

11) So, write your Congressman and ask him to sponsor banana plantations all across America and indeed the world.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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La Daube Provencale

French Entree

LA DAUBE PROVENÇALE

LaDauPr-

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds stewing steak or better
2 yellow onions
8 whole cloves
1 carrot
4 garlic cloves
1 10 ounce can diced tomatoes
4 tablespoons olive oil
4 ounces bacon strips
1 bay leaf
6 peppercorns
1/2 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon thyme
1/4 cup red wine

PREPARATION

Cut the steak into 1/2-inch cubes. It is all right to use a better grade of steak than stewing. (As I write this recipe, my local supermarket is having such a sale on top sirloin it’s cheaper than the fattiest ground beef. Go figure. Now if they would only have a sale on gold.)

Peel the 2 onions and cut each of them into 4 wedges. Stick a whole clove into each of the 8 onion wedges. Scrape off the surface of the carrot. Cut the carrot into round pieces no more than 1/2-inch thick. Peel and mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil and bacon strips in skillet. Heat at medium-heat until bacon begins to brown. (Some versions of this recipe call for strips or slices heavily marbled with fat. This is no problem at all. Simply pick the package of bacon that is on top of the others. Some good Samaritan has gone before you, heroically going through all the bacon packages looking for the meatiest and leaving you exactly what you wanted.)

Back at the range it is time to add to the skillet: steak cubes, onion wedges with cloves in them, carrot pieces, garlic,
diced tomatoes, bay leaf, peppercorns, orange zest, sea salt, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. (“Are you going to Scarborough Fair?” Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Cook on medium heat until steak cubes start to brown. Add red wine. Bring to boil. Lower temperature to between off and warm. Cover with lid and let stew simmer for 2 1/2 hours.

This is great. Give it only to loved ones or a boss at promotion time.

TIDBITS

1) Insects don’t like the scent of onions. So, cut open an onion and rub the two halves all over your body before crossing a mosquito-infested swamp.

2) The French tried to build the Panama Canal before the Americans did. They failed because too many of their workers succumbed to malaria.

3) The Americans succeeded because they discovered malaria was borne by mosquitoes. We destroyed the pesky critters by destroying their swamps.

4) Mightn’t it have been simpler to have the canal workers rub their bodies with onion halves before going to work each day?

5) Of course, the thousands of sweaty, oniony workers would have had problems convincing beautiful ladies to dance with them after work.

6) But just how many spiffed-up young ladies could the workers have found in the middle of a mosquito-riddled swamp?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Arriba Burgers

Mexican Entree

ARRIBA BURGERS

INGREDIENTSArribBu-

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
1/2 jalapeno pepper
4 ounces diced green chiles
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon cumin
3 ounces Cotija cheese
3 ounces grated Four Mexican cheeses
6 to 8 hamburger buns
lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince the onion, cloves, and jalapeno pepper. Make 6 to 8 thin strips of Cotija cheese.

Mix ground beef, onion, cloves, pepper, green chiles, coriander, and cumin by hand. Sorry, but this really is the best way to blend these ingredients. (And your dog will really appreciate you petting him immediately after this step. By the way, have you ever met a dog called Fido or Spot in real life?)

Make 6 to 8 patties. Cook in frying pan until meat browns. Put a strip of Cotija cheese and sprinkle grated Mexican cheese on each patty. Fry patties until cheese begins to melt. Don’t cook longer as cheese will seep onto pan and the grease in the cheese will begin to separate out.

Toast hamburger buns in toaster or in frying pan after patties are removed. You will need to be vigilant with the buns if you choose this latter method as the buns can burn quickly.

Serve with lettuce. Arriba!

1) “Arriba!” was the favorite word of Speedy Gonzalez, the cartoon mouse.

2) Speedy Gonzalez always defeated El Pussy Cato, who had a remarkably flat learning curve.

3) Mexicans drive fast. My wife learned to drive in Guadalajara. The drivers here don’t scare her a bit.

4) I learned to drive in the huge parking lot of the Santa Anita Racetrack.

5) We are always told to buckle up, but when I was growing up there were no seat belts in the back seat.

6) I have never driven in Mexico. Mexicans are grateful.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Spicy Chicken Strips

American Entree

SPICY CHICKEN STRIPS

INGREDIENTSSpicyCS-

4 chicken breasts

3 garlic cloves
2 eggs
1 1/2 tablespoons prepared mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

3 cups bread crumbs or cracker crumbs
2 tablespoons dried basil
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
no-stick cooking spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat baking sheets with no-stick spray.

Cut chicken breasts into pieces 3-inches long and 1-inch wide. (Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being an entree.)

(Did you know you can buy a butcher’s block with a precisely measured line so that your chicken piece will not only be exactly 3-inches by 1-inch, they will also have precise 90 degrees angles? People who like knives and this product scare me.)

Mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, eggs, prepared mustard, and Dijon mustard into mixing bowl. Stir well.

Make bread crumbs if you don’t have them. (Dry, hard bread is a great source of bread crumbs. If you don’t have dry, hard bread, toasted bread will do. Crackers also make excellent crumbs.)

Combine crumbs, basil, paprika, coriander, poultry spice, chili powder, black pepper, and salt in another mixing bowl. Stir well.

Dip chicken strip in egg mixture. Roll dipped chicken strip in crumbs until it’s completely covered. Put covered strip on baking sheet. Repeat until all strips are coated.

Bake chicken strips in oven at 400 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown and chicken meat is completely white. (As always, cooking times vary widely depending on the oven and the closeness of the food to the heating coils.)

TIDBITS

1) Dijon is home to the Dijon Ducs, who play hockey in the Magnus League.

2) Magnus Svenson lives in Sweden as do many other Magnussons. Probably, at least a few of them play hockey.

3) Swedish hockey is generally considered superior to that played in France.

4) However, many more people prefer France’s wine to Sweden’s.

5) Something to consider when planing a vacation to Europe.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Yetakelt W’et (Spicy Vegetable Stew) From Forthcoming Cookbook

Ethiopian Entree

YETAKELT W’ET
(Spicy vegetable stew)

INGREDIENTS

1 small, or 1/2 big, white onion
1 large ripe red tomato
2 garlic cloves
3 big carrots
1 russet potato
8 ounce bag snow peas
1 tablespoon Berbere spice mix (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/4 cup Niter Kibbeh (See recipe in this book for this.)
1 tablespoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 ounce can tomato paste
2 cups vegetable broth

Goes well with injera, Ethiopian flat bread.

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. Dice carrots, potato, and tomato. Cut snow peas into bits 1/2-inch wide. Sauté onion, garlic, Berbere spice, paprika, pepper, and salt in Niter Kibbeh for 2 minutes on medium heat.

Add carrots, potato, and snow peas. Sauté for 10 minutes more. Stir occasionally. Add tomato, tomato paste, and vegetable broth. Bring to boil on medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to warm and simmer for 15 minutes.

Goes well with Injera (Ethiopian flat bread.) and yogurt. (See something other than fruit goes well with yogurt.)

TIDBITS

1) Yogurt used to be spelled yoghurt.

2) This “h” in the word meant that business and governments had to hire typists, use up more ink, and consume more paper every time they discussed yogurt.

3) Gradually, efficiency experts pressed for well, efficiency, and within decades the “h” was gone from yogurt.

4) Simultaneously, the budgets of nations and corporations around the world dropped by, quite possibly, several millionths of a percent.

5) Our world gets better every day.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Teriyaki Chicken With Rice

Japanese Entree

TERIYAKI CHICKEN WITH RICE

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons water (3 cups more later)
1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
3 chicken breasts

1 1/2 cups brown rice
3 cups water
2 yellow bell peppers
2 stalks green onion

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mince garlic cloves. Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Dice yellow peppers and green onion.

Add garlic, water, cornstarch, sugar, soy sauce, cider vinegar, ginger, and poultry spice. Stir frequently while cooking on medium-high heat until sauce thickens and bubbles. Do not boil.

Pour sauce into baking dish, size 8-inches by 8-inches or greater. Put chicken into pan. Turn the chicken pieces around in the sauce until all sides are coated. Bake the chicken for about an hour or until done.

While chicken is baking, cook rice as directed on the bag of rice, use rice, or cook until rice is tender. Add minced bell peppers and green onion to top of rice.

Put rice mixture in bowl. Add teriyaki chicken and sauce.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t spill cornstarch. That white stuff gets everywhere.

2) “Teri” is Japanese for “luster” coming from the sauce and “yaki” means “grill.”

3) The “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke came from vaudeville about a hundred years ago.

4) The most prestigious act out of ten vaudeville acts was the ninth.

5) I looked up “Fun facts about soy sauce” on GoogleTM and was given “Fun facts about strippers” as the second entry. I don’t believe I want to know the connection between soy sauce and strippers.

6) Often Chinese greet each other with “Have you had your rice today?” instead of “How are you?” Much nicer than “How’s it hanging?” don’t you think?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Cordon Bleu

French Entree

CHICKEN CORDON BLEU

INGREDIENTS

6 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
6 slices cooked ham
4 slices Swiss cheese
1/4 cup butter
1/2 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM poultry spice
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon thyme
1/2 cup sour cream
1 10.5 ounce can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 teaspoon lime juice

UTENSILS

meat mallet
toothpicks
kitchen scissors

PREPARATION OF CHICKEN ROLLS

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. (191 degrees Celsius, 464 Kelvin.) Use this time to attack the chicken breasts. Cut the chicken breasts in half lengthwise.

(This is an easy task if you have kitchen scissors. They sound just like scissors do when you cut hair. Indeed, given the nature of your cutting, you might find yourself thinking of yourself as Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber. I’d recommend, however, keeping such thoughts to yourself, particularly when dining with your boss or a financee.)

Now you must flatten those chicken halves. Put each half under a plastic sheet and pound. Flatten the chicken breast halves until they are 1/8-inch thick. Use gusto. This job is immeasurably easier with a meat mallet. I heartily recommend buying just for this dish.

(If however, you wish to be contrary, there are few alternatives: the hammer, the brick, and a big can of beans. BUT it will take longer and cause any in the room to doubt your sanity for all time.)

Meanwhile back at the kitchen, cut the Swiss cheese slices in two, lengthwise. Put them on the chicken breasts. Put a ham slice, which should be no larger than the breast half, on top of that. Roll up each chicken breast from the bottom and fasten with toothpicks.

(Fret not if you don’t have toothpicks. Simply, while no one else is looking, snip off the flammable tips of the longest matchsticks you can find. Dispose carefully of the flammable and keep quiet about the whole affair. Remember, your guests have already seen you with a mallet, a hammer, and kitchen scissors. Oh and it should go without saying, never serve this to a vegetarian.)

Put rolled up chicken in a baking dish. Melt butter in pan on medium high heat. Pour butter over rolled up chicken. Sprinkle poultry spice, nutmeg, pepper, and thyme over chicken.

Put in oven for about 40 minutes or chicken is golden brown and juices on pan are clear.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Combine in saucepan condensed chicken soup, sour cream, and lime juice. (If a French tut tuts over you using condensed soup, look him in the eye and say, “But of course, it is gourmet condensed chicken soup. Sacré bleu.”) Cook on low heat, stirring occasionally. Serve over hot chicken rolls.

This dish is so wonderful. Be sure to give lots of credit and thanks to anyone who helps clean up.

TIDBITS

1) Between 1796 and 1815, British seamen drank 1.6 million gallons of lime juice to combat scurvy.

2) They were fighting my great, great, great grandfather Napoleon.

3) While I deplore Napoleon’s twenty years of nearly continuous warfare, I do applaud how he revolutionized humanity’s view of the healing properties of citrus.

4) The Spanish conquerors brought death by the hundreds of thousands through war and disease to the New World.

5) However, they also brought the lime with them as well. And the lime is indeed high in vitamin C. Vitamin C promotes health.

6) So the next time you’re tempted to put down some bloodthirsty conqueror, pause a bit and inquire if he didn’t perchance also bring something healthful to the conquered regions.

7) I mean we all have our bad points and good points, don’t we?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hawaiian Pineapple Roll

Hawaiian Dessert

HAWAIIAN PINEAPPLE ROLL

INGREDIENTS

3 cups pineapple pieces
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons peanut butter
1 teaspoon butter
4 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar (1/3 cup more later)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

4 egg whites
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 flour (sifted is preferred)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

confectionary sugar
whipped cream

PREPARATION

MAKE SURE all the juice is drained away from the pineapple. All! If you put juice in this recipe, your Hawaiian log will be a Hawaiian crumble.

Cover baking pan with pineapple pieces. Sprinkle brown sugar over pineapple. Spread peanut butter as evenly as you can over sugar and pineapple. Crumble the butter into bits and scatter them over the top.

Separate egg yolks from egg whites. You can do this by partially cracking the egg shell and letting the white drain out or let the entire inside come out and gently fish out the yolk with a spoon. Don’t even think about removing the yolk with a fork.

Beat the egg yolks with whisk until they thicken. Mix in vanilla and 1/4 cup sugar

Beat egg whites until surface gets lumpy. Mix in 1/3 cup sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt until thoroughly blended

Add the egg-yolk mixture to the egg-white blend and stir, stir, stir. Your wrist should be getting quite a workout at this point. Spread this combination over the pineapple and brown sugar in the baking pan.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 20 minutes. Loosen edges and turn over baking pan over large plate liberally sprinkled with confectionary sugar. Let stand for at least 5 minutes before rolling. After that, let it stand for an additional 10 minutes or until cool. Place pineapple roll on plate

Alternatively, if you are fortunate enough to possess a towel do the following instead of the instructions in the above paragraph. Sprinkle tea towel with confectionary sugar. Turn the baking pan upside down of the towel and let the cooked pineapple mixture fall onto the towel. Roll up the pineapple mixture as you roll up the towel. Let sit for 10 minutes or until cool. Unroll towel. Place resulting pineapple roll on plate.

Cover with whipped cream. This step is critical. It makes your dish taste better. The layer of whipped cream over the roll hides any mistakes in the Hawaiian roll. Did your carefully crafted roll fall apart when transferring it to the serving dish? Don’t worry, with enough whipped cream no one will ever know.

TIDBITS

1) Vanilla has alcohol in it. People craving alcohol bought lots of vanilla for “cooking.”

2) Captain Cook discovered Hawaii in 1778. He named them the “Sandwich” Islands. I love that name.

3) The Hawaiians killed Cook on his third Pacific voyage in 1779. It remains doubtful that he ever even tasted a Hawaiian pineapple roll before his death.

4) The British flag is part of the Hawaiian flag.

5) The Japanese precipitated America’s entry into World War II with their surprise attack on the American Pacific Fleet at Honolulu. Their attack was provoked, in part, by America’s embargo of oil and metals to Japan. It is believed that Hawaiian Pineapple Rolls were not part of the embargo.

6) On the other hand, you need a sifter to sift flour. Sifting flour has been out of fashion for decades. If you don’t have a sifter, use your food processor and “chop” or “mince” it.

7) A food processor does wonderful work crushing and crumbling solidified brown-sugar blocks. Just be prepared for a brown-sugar cloud near the processor. If our weather reports could only be, “sunny with patches of brown-sugar clouds.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Beef Enchiladas

Mexican Entree

BEEF ENCHILADAS

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1 fresh green chile
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro (4 tablespoons more later)
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil (1/2 tablespoon more later)
1 16 ounce can enchilada sauce-red
1 14.5 ounce can Mexican-style diced tomatoes.
4 tablespoons parsley
1/2 tablespoon basil

FILLINGS INGREDIENTS

1 jalapeno pepper
1 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 pound ground beef
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
5 ounces Cotija cheese
1 1/4 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese

OTHER INGREDIENTS

12 corn tortillas (You might want more in case some fall apart)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
no-stick cooking spray

You might need two baking dishes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use no-stick cooking spray on baking dish.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Remove seeds from green chile. Dice green chile and 2 teaspoons cilantro. Add green chile and vegetable oil to saucepan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until green chile is soft. Add red enchilada sauce, diced tomatoes, cilantro, parsley, and basil. Simmer on warm heat and stir for 5 minutes. Set aside.

PREPARATION OF FILLING

Remove seeds from jalapeno. Dice jalapeno pepper, onion garlic cloves, and 4 tablespoons cilantro. Combine jalapeno, onion, garlic, and cilantro by hand with ground beef, and cumin. Cook and stir pepper/onion/beef mixture on medium-to-high heat until beef turns color. Add Cotija and Monterey Jack cheese. Cook until cheeses melt.

PREPARATION OF TORTILLAS

Heat the tortillas for about 20 seconds in a microwave to make them easier to roll. Pour enough oil to cover just the bottom of the saucepan. Put the pan on the BACK BURNER. USING TONGS, dip one tortilla at a time quickly in the hot oil. If the tortilla spends too much time in the oil or if you take too long to put it on a plate, the oil-dripping tortilla will fall apart; have extras until you get the hang of it.

(Try to keep up with the cleaning as you prepare the food lest your guests call the bomb squad upon arrival. Being a suspected terrorist is a true resume stain.)

FINAL PREPARATION

Add about 1/12 of the fillings’ ingredients. Roll each tortilla and put it against the side of the baking dish or as close to another rolled tortilla as possible.

Pour the sauce evenly over the tortillas. Sprinkle any remaining ingredients on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until any cheese on top bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) I have been assuming that people’s stoves measure temperature in Fahrenheit. If your stove’s temperature dial is in Kelvin, then please use the following conversion. K = (5/9)*F + 256, where K is temperature in Kelvin and F is in Fahrenheit.

2) Some people assume that enchiladas only have cheese in them. So it’s a good idea to tell people this dish has meat in it, particularly if you think they might be vegetarian.

3) Mexican cuisine is quite friendly to vegetarians.

4) A distant relative of mine, Emperor Napoleon III of France, tried to conquer Mexico in the 1860s. I had nothing to do with this venture. I wasn’t even born.

5) The price of tortillas is regulated in Mexico. The price of bread is regulated in France. The French authorities still greatly fear riots and revolutions arising from rapid increases in the price of bread. Presumably, the Mexican government feels the same way and if it ever asks me to the Presidential Palace for dinner, I will ask about this.

6) If the Mexican president ever asks me over for dinner, I shall return the favor and ask him over to my home in Poway for some really good eats.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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