Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

You Need to See a Lion Taking a Sunbath

Life can be stressful. Demands on your time prove overwhelming. Perhaps you’ve been given impossible must-complete-or-else projects. Maybe you’re just plain worn out reestabling dominance over the other alpha males wanting to take over your harem. Whatever the case, you need to chill out. And what better way than contemplating a lion taking a sunbath.

You need to see #32

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Food to Die For: Paul’s 365 Meals of Murder, Mayhem, and Mischief – September 17

September 17: This entree honors British troops leaving  for South Africa to fight in the Boer War.*
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Soldiers never like leaving a place, whether it’s their beloved homeland or an exotic land that they’ve come to admire. So then, how much worse is it when you’re leaving to fight the Boers in South Africa? Very much worse. That enemy invariably fires back at you. With malicious intent. Suppose you’ve embarking from India with its verdant scenery and oh so good curry. As far as you know, South Africa has none of that. “Why am I going there?” you asked yourself.

Because you’ve been ordered to do as part of the war effort. And remember you’re not only one forced to go to South Africa. In the 1860s, British sugar-cane plantations needed ever more workers. So they imported Indians to work as indentured servants.

Being forced to get shot  repeatedly or to work without salary for a specific number of years is never fun. But since you’re already there, why not avail yourself of the amazing, tasty curry dishes this wonderful land has to offer?

The meal you should serve to commerate this day:  Bunny Chow

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Celebrate the drive and determination of the British soldiers and subjects who brought along their love of curry by sampling my favorite South African dish.

 

BUNNY CHOW

 

INGREDIENTSbunnychow

1 medium onion
3 medium potatoes
4 cardamom pods
1 cinnamon stick
½ teaspoon fennel seeds
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tomatoes
2 pounds chicken breasts or lamb
3 fresh curry leaves
3 tablespoons Durban masala (See recipe)
⅓ cup chicken stock
2 1-lb whole white loaves
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Add onion, potato, cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, fennel seeds, and vegetable oil to Dutch oven. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir constantly. Remove from heat.

Dice tomatoes. Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Add Durban masala, Add tomato, chicken, curry leaves, and Durban masala to Dutch oven. Cook using medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Add chicken stock. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes or until potato is tender and chicken is no longer pink inside. Remove Dutch oven from heat. Discard cinnamon stick.

Slice bread loaf in half along its length. Use sharp knife to cut off most of the soft white bread from each half. Leave ½”-to-1″ of bread crust along the edges and bottoms. (The scooped out bread can be made into bread crumbs.) Ladle potato/tomato/chicken mixture into each hollowed-out loaf half. Garnish with coriander. Repeat for second bread loaf.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Wanda Wunder Wonders About Taxes

Wanda Wunder #33

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Death By Paper Cuts

Definition #2

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Banana Split

American Dessert

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BANANA SPLIT

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INGREDIENTS­
2½ tablespoons hot fudge sauce or chocolate syrup
1 banana
1 scoop chocolate ice cream*
1 scoop strawberry ice cream*
1 scoop vanilla ice cream*
½ tablespoon roasted chopped peanuts
¼ cup whipped cream**
3 maraschino cherries with stems
¼ teaspoon sprinkles (optional)
* = Should be fairly firm.
** = Oh heck, spray or spoon as much whipped cream as you want.
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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banana split boat or small oval dish
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Serves 1 or 2. Takes 5 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Microwave hot fudge sauce for 20 seconds or put hot fudge sauce in small pot. Heat on low until sauce becomes warm and fluid. Peel banana and split in half along its length.
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Place banana halves cut sides face up in banana split boat. Put ice cream scoops between banana halves. Drizzle hot fudge sauce over ice cream. Sprinkle chopped peanuts over fudge sauce. Spoon whipped cream over peanuts. Sprinkle sprinkles over whipped cream. Top everything with maraschino cherries.
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Note: Work quickly if the temperature in your kitchen is 90 degrees or more.
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TIDBITS
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1) In 1904, David Evans Strickler, of Tassel Pharmacy created first banana split for the nearby sweet-toothed college students of Latrobe, Pennsylvania. The tasty dessert spread like wildfire across the world. Alas, swirling controversy enveloped the tasty dish with multiple towns claiming to have created the first banana split. In 2004 the National Association of Ice Cream Retailers (NAICR) declared Latrobe to be the birthplace of the banana split. Nine years later the Pennsylvania Museum and Historical Commission placed a plaque at the former site of Tassel Pharmacy. Someone later,  perhaps at midnight, erected a gigantic banana split statue nearby. Show up there to see the activities of Latrobe’s annual Great American Banana Split Celebration. Be sure to go there and see how exciting and tasty history really can be. Latrobe welcomes you with open arms and split bananas.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Cucumber Water

American Appetizer

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STRAWBERRY CUCUMBER WATER

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INGREDIENTS – MAIN
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½ pound strawberries (¼ pound more later)
5″ cucumber (2½” more later)
8 cups water
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INGREDIENTS – GARNISH
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¼ pound strawberries
2½” cucumber
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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mandoline (optional)
colander
2½ quart or larger pitcher
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Serves 8. Takes 30 minutes plus 3 hours to refrigerate
PREPARATION – MAIN
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Remove stems from ½ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 5″ cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Add strawberry slices, cucumber slices, and water to pitcher. Refrigerate for 3 hours. Strain contents through colander. Discard solids. This is the infused water. Return infused water to pitcher. Keeps for 3 days in refrigerator.
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PREPARATION – GARNISH
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Remove stems from ¼ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 2½” cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Garnish with strawberries and cucumber slices before serving. Stir 2 times with long wooden spoon.
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TIDBITS
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1) Engineers do extensive analysis before building. This usually includes constructing a scale model and subjecting it to all sorts of tests.
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2) In this case a city, which shall remain nameless, wanted to build a bridge to tout their thriving strawberry and cucumber industries. This meant making the world’s first strawberry/cucumber bridge. Alas, the bridge failed on the very first and simple test. With the strawberry slices collapsing catastrophically under the weight of cucumber slices. (See the submerged red slices above.) A bridge that collapses under the weight of small vegetable slices is likely to collapse under the weight of vehicular traffic and even pedestrian traffic. City planners abandoned the fruit hybrid bridge.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cool Vanilla Latte

American Appetizer

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COOL VANILLA LATTE

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INGREDIENTS
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2 cups coffee, cold
⅔ cup sugar
4 cups milk
2 tablespoons vanilla syrup
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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covered pitcher or mason jars equal to 7½ cups
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Serves 6. Takes 10 minutes.
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Note: You can make other Cool Latte flavors by changing the syrup flavor, caramel for example.
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to large mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until sugar dissolves.  Keep refrigerated.
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TIDBITS
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1) You should make this. It’s so tasty and simple to put together. It’s also economical. I figure using the ingredients I bought that it cost me 4¢ an ounce while the major brands’ versions run 18¢ to 25¢. Making your own tuna sandwich with tuna and mayonnaise is also easy and much cheaper than buying premade ones in the deli. There are many other instances where making your own is cheaper and more satisfying than purchasing processed foods and drinks.
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2) Now, suppose your neighbor is a complete oaf who blasts his music all night and says all sorts of hurtful things. You’d like to make him stop, but he’s much taller and stronger than you. What to do?
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3) The first thing that naturally comes to mind is to get a AH-64e v6 Apache attack helicopter. According to Boeing’s website, “AH-64E v6 is a lethal, survivable and agile system providing the reach, maneuverability and performance needed by ground forces and contributes to current and future joint mission success.” Just what you need for dealing with that next-door brute.
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4) And since I convinced you with the first tidbit to make your own things, you’re going to give building a AH-64e a go. Good for you! Unfortunately, it takes quite a lot of time–much longer than mixing up a Cool Vanilla Latte. Thus, you’re really unlikely to get your chopper up and flying before a dying and rapidly expanding Sun overwhelms the Earth. Especially if you’re unskilled in electronics. No, if you really wish to achieve overwhelming air supremacy over the beastly neighbor, you need to raid your savings account or look under sofa cushions and buy a $130 million AH-64E v6. If that price is too steep for you, wait for Labor Day sales or settle for a v5.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, motivational | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Horrible Truth

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Lyrics of Arethra Franklin

Did any of you ever think Arethra Franklin sang “unnatural” instead of “a natural” in the song “A Natural Woman?” Didn’t it change the meaning of the song just a bit? Indeed.

Misheard Lyrics #6

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Deep Thought Man Ponders Home

We’ve all had these thoughts.

Deep thought #12

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Deep Thinker | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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