Posts Tagged With: Lutheran

Angry Man Rants About Errors

The struggle is real and eternal.

Angry Man #20

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags:  | Leave a comment
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Loving Poem About Hot Peas

HOT PEAS

Peas porridge cold.
Peas porridge hot.
Peas porridge scalding.
Peas porridge fiery

Are my now volcanic peas
Hot from global warming?
No! The Earth is spiralling toward the Sun.
Aah! Aah! Aah!

Poetry is hard.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Now They Tell Me

It’s five minutes to midnight. Now they tell me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Loving Poem About Peas

PEAS

Peas porridge hot
Peas porridge hot.
Aw, to heck with it.
There’s no plot.
No character development.
I’m taking my poem
And going home.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: love | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Marked Safe From the Peoply World

The struggle is real. The outside world teems with feral people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Marked Safe From, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loving Poem About Sausages

SAUSAGES

“Bite me! Bite me!”
Said the habañero sausage.
“No, I won’t. You’lle see,”
Said the fair, young maiden.

“You will! You will!”
Said the habañero sausage.
“Okay, I’ll eat me fill.”
Said the fair, young maiden.

And she did. She did a lot.
And her breath became fiery hot.
Munching her way through the woods.
To granny’s house with her goods.

“Give me, give me, your basket good,”
Said the big, bad wolf mean all through
But deadly Little Red Riding Hood
Killed him with one flaming breath, not two.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Now On ESPN8 – Turtle Pole Vaulting

Come watch Turtle Pole Vaulting on ESPN8. It’s just the thing for the jaded couch potato.

Notice that contrary to human pole vaulters, turtles grab the vaulting pole with their beak or is it their mouth? They’re not saying.

Thrill as your favorite turtle vaulter speeds like the wind down the runway, then up into the sky and over the cross pole.

Huzzah! Huzzah!

“The jump was made before I even finished my emails.” – Wanda Wunder

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loving Poem About a Printer

Printer

Oh printer! Oh printer!

Pure Evil

You putrid pile of pig pool.
You use up ink. You jam.
You send us into fits.

All I want from a printer is for it to:
Work.
Work.
Work.

Yet it jams until eternity.
The only time it prints is
To spew out that test page
That uses up my ink cartridge.

I grow poor buying ink
While the printer’s makers
Earn enough to appear
On American Greed(tm).

May producers of computer printers
Be sentenced to sixty years of hard labor
Or be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
I’m reasonable; either will do.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: poems, printers | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

If You’re Happy and You Know It

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slow French Dip Sandwiches

American Entree

SLOW FRENCH DIP SANDWICHES

INGREDIENTS

2 ½ pounds beef loin top sirloin
1½ pounds beef sirloin tip
1 10.5 ounce can condensed French onion soup
1 cup beef stock or broth
½ cup water
8 peppercorns
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon thyme
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon beef base or 1 beef bouillon cube
½ teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
¼ teaspoon black pepper
10 slices provolone cheese or about 10 ounces
5 French rolls

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

3 quart, or larger, slow cooker.

PREPARATION

Cut the top sirloin and the sirloin tip enough so that it will fit inside your slow cooker and be covered with the liquid you will add later. Dice garlic cloves.

In fact, here comes the liquid now. Pour French onion soup, beef stock, and water into slow cooker. And now for addition. Add peppercorns, bay leaf, rosemary, thyme, garlic, beef base, sea salt, meat spice, and pepper. And wait.

And wait. Oh and the turn the cooker on low for 6-to-8 hours. (Egads, you’ll have time to collect all receipts that you’ve stashed all around the house in preparation for tax time. Then you forgot where you put them. Now you have time to find them. Go! Go! Look for those receipts. I’m with you on this one.)

It really pays to get an early start on this one, especially if you are using your cooker for the first time. Many but not all slow cookers will get the job done on low in 6-to-8 hours. (My crock pot however needs to be set on high to cook anything in less time than it takes a city to repair a major street.)

Use spoon with holes in it to remove beef from cooker to serving bowl. Open French rolls. Put a slice of provolone cheese on each half. Use spoon with holes in it to put a generous portion of beef on the roll. Spoon juice remaining in cooker onto open sandwich. Close sandwich. Spoon more juice onto closed French roll. Eat. Dream of Heaven.

TIDBITS

1) The sandwich was invented in 1762 when the Earl of Sandwich was too busy to leave the gambling table to eat. Instead, he had a waiter bring him roast beef between two pieces of bread.

2) See, gambling has been good for society.

3) Indeed, many people believe professional sports came into being because gamblers hired players to be on the team they were backing with their bets.

4) The Earl asked for slices of bread to keep the grease from the roast beef from marking the playing cards.

5) While the Earl earns a spot in any culinary hall of fame, he was indeed a flawed man: opinionated, drunken, corrupt, incompetent, a sex fiend, a Satan worshiper, and all that.

6) There is no word, however, if he over spiced.

7) But he did weaken the Royal Navy to such an extent that the French Fleet beat it in 1781, ensuring America’s victory in the American Revolution.

8) A lot to think about when you bite into your next sandwich.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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