Today was such a busy day. Time to relax and go to sleep. These puppies and I wish you pleasant dreams and a restful sleep.
Goodness sakes, we’re sleepy.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The traditional sports on TV get us all worked up. We need to watch a sport that’s soothing. I hear you. That’s why I’m bringing you Turtle Bubble Balancing. The sport has an elegant, yet entrancing simplicity. Watch it and become quietly happy.
Turtle Bubble Balancing on ESPN8
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1½ inches cinnamon stick
3 cardamom pods
1 teaspoon cloves
4½ tablespoons coriander seeds
4½ tablespoons cumin seeds
1½ tablespoons peppercorns
3½ teaspoons turmeric
Makes ¾ cup. Takes 25 minutes
PREPARATION
Put cinnamon stick in plastic bag. Hit cinnamon with something hard. Put cinnamon pieces, cardamom pods, cloves, coriander seeds, cumin seeds in pan. Toast at medium heat for 3 minutes or until these ingredients become aromatic. Do not burn. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.
Add toasted ingredients to spice grinder. Grind until you get a completely fine powder.. Add powder and turmeric to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Store in airtight jar. Should keep for 4 months.
TIDBITS
1) In the 11th century an architect named Diotisalvi made plans for a tower in Pisa. Workers built his tower lying flat on the ground. It simply remained to put the tower upright. But Diotisalvi went home for lunch, suffered an attack of amnesia, and never came back. So the workers tried raising the tower with a catapult, a trebuchet, with their arms, and blowing underneath it. Nothing worked. Then they hooked up 1,000 horses with ropes and lifted the tower up. Hooray! But oh no, the workers let the horses go too far forward. The tower listed at a four-degree angle!
3) “It’s mighty hard to see if a tower hundreds of feet tall is at a 90-degree angle,” said the foreman. A surprisingly erudite peasant said, “He needed to compare the angle of the real tower with that of a miniature, 90-degree wax tower. It’s easy to see if a small wax tower is at 90-degrees.” After that, architects would check to see if he “has a wax tower.” This shortened to “has a wax.”
3) Pisan anagramists celebrated this discovery by naming the new Arabian spice, Xawaash. Now you know.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
work pajamaqs
work pajamas
work pa·ja·mas| ˈwərk pə-ˈjä-məz , -ˈja- \
noun
Definition of work pajamas (Entry 2 of 2)
1: a loose two-piece lightweight suit designed for sleeping, yet suitable for wear while working. May include a design.
2: a loose two-piece lightweight suit designed for working, yet suitable for wear while sleeping. May include a design.
– also called also wpjs
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Early wishing of Merry Christmas to you. I just found this picture my mother made. It was part of a postcard that she sent to family and friends. I’m on the left. My brother is on the right. I was 2.5 years old and he was 4.5. I contributed the pencil-line art work.
According to the writing on the back, “Paul is in nursery school Tues. morning and is just delighted with it. His first love is trains, however.”
There you go. And may you go into a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday season, and pleasant and fulfilling new year.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS – DOUGH
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2 cups flour (3 more tablespoons later)
½ tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon sugar
½ tablespoon olive oil
½ cup warm water
3 tablespoons flour
INGREDIENTS – TOPPINGS
½ pound bacon
¼ pound Gruyère cheese
1 medium onion
¼ cup crême fraiche
¾ pound fromage blanc or cream cheese
⅛ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
SPECIAL UTENSILS
pizza stone or baking sheet
parchment paper
mandoline (optional)
sonic obliterator (Go get one)
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
PREPARATION – DOUGH
Add pizza stone to center rack in oven. Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Add 2 cups flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add oil and water. Knead by hand until well blended and dough forms.
Dust large flat surface with 3 tablespoons flour. Divide dough in half. Roll out dough half until you get a round pizza crust 10″ across. Put parchment paper on baking sheet. Put pizza crust on parchment paper. Repeat for the 2nd dough half.
PREPARATION – TOPPINGS
Dice bacon. Grate Gruyère cheese. Cut onion into slices ⅛” thick. Add crême fraiche, fromage blanc, nutmeg, pepper, and salt to 2nd mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Spread crême fraiche/fromage blanc mix evenly over pizza crusts. Leave a ½” border around the edges. Sprinkle bacon evenly over cheese mix. Sprinkle onion over bacon and crême fraiche. Sprinkle Gruyère cheese over everything.
Carefully, carefully (use oven mitts) slide pizza crusts and the parchment paper underneath them onto preheated pizza stone or baking sheets. Bake at 500 degrees until puffed, golden brown, and crispy. Serve immediately.
Zap unappreciative guests with sonic obliterator. You don’t need negativity in your kitchen.
TIDBITS
1) This recipe uses a pizza stone.
2) The earliest human, Lucy of Olduvai Gorge, did not have a pizza stone. So, she did not make this recipe. If only she had had even a baking sheet. But she did not. No Tarte Flambee for Lucy.
3) Her friend Charlie Olduvai had a football his mom had made from the pelts of little animals. Lucy always promised to hold the pelt football while he ran up to kick it. But Lucy always pulled the pelt ball away at the last moment and Charlie would fall onto his back.
4) Charlie Olduvai grew tired of his mistreatment. So did his parents who never liked Lucy’s parents anyway. “They’ve ruined football for us until the twentieth century. Bah, the slackers will never make anything out of themselves.”
5) So the disgruntled Olduvais left. Many gorge dwellers followed the well-liked family. These first humans thought they’d only walk for a day or so before settling down beside a new stream near a nice plain filled with lots of juicy animals to eat.
6) Then George Gorge piped up and said he wanted a pizza. Now, the little group did carry all the ingredients for pizza for humanity has always hungered for pizza. So they looked for holes in cliffs that would double as a pizza oven. They found dozens of such ovens.
7) But no pizza stones or baking sheets So they marched on. The little walk turned into months, years, and even millennia. Thus, began humanity’s great migration out of Africa.
8) Then the early humans invented the wheel. Brilliant minds soon–thousands of years–made pizza stones. People could finally make pizza! Eat pizza! Huzzah!
9) The Stone Wheel clans appointed wisdom keepers to tell succeeding generations the way to make pizza stones. So for century upon century peoples could feast on mastodon pizza.
10) Then humans, too hungry for mastodon pizza toppings, killed off all the mastodons No other pizza toppings would do. Pizza fell out of favor. There was no long a need for pizza stones, no need to pass on the knowledge to make them. Humanity’s ascent stagnated for millennia.
11) Don’t let this happen again. Buy a baking sheet! Buy a pizza stone! Do it now!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Yesterday was a tough day. Today was a busy day. So much adulting for me. I needed to see a little girl blowing bubbles. This picture makes me happy. I hope it does the same for you.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
FB version*
Get excited at the Kangasniemi’s Kutemajarvi Sex Festival. It’s held in July when 5,000 Kangsniemians go sex mad. See live acts from the biggest adult film stars. Cheer on the nude mud wrestlers. Wonder at the sex-toys exhibits. Be entranced at lectures on sex from prominent sex-and-sexuality theorists. Yes sex, just like all subjects, has both empirical and theoretical aspects. But at Kangasniemi you can investigate both of them. If that doesn’t get a rise out of you, what will?
But why content yourself with being a bystander? Don’t have a thing to wear? Then enter the Aphrodite nude beauty competition.
Go there. There’s a lot to see.
* FB threatened me with all sorts of things if kept the original title and picture
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS – MEAT FILLING
1 pound ground beef or lamb
1 medium onion
⅛ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes or cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (3½ cups more later)
INGREDIENTS- SPINACH FILLING
1 pound fresh spinach
¼ cup vegetable oil (¼ cup more later)
2 tablespoons flour (3½ cups more later)
¼ cup water
INGREDIENTS – DOUGH
3¼ cups flour
1 cup warm water
INGREDIENTS – FINAL
no-stick spray
3½ cups (1½”) vegetable oil
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 40 minutes.
PREPARATION – MEAT FILLING
Mince onion. Add all meat-filling ingredients to large mixing bowl. Blend with hands.
PREPARATION – SPINACH FILLING
Add enough water to cover spinach to large pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add spinach. Boil for 4 minutes. Drain. Add ice water and spinach to 2nd bowl. The ice water stops the spinach from continuing to cook and prevents its leaves from wilting. Drain.
Add ¼ cup vegetable oil to pan. Heat using medium-high heat until a little bit of flour dances in the oil. Add 2 tablespoons flour. Reduce heat to meat and cook for 1 minute or until flour starts to brown. Add ¼ cup water. Still with whisk or fork until well blended. Add back spinach. Stir until well blended. Remove from heat.
PREPARATION – DOUGH
Add 3¼ cups flour, 1 cup warm water, and ¼ cup oil to 3rd, large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until you get a smooth dough ball that is not sticky. Add a bit more flour if necessary. Cover and set aside.
PREPARATION – FINAL
Spray flat surface with no-stick spray. Divide dough into 16 smaller dough balls. Roll out small dough balls until they become rounds ⅛” thick. (The rounds should be about 6″ across.) Divide meat filling equally over on the right half of the rounds. Distribute the spinach filling equally over the sides with meat. Leave a small uncovered edge on all the round.
Brush the edges with little bit of water. This will help the pastries to seal better. Fold uncovered half of the dough rounds over the covered side to make your gutap pastries. Seal the edges together by pressing down with the tines of a fork. Prick top of gutap with fork. This allows hot air to escape while cooking. (It also helps for even browning of both sides.)
Add 3½ cups oil to large pot. Heat oil at medium heat until a little bit of dough in the oil starts to dance. Carefully add 2 or 3 gutaps to pot. (Do not let them touch It also helps the flip side brown evenly.) Fry 3 minutes on each side or until gutaps turn golden brown all over. Add more oil as needed. Remove with slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Serve hot.
TIDBITS
1) The Sun and the Moon are round. The Ancient Romans worshiped them as gods. Pizzas are round. Pizzas are made round to honor the Sun god, Sol, and the Moon goddess, Luna. Why did the Romans honor these gods with pizzas? Because Sol and Luna loved pizzas. Who doesn’t?
2) Sol wanted the heavens to himself during the day. This is how we get the modern word, solo.
3) Luna would go insane when the Earth hid her beloved Sun. Her face sported a tic during these events. Her followers would worship her during lunar eclipse by scrunching their faces to resemble tics. This is how we get the word, lunatic.
4) The supreme Roman god, Jove, certainly played the field. He took the form of a dove and made passionate love to a Gallic lass called Carla La Fong. You’d think Carl would taken a man for a lover rather than a dove, but there’s no accounting for taste.
5) Carla named the fruit of this union, Gutap. Gutap was a handsome and muscular lad. Indeed, he killed the requisite number of wild beast expected of a demigod, but his passion was making meat pastries. He didn’t even half to follow the recipe above. He just pressed dirt between his hands and presto, he’d made a semicircular pastry. Jove’s fellow Olympian loved these pastries, calling them gutaps after Juno’ son. Indeed, they found them so tasty, that they esteemed Gutap above, Juno, head goddess and wife of Juno.
6) This adulation pierced Juno’s vanity so much that she cast Gutap down to Earth. Gutap fled Juno’s wrath until he reached Turkmenistan, a land so far away that even the gods could not see it. The demigod fed his meat pastries to his new neighbors. They loved the pastries so much that they found a way to make their own gutaps. Now you know.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Facebook(tm) uses all sorts of algorithms to determine whose posts we get to see and what types are allowed. These algorithms often vary with what its legions of users wish to view. If only we could have an algorithm that would make everyone happy.
I’m glad you spoke up. I am proud to present to you the world famous Al Gore Rhythm Bard. Here it is, performing on stage in Nashville, Tennessee.
Al Gore (left), Carl La Fong (right)
The Al Gore Rhythm Band
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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