Posts Tagged With: land mines

Hell Is Walmart Or Costco At Christmas Eve

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”

– Thomas Paine

I’m convinced that Mr. Paine has a time machine and wrote those immortal words after trying to park and shop at WalMart and Costco on December 24. Indeed, you could go seamlessly from life on Earth to an eternity in Hell if you happen to die  while thrashing your way through the sea of Brownian motion that are their customers. You wouldn’t even notice the great passing over had occurred until you tried to leave the parking lot by a red imp with a tail and pitchfork.

Just as the use of land mines by armies is coming under greater and greater pressure by nearly every nation, so is the weekend deployment of Walmarts and Costcos in battle zones.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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