Posts Tagged With: Hawaii

Hawaiian Pizza

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN PIZZA

INGREDIENTSHawaiPi-

no-stick spray
1 pizza crust
1 cup pineapple chunks
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1 cup pasta sauce
6 ounces deli-sliced ham
2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese

SPECIALTY ITEM

pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray pizza pan to keep the pizza from sticking. (It’s not a good feeling to have your great looking, great smelling pizza fall apart because it sticks to pan when you try to serve it.) Put crust on pan. Mix pineapple juice, brown sugar, and pasta sauce until sugar dissolves. Spread mix evenly over crust.

Cut deli-sliced ham into 1″ squares. Place ham squares and pineapple chunks on crust. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Put pizza in oven and bake at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese or crust in golden brown. Now you have a Hawaiian pizza. Life is good.

TIDBITS

1) In 334 BC Alexander the Great, invaded the Persian Empire, changing culinary history forever.

2) In 327 BC, while conquering much of the known world, he discovered sugar cane.

3) Alexander the Great came so close to dying in battle in 334BC.

4) If he had died then, he wouldn’t have conquered the Persian Empire. If he hadn’t have conquered the Persians, he wouldn’t have been able to bring back sugar to the Mediterranean.

5) In 1493, Columbus introduced sugar to the New World.

6) Sugar was so prized by European nobility up until 1800 that many bloody wars were fought over islands with thriving sugar plantations. These plantations required vast numbers of slaves to work them.

7) So if Alexander had died at a young age in battle as Alexander the Mediocre, a lot of conflict and misery might have been avoid.

8) On the other hand, we’d have no doughnuts, no cakes, and no brownies. And no pizza too; the yeast in the pizza requires sugar to rise.

9) So, Alex’s wars of conquest resulted in some good as well. Life’s life that.

10) 2001, sugar is found in outer space. Yay!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Simple Hawaiian Pancakes Recipe

Hawaiian Entree

SIMPLE HAWAIIAN PANCAKES

INGREDIENTSHawaWaf-

8 frozen waffles
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1/2 cups pineapple juice
4 ounce can pineapple chunks

PREPARATION

Toast waffles according to instructions on package. Cut butter into 16 pats. Combine in mixing bowl: sugar, milk, and pineapple juice. Place equal amounts of butter and mixed juice and 2-to-4 pineapple chunks of each toasted waffle. Aloha!

TIDBITS

1) In 1869, women of Wyoming got the right to vote. The waffle iron was first patented in 1869. It was a good year.

2) One-hundred years later, the amazing New York Mets won their first World Series championship after years of last place finishes. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

3) The waffle began its illustrious culinary journey during the Middle Ages. The waffle! So if someone calls this era the Dark Ages, waggle your finger at the fool and say, “Nooooo!”

4) The waffle became so popular that bloody fights became common between waffle vendors seeking prime locations. So much so, that a King of France took off time from wars and mistresses to decree a minimum distance between the warring vendors.

5) It has been said the French Revolution started in 1789 in part by disgruntled vendors seeking to throw out royal enforcement of the waffle decrees.

6) America annexed Hawaii in 1898 to ensure a steady supply of pineapple chunks in juice for its burgeoning appetite for Hawaiian waffles. A drastic measure perhaps, but it is worthwhile to note America has never since been involved in any military conflict over foreign pineapples. The same cannot be said for oil.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Hawaiian Hamburger

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSHawaiHB-

3/4 pound ground beef
1 egg
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/2 medium onion
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon tomato sauce
1/2 cup pineapple juice

4 pineapple slices
4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Mix ground beef, egg, brown sugar, mustard, onion, bread crumbs, and tomato sauce by hand. Don’t say “ew” when doing so.

Make four patties. Brown both sides of each patty. Pour pineapple juice into pan. Cook at medium-high heat until all the meat in the patty turns color. (You can clip off a small section of a patty to look. After a few times, you’ll be an adept chef and know by looking at the meat’s outside or by a finely honed sense of how long things take to cook.)

Toast buns. Put patties in buns. Top each patty with a pineapple slice.

TIDBITS

1) Pineapples were a sign of hospitality in antebellum mansions. Many sea captains would return and put an apple atop on of the posts by the front gate. This meant that the man of the house was home and that you were welcome to visit the homestead.

2) However, it did not mean you would receive special hospitality from the lady of the mansion if you spent the night in a four poster topped with four wooden pineapples. Instead, finding those pineapples on your bed meant you had overstayed your welcome. The number of pineapples denoted the seriousness of the “please leave” message.

3) “Hawaiian” is one of the few English words with the letter sequence “aiia.”

4) If the first hamburger restaurant to have gone national had been from Hawaii, our favorite fast food restaurant might have been Nâwilliwili burgers.

5) This would have caused a national crisis as most word processors, including mine, don’t have the necessary foreign character of “a” with a straight line over it.

6) Would a national character crisis be bad for America? I don’t know, but the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 was pretty scary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hawaiian Pineapple Roll

Hawaiian Dessert

HAWAIIAN PINEAPPLE ROLL

INGREDIENTS

3 cups pineapple pieces
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons peanut butter
1 teaspoon butter
4 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar (1/3 cup more later)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

4 egg whites
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 flour (sifted is preferred)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

confectionary sugar
whipped cream

PREPARATION

MAKE SURE all the juice is drained away from the pineapple. All! If you put juice in this recipe, your Hawaiian log will be a Hawaiian crumble.

Cover baking pan with pineapple pieces. Sprinkle brown sugar over pineapple. Spread peanut butter as evenly as you can over sugar and pineapple. Crumble the butter into bits and scatter them over the top.

Separate egg yolks from egg whites. You can do this by partially cracking the egg shell and letting the white drain out or let the entire inside come out and gently fish out the yolk with a spoon. Don’t even think about removing the yolk with a fork.

Beat the egg yolks with whisk until they thicken. Mix in vanilla and 1/4 cup sugar

Beat egg whites until surface gets lumpy. Mix in 1/3 cup sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt until thoroughly blended

Add the egg-yolk mixture to the egg-white blend and stir, stir, stir. Your wrist should be getting quite a workout at this point. Spread this combination over the pineapple and brown sugar in the baking pan.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 20 minutes. Loosen edges and turn over baking pan over large plate liberally sprinkled with confectionary sugar. Let stand for at least 5 minutes before rolling. After that, let it stand for an additional 10 minutes or until cool. Place pineapple roll on plate

Alternatively, if you are fortunate enough to possess a towel do the following instead of the instructions in the above paragraph. Sprinkle tea towel with confectionary sugar. Turn the baking pan upside down of the towel and let the cooked pineapple mixture fall onto the towel. Roll up the pineapple mixture as you roll up the towel. Let sit for 10 minutes or until cool. Unroll towel. Place resulting pineapple roll on plate.

Cover with whipped cream. This step is critical. It makes your dish taste better. The layer of whipped cream over the roll hides any mistakes in the Hawaiian roll. Did your carefully crafted roll fall apart when transferring it to the serving dish? Don’t worry, with enough whipped cream no one will ever know.

TIDBITS

1) Vanilla has alcohol in it. People craving alcohol bought lots of vanilla for “cooking.”

2) Captain Cook discovered Hawaii in 1778. He named them the “Sandwich” Islands. I love that name.

3) The Hawaiians killed Cook on his third Pacific voyage in 1779. It remains doubtful that he ever even tasted a Hawaiian pineapple roll before his death.

4) The British flag is part of the Hawaiian flag.

5) The Japanese precipitated America’s entry into World War II with their surprise attack on the American Pacific Fleet at Honolulu. Their attack was provoked, in part, by America’s embargo of oil and metals to Japan. It is believed that Hawaiian Pineapple Rolls were not part of the embargo.

6) On the other hand, you need a sifter to sift flour. Sifting flour has been out of fashion for decades. If you don’t have a sifter, use your food processor and “chop” or “mince” it.

7) A food processor does wonderful work crushing and crumbling solidified brown-sugar blocks. Just be prepared for a brown-sugar cloud near the processor. If our weather reports could only be, “sunny with patches of brown-sugar clouds.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hawaiian Eggs

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN EGGS

INGREDIENTS

2 medium onions
1 8 ounce can pineapple pieces
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
2 tomatoes or 1 pound can diced tomatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon corn flour
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
6 hard-boiled eggs
1 cup rice
2 cups water

PREPARATION

Mince onions. (You have purchased a small processor, haven’t you?) Drain water from diced tomatoes. Saute the onion in butter. Remove the pineapple pieces. Keep the juice.

Blend the corn flour, 2 tablespoons reserved pineapple juice, vinegar, ginger, diced tomatoes, pineapple pieces, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Add this mix to pan and half of the remaining pineapple juice.

Heat on medium heat for 2 minutes. Simmer for 8 minutes more. Peel eggs. Cut eggs in half lengthwise. Cook rice according to instructions on package.

Cook rice and water according to instructions on bag. Spread this exciting rice on plate. Add eggs. Spoon sauce over rice and eggs.

TIDBITS

1) “Pineapple” is slang for “hand grenade.” This term derives from the appearance of American hand grenades during World War II.

2) Hawaii is one of the only two states not to allow gambling. The other is Utah.

3) Pineapples were unknown to the ancient Romans.

4) Pineapples were originally native to Brazil and Paraguay. Brazil has won the most World Cups in soccer. Coincidence? Perhaps …

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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