Angry Man #2
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., and travel advisor
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1 24″-baguette (ficelle style, if you can find it)
¼ cup salted butter, softened
9 ounces ham, sliced
9 ounces Gruyère or Emmental cheese (optional)
Serves 3. Takes 10 minutes.
PREPARATION
Cut baguette open lengthwise almost all the way through. Open baguette. Spread butter evenly on top and bottom. Place ham evenly along baguette bottom. Distribute cheese, if used, evenly on top of ham. Close and press baguette. Divide into 3 8″-long sandwiches.
TIDBITS
1) In 1972, Neil Diamond recorded the song, “Song Sung Blue.” It is a great song and has remained justly popular for 50 years.
2) If you substitute the words “Jambon Beurre” for “Song Sung Blue” you still have a truly great song. Okay, sing the song in your head with the new lyrics. See? Ya see? The song’s still superb.
3) Jambon Beurre is a simple, yet great sandwich. French sandwich lovers have eaten them for many, many years.
4) How many?
5) I don’t know.
6) But I do know that the French devoured a little over a billion jambon beurres in 2013.
7) That’s not current. That’s from about nine years ago, as of press time.
8) But it takes a long time to count that high. If a French woman, say Farine du Ble were to count one such sandwich every second, it would take her about 33 years to complete the tally. Clearly, the task is more than a one-woman job.
10) Perhaps France could eliminate all unemployment by hiring all those without jobs to count the jambon beurres being consumed. In February, 2022 had 2,977,000 out of work people. If these people were hired by the state to count a billion jambon beurres and took ten seconds to count each sandwich, it would take them about an hour. Maybe longer if the counting involved travel.
11) Now you know how important arithmetic can be.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Wanda Wunder turns her fertile brain to a long-standing problem.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
On a roll
How many times have you had to run to the toilet? How many times has the toilet sped toward you? None. But it gets you thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice if the scenery would change while you’re doing your business? Of course, it would. Look at the immense popularity of dinner trains or cruises. People on these touristy getaways love to see the great outdoors slowly move by as they eat.
People on toilets are no different. They’d dearly love to see the outdoors move while they move their insides. Let’s face it, this isn’t going to happen with our indoor toilets. Doing so would require extensive structural damage to our home.
But it is possible with outhouses. Simply place the half-moon shed on runners or skis, get something to do the pulling, and Bob’s your uncle. Poetry in motion.
Why not make mobile outhouses fun and competitive?
You can at the Outhouse Races held during the Fur Rondy Festival in Anchorage, Alaska. Sure there are other outhouse races, but Rondy’s is the biggest. Go big or go home.
Would-be participants should know the rules. You need a port-a-potty. You need to put the pooper on a pair of skis. The port-a-potty must be structurally sound. It’s really no fun at all and most embarrassing to be in a exploding or collapsing crapper. Registration costs $100 per team.
Then decide if you wish to enter in the traditional or unlimited divisions. Are you an old-school race pooper or are you a visionary?
Go there. Have fun.
You got to move it, move it.
Register by February 22 to compete in this year’s race. Um no, unless you have a time machine. And if you really had a time machine, would you really use it to compete in an outhouse race? The bright side is, of course, that you have about 354 days to register for next year’s race. Mark the calendar. Don’t be caught with your pants down.
But wait, there’s more! Other events include:
Fur Rendezvous Royal Tea & Coronation
Alaska State Snow Sculpture Competition – (Carving)
ALL Alaska Native Fur Rondy Basketball Tournament
Sled Dogs Downtown
Frostbite Foot Race Bib Pickup
Curling Bonspiel
Rondy World Championship Sled Dog Races
Carnival
Snowshoe Softball
Frostbite Footrace and Costume Fun Run 8am
Ice Bowling
Grand Parade
Blanket Toss
Fireworks Extravaganza Party, Tickets were limited, but you missed it anyway.
World Championship Outdoor Hockey Tournament
Blizzard Bash Concert
Cornhole Ice Breaker Tourney
Family Skate / Skate with the Critters
Running of the Reindeer
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., and travel advisor
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS – STEAK
1 pound steaks, skirt, flank, or ribeye
½ tablespoon minced garlic
¾ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
INGREDIENTS – SANDWICHES
4 sandwiches rolls, hoagies
1 cup guasacaca (See previous recipe)
1 cup lettuce, shredded
⅓ cup carrots, shredded
⅓ cup Parmesan cheese
1 tomato
½ cup potato sticks
ketchup (optional)
mayonnaise (optional)
Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
PREPARATION – STEAK
Cut steak into strips ½” wide. Add steak strips, garlic, and salt to mixing bowl. Rub garlic and salt into steak strips. Add seasoned steak strips and vegetable oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 3 minutes or until strips brown. Stir frequently. Add Worcestershire sauce. Sauté for an additional 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove from heat.
PREPARATION – SANDWICHES
Split sandwich rolls in half. Spread guasacaca on all halves. Divide shredded lettuce and carrot evenly between the bottom roll halves. Top lettuce with carrot. Place steak strips on carrot. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on carrot. Cut tomato into 8 slices. Put 2 tomato slices on each sandwich. Sprinkle potato sticks on tomato slices. Spread ketchup and mayonnaise, if desired, on bun tops. Assemble sandwich.
TIDBITS
1) Little Pepe was known throughout Venezuela for wearing sandals and being clumsy. One day, for reasons that are lost to history, Pepe carried all the ingredients to a post office. As he opened the door, Pepe dropped guasacaca on his left big toe and all the other ingredients on the right big toe. “Whoa,” said the postmaster, “the same food on your toes would look delicious between two sandwich rolls. And so the Pepe Toe sandwich was born. Soon, it shortened to the Pepito Sandwich.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Angry Man #1
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
2 eggs
1 pound farmers’ cheese or cottage cheese
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ cup flour (5 tablespoons more later)
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup raisins (optional)
3 tablespoons flour (2½ tablespoons more later)
2 tablespoons flour
1½ tablespoons vegetable oil (½ tablespoon per batch)
3 tablespoons sour cream (optional)
1 tablespoon confectioners’ sugar
Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
PREPARATION
Add eggs to mixing bowl. Beat eggs well with whisk. Add cheese. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add baking powder, ½ cup flour, salt, and sugar. Mix with whisk until batter is well blended. Fold in raisins.
Spread 3 tablespoons flour over flat surface. Ladle batter evenly oven flour. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons flour on batter.
Add ½ tablespoon vegetable oil to large pan. Heat oil at medium heat until a bit of batter begins to dance. Use spatula to carefully add 2″ square pieces of flour-covered batter. (Don’t let them touch each other. You might need to cook in batches.) Cook for 2 minutes per side or until brown all over. Repeat for each batch. If desired, garnish with sour cream or confectioners’ sugar.
TIDBITS
1) This is the first time my tidbits have not been funny. Twelve days before writing this, Putin ordered a unprovoked invasion of Ukraine. This is an existential war for the defenders. I so wish for better days for Ukraine. The nation’s flag is on the left. The country’s symbol, the sunflower, is on the right.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Funny cow watches funny shows.
So many good, funny shows to remember. I’m probably forgetting some great shows. Some I never saw. I enjoyed all the ones in this fifth list.
Addams Family
Andy Griffith
All in the Family
Barney Miller
Bernie Mac
CPO Sharkey*
George Burns and Gracie Allen
Happy Days
Laverne and Shirley
Married with Children
Petticoat Junction
Sanford and Son
Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour
Waiting for God
Wodehouse Playhouse*
* = Show is side splittingly funny and I wished there had been more episodes.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Serious Young Man Waiting for His Serious Show
Here is the fourth installment of my favorite, serious TV shows. I’m probably forgetting some great shows. Some I never saw.
Adventures of Robin Hood
Agatha Raisin *
Avengers *
Californians
Connections
Dragnet (1951-1959)
Durrells in Corfu*
Grantchester
Hill Street Blues
Lone Ranger
McCloud
Murder Call
Number 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency
Rockford Files
Saint
Scott and Bailey
Star Trek
The Tunnel
Time Tunnel
Viking Valhalla
* = Primarily serious, these shows have a strong element of humor as well.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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