French Dessert
CHOCOLATE MOUSSE
INGREDIENTS
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate
3 eggs
1½ cups heavy cream
6 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 can whipped cream (Optional in some households. Mandatory in mine.)
2 teaspoons chocolate shavings*
* = Already made chocolate shavings are hard to find. You may generate them by taking a grater or a knife to a bar of dark chocolate or
by using a food processor.
SPECIAL UTENSIL
sonic obliterator
PREPARATION
Add chocolate to pan. Cook on medium heat until chocolate melts completely Stir constantly. Put melted chocolate in large, first mixing bowl and let cool down to room temperature.
Separate egg whites from egg yolks. Add egg whites to second mixing bowl and beat them with whisk until you see peaks form. Add egg yolks to third mixing bowl and beat them egg yolks until they become fluffy. Add heavy cream, sugar, and vanilla extract to fourth mixing bowl. Whisk
until cream becomes frothy.
You may become frothy as well. Just don’t let anyone see you and if they do say you’re the chef and as chef you’re entitled to be this way and would you like to prepare dinner instead? No, I didn’t think so. Okay then, on with the recipe.
Fold egg yolks completely into melted chocolate. Fold egg whites completely into chocolate/egg white mix. Fold in heavy cream/sugar/vanilla extract mix until completely blended. Divide mousse equally between cups. Let guests garnish their mousses with a much whipped cream and chocolate shaving. Serve chilled.
Use sonic obliterator on any guests who use up the whipped cream. You don’t need the negativity of the succeeding, whipped-cream deprived guests.
TIDBITS
1) The plural of chocolate mousse is chocolate mousses.
2) The plural of moose is moose.
3) Why not?
4) Teddy Roosevelt ran for president in 1912 on the Bull Moose ticket.
5) In 1902, he saved a bear from getting shot. This idea inspired Morris Michtom to invent the teddy bear. Hundreds of millions of children have owned and loved this toy.
6) There’s a campaign picture from 1912 of Teddy Roosevelt riding a moose across a river.
7) This event inspired Silas B. Firefly to invent the chocolate moose. Chocolate moose were especially popular Easter treats for decades.
8) Indeed, we’d still be eating chocolate moose on Easter and other days as well if it weren’t for the disputed presidential election of 1960. Some people think there were enough voting irregularities in that campaign for Nixon to have won in a recount.
9) But a recount didn’t happen. Nixon thought a recount would have caused permanent divisions in America. Also, many culinary historians believe he made a deal with Kennedy. If he, Richard Nixon, would not contest the election, Kennedy would do all he could to drive the chocolate-moose manufacturers out of business, paving the way for chocolate-bunny dominance.
10) For Nixon was also a fervent chocolate-bunny lower and hated the more popular moose design. His parents never could find chocolate bunny to give their irate little Richard on Easter morning.
11) Although he never talked about it, the whole thing left Richard Milhous Nixon embittered for life. Nixon entered politics with a strong desire to set things right in America. He eventually became president.
12) As president, Nixon went to China. He negotiated treaties with them. As a result, Chinese food became wildly popular in America. We didn’t have to eat weird things in JelloTM molds any more. Nixon became wildly popular.
12) Then came Watergate. His involvement in those political shenanigans made him wildly unpopular. People forgot that all the undiscovered China dishes he brought back to this land. They forgot how good Jello could taste just by itself. Oh, and they forgot how he brought a stable, less threatening relationship with China. So, he resigned.
13) But his legacy of the chocolate Easter bunny lives on. We have not had a nuclear war since the chocolate bunny won our hearts.
14) And every president since Nixon gives a chocolate bunny to every world leader who visits America. Two bunnies, if the foreign dignitary visits the White House on Easter.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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